


how things are supposed to be

by maggiesbombshell



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Adora is a Lesbian, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Catra Needs A Hug, Catra is still a cat, Childhood Friends, Don't ask me why lol, EXTREME SLOWBURN, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, adora deals with comp het, catra is a lesbian, catra is abused, catra is in an abusive relationship, comp het
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:53:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 42,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggiesbombshell/pseuds/maggiesbombshell
Summary: Adora and Catra have been best friends ever since they could remember. They want to spend their entire lives together. But according to Adora's mom, that's not how things are "supposed to be".





	1. we should get married adora.

When you're a child, you don't really have a filter. You basically say whatever you want. You don't really know any better. So maybe that's why _that_ conversation happened between Catra and Adora.

 

_Catra squints and looks up from the mud she's playing in at Adora. "My mom says you have to leave soon."_

_Adora groans. "It's probably because she signed me up for stupid piano lessons."  
_

_"Piano lessons? gross." Catra starts to make a mud pie._

_"I know. I told her I didn't want to play the piano but she really wants me to due something out of school. She's probably getting annoyed with me being around all of the time." Adora says._

_"How could she get annoyed with you? You're awesome."_

_Adora smiles but doesn't look up at Catra. "I don't know. Maybe it's because of the muddy footprints I left in the house last week."_

_Catra pushes her untamed hair behind her ear with her muddy hands. "I don't know what I'm gonna do while you're gone. It's not really fun playing outside all alone. And if I get grass or anything from outside in the house my mom gets mad."_

_"Well they're only an our long. And they're only on Fridays. As soon as I get home I'll come over and we can play."_

_"We should get married one day Adora. Then we can spend as much time together as we want to. We can even keep mud pies in our house!" Catra giggles._

_"That would be awesome."_

 

 

Today is the first day of 11th grade. The hardest year of high school as some say. 

Adora rolls out of bed and walks over to her closet. She takes a white collared blouse and gray jeans off of their hangers and brings it to her bathroom. 

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

After she gets ready, Adora heads downstairs and pulls out her phone to call Catra and make sure she's awake. 

Adora's mom slides two plates onto their kitchen table, one for her dad (who was already at the table) and one for Adora.

Catra answers Adora's facetime call on the last ring.

"Hey Adora", Catra says in the middle of a yawn.

"Catra, why are you still in bed? I'm leaving in ten minutes."

"Oh shit. Sorry. Must've slept through my alarm again..."

"It's fine. Just be ready in 10 or you're riding the bus to school." Adora hangs up and starts to eat the breakfast her mom made. Adora received a car for her sixteenth birthday as a gift from her dad. Catra's mom told Catra that she didn't deserve a car. Adora thought that Catra did deserve one so she drives Catra when she needs to and let's her borrow it. 

"Adora I think your collar is supposed to be rolled up a little bit." Adora's mom leans over the chair and rolls up her collar a little.

"Well I like it the way it was so I'm keeping it that way." Adora fixes her collar back.

"Supposed to be" is a phrase Adora's mom tends to say a lot. 

 

_"Mom?"_

_"Yes Adora?"_

_"How did you know you wanted to marry Daddy?"_

_"Well, we just really loved each other. You thinking about getting married Adora?" , her mom jokes._

_"I think I'm gonna marry Catra when I get older." Adora fiddles with her hands,_

_"Girls don't marry other girls silly!"_

_"Why not? I wanna live with Catra like you live with Daddy."_

_"Well you can't marry her. It's just not how things are supposed to be."_

_"Oh. Okay."_

 

Adora never forgot that conversation. It took place in the car to her first piano lesson. It wasn't the last time her mom would say something like that either.

Adora walked out to her car to see Catra leaning against it. 

"You look _hot_ Adora." 

Adora feels her cheeks flush. "You do too. Even though you wear the same thing everyday."

Catra feigned a defensive face. "I do not!"

Catra's wearing a black top that's almost cropped, ripped blue jeans with a flannel around her waist and black high topped vans. 

Before Adora was able to respond her mom comes running out the back door.

"Wait! I didn't get pictures!"

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

They leave out after Adora's mom takes what feels like _millions_ of pictures.

"Did you eat?"

"No, I didn't have time to before I left out", Catra responds.

No too long after Catra's response, Adora pulls into the drive-thru of a Starbucks.

"Oh fuck yeah. Adora, you are literally God."

Adora playfully rolls her eyes. She likes taking care of Catra. She could be really irresponsible but it never bothered her. "Did you do your summer reading?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I really didn't want to, but I didn't want to see the look on my mom's face if she found out I got a zero for it."

Catra's mom treats Catra like shit most of the time. Catra makes light of it and jokes about it but Adora knows that Catra genuinely fears her mom's actions sometimes. So she grabs Catra's hand and interwines it with hers. 

Catra sighs. "I hope we have more classes together this year."

"Yeah, me too. I know you were probably missing me like crazy throughout the day." Adora says to lighten the mood.

"Lies." 

"The only person that's lying in this car right now, is you." Adora smirks.

 

They _barely_ make it to school on time. Luckily, they were in the same homeroom.

After the bell rings Catra and Adora look over each other's schedules in the hallway. 

"Two regular classes together, not bad." Adora says.

"But we don't have lunch together..."

"Maybe Scorpia and Entrapta will have the same lunch as you."

"Ugh. You know what, Adora, I am convinced this school is homophobic. They hate me and won't let me get a good lunch period because I'm a lesbian. This is a hate crime."

Adora laughs. "We have study hall too."

"They're still homophobic, I don't care."

"I'll see you in 3rd period Catra. Don't miss me too much."

Catra sticks her tongue out in response and heads to her first period.


	2. lonely lunches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra feels lonely without adora around, adora worries about catra.

          Catra and Adora had the same lunch period for years.  Of _course_ they're separated in the hardest year of high school. Of fucking course. To make it even worse, neither Entrapta or Scorpia were in Catra's lunch period either. 

Some people would take this as an opportunity to make new friends, but not Catra. She absolutely _hates_ making new friends. She has mega trust issues so it was pretty hard for her to get close to anyone after elementary school. Up until now it had worked out in her favor.

Catra knows Adora will be fine. She'll probably eat with Glimmer and Bow. Even if she didn't eat with them Adora would find someone. 

Everyone likes Adora. Catra wasn't as liked. But Catra and Adora had each other so they were okay.

Up until now of course. 

Catra looked around the cafeteria. Everyone had someone. Who was she to just go and sit with an already close-knit group of friends? All the tables were taken outside, so Catra was left with no choice.

The girls bathroom it is. 

 

Catra set her tray on the floor and took a seat on the toilet. She pulled her knees up to her chest and let out a shaky breath.

She feels like crying. And she fucking  _hates_ herself for it. 

Catra hates making friends, but she also hates being lonely. How ironic. 

She has a reason for all of her issues though. Her dad left when she just a baby, and her mother treats her like shit. Mommy and Daddy issues. A two-in-one.

Adora is truly one of the only good things in her life. Adora knows it too.

Maybe that's why she stayed around for so long...

_Stop it._ Catra says to herself. She refuses to let thoughts like this to get the best of her. Not right now.

Not in the school bathroom.

Catra knows what'll calm her down. 

She takes out her phone, earbuds, and sketchbook and starts sketching. She doesn't know exactly what, but time will tell.

 

 

Adora meets up with Bow and Glimmer at lunch. She became friends with them during freshman year. They're great, Adora loves them.

Everything's great with them. Except Catra hates Glimmer, and Glimmer hates Catra. Catra doesn't mind Bow, and Bow just hates all the drama.

Adora never _fully_ understood why they hate each other. 

Sure they're polar opposites, but Catra and Adora are too in a way and they work out together just fine. 

"Adora? You good?" Glimmer asks her, snapping Adora back into reality.

"Yeah. I'm just hoping Catra's lunch period went well."

Glimmer rolls her eyes. "Why do you always worry about her and _insist_ on taking care of her. Catra is almost 17 years old, I think she can navigate herself around the Cafeteria."

Adora shakes her head. This is the one topic her and Glimmer disagree on. "No. You don't know her like I do. We've had lunch together every year since Kindergarten."

"Every year? You two were never put in separate classes?" Bow says, not looking up from his phone.

"We were twice in Elementary school. But I had my mom transfer my class."

"I still don't see why you're so worried about her... Do you guys have separation anxiety or something?", Glimmer replies.

"No, we always spend time together. One period of us not being together is fine. But Scorpia and Entrapta are in here which means she wasn't with them either. And I know Catra hates being alone. And so do I, but Catra really shows it in her actions sometimes." Adora explains.

"I still don't get it. It's _one_ lunch period Adora."

Adora sighs. "And that's okay. You don't know her like I do, I'll send her a text and move on."

 

 

_Adora to Catra:_ hey, was lunch okay? i see that neither entrapta or scorpia were in your period. 

_Catra: is typing..._

_Catra:_ yeah, i worked on some new sketches

_Adora:_ did you eat?

_Catra:_ not really. you know the food is shit most of the time. and i wasn't really hungry.

_Adora:_ okay. just wanted to make sure you're good. 

_Adora:_ now get off of your phone before you get in trouble on the first day back

 

Adora tends to be really motherly. Especially towards Catra. But Catra doesn't mind, she's fine with it as long as Adora knows her boundaries. Plus her mom is kinda shit so...

 

It's finally time for third period, Catra's class with Adora. 

She runs up to Adora in the hall and ruffles her hair. "Adora! It's feels like it's been forever since I've seen you."

Adora smiles. "I saw you a couple hours ago, did you miss me or something?"

Catra's ears flop down a little bit. "Maybe a little, but don't tell anyone."

"Sorry! I can't make any promises. I want every one to know that, Catra, who can literally scratch your eyes out, missed _me_ during the school day."

"I hate you." 

"No you don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3 leave comments please, they really inspire me to write ;)


	3. comp het crushes and new friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're one month into the school year and adora has a new physical science partner. catra makes a new friend.  
> Trigger Warning: Homophobia

One month has passed since the first day of school and Catra and Adora's junior year of high school is in full force. Catra got used to eating lunch without Adora. She uses her free time to work on her sketches and complete school work.

Today during Catra's lunch period she sat outside on the patio. She pulled out her sketch book and worked on perfecting her portrait of Adora she began on the first day. She doesn't know what she's gonna do with it when she's finished with it.

As Catra works on fixing up some of the facial features, a girl walks up to the table she's sitting at.

"Anyone sitting here?"

Catra shakes her head.

The brown haired girl sits across from Catra. "Hi, I'm Lauren."

"Catra."

"You listen to the 1975?" Lauren asks.

"Yeah. They're my favorite band. How'd you know?

" The girl laughs and Catra looks at her confused. This is why she doesn't socialize with other students besides Adora.

_Fucking weirdo._

She's seen the girl in some of her classes.

_She's probably staring at my phone during class. Or following me in the bathroom during Lunch._

"Look at your shirt", Lauren says.

Catra looks down at her shirt, Which reads,  _THE 1975 TOUR_.

_Oh._

"Sorry, I'm dumb", Catra looks down smiles softly.

She mentally scolded herself for immediately thinking the absolute worst scenario in that situation.

"They're my favorite band too."

 

About two weeks ago Adora's science teacher paired students up for the next few classwork assignments.

At first, she was upset that she didn't get paired with Glimmer because Physical Science is the only academic they have together. But she was paired with a guy named Christian and surprisingly, she enjoys being partners with him.

He's really nice and funny. Most guys she'd been partnered up with in the past were either rude, misogynistic, or they smelled  _terrible._

"Hey Adora. You look beautiful as always." Christian says as she sits down next to him.

"You're gonna have to stop flirting with me Christian. This is a strictly buisness relationship. I need to get the highest grade possible in here", Adora says in a playful tone.

"You're gonna have to stop acting as if you don't like me Adora. Because everyone knows you do", Christian smirks.

 _He's gonna make a move on me_. Adora could feel it in her bones.

She could go out with him. He's smart and funny, and attractive.

But it felt kind of forced somehow.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The bell rings, dismissing students to their third period.

"Hey Adora! Wait up!", Christian yells in the hallway, jogging to catch up with Adora.

"Yeah?" _Here it goes..._

"Um, do you have plans on Saturday?"

Adora felt the urge to lie and say yes. Well  _technically_ , she wouldn't be lying because her and Catra would more than likely be hanging out. 

"Actually, no. I do not have plans."

"Do you wanna go out to dinner or something? I get it if you don't want to. No pressure or anything."

_Damn it. He's really nice._

Adora could date him. Right? 

"Sure! Why not?" 

 

Everytime Adora goes out on a date with a guy, it brings up repressed memories and feelings that she'd rather keep locked away. She'd have crushes on guys at school up until they made a move on her. She initially thought that she was just nervous or anxious, so she went on the dates anyway.

The dates were usually nice. But she didn't like the feeling of the guys hand in hers, or she didn't like kissing him.

But Christian is great, maybe she's found the right person to date.

 

_"Adora! Come downstairs honey, I need to talk to you!", Adora's mom yelled._

_It's a Sunday evening and Catra had just went back to her house after sleeping over at Adora's._

_Adora jogged down the stairs and her mom was standing at the kitchen counter._

_"What do you need to talk to me about?"_

_"Your friend Catra."_

_Adora smiles. The sleepover she just had with Catra was their best one yet. "What about her?"_

_"Has she been trying to... touch you in any way, or has she suggested that you guys do anything like that?", Adora's mom asks, concerned._

_Adora scrunches her eyebrows together. What kind of question is that..._  
  
"No, Catra would never do anything like that. Why are you asking me this anyway?"

_"I overheard her tell you that she's a lesbian and I just don't think that's very appropriate for her age", Adora's mom says._

_Realization struck Adora. And she could feel herself becoming angry with her mother._

_"What is that supposed to mean? Are you not gonna let us hang out together anymore because she's a lesbian?", Adora raised her voice._

_"I don't know Adora..."_

_Adora nearly laughed. This was ridiculous. Catra wasn't going to force her to do anything wrong just because of her sexuality._

_"Mom, we're in the 8th grade. Catra is 14 and I think she knows who she's attracted to. How is that inappropriate whatsoever?"_

_"Adora, I know whats best for you an those feelings your friend is having are unnatural. She's not supposed to be that way."_

To this day, Adora's mom is wary of Catra's "lifestyle choices". And Adora hates it. Not to mention it makes her feel shitty about herself.

 _What if I'm a lesbian?_ Adora thinks about it for a moment but forgets all about it when she's sees Catra head her way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the encouraging comments <3 i'm on spring break right now so i'm trying to write as many chapters as possible.


	4. dreaded saturdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora pushes herself further into compulsory heterosexuality, catra hangs out with lauren.

          Catra hates when Adora gets a new boyfriend. She's not jealous or anything, she just wishes having a boyfriend didn't take up so much of Adora's time. 

Adora drove home with Catra and they hung out at Adora's house. They do it nearly everyday. 

Catra was doodling on her math homework paper when Adora suddenly says, "I'm going out on a date on Saturday."

Catra groans. "Ugh. Why do you have to be so damn likeable."

"You think I'm likeable?"

"Um no! I think you're utterly unbearable. I _meant_ why do guys have to find you so likeable."

"Yeah sure. We all know you _adore_ me Catra."

"We should just date each other. Then you could just spend all of your time with me." 

Adora smiles. "You know for someone who hates me you sure do like having me around..."

"Shut up Adora."

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

It's Saturday now. The day of Adora's dreaded dinner date. 

It's 10:00 in the morning and Adora's pacing around her room thinking about what to wear, and what she should say. 

She really doesn't want to go on this date. But she also needs to get over her fear of dating guys. 

Adora and Christian are supposed to be going out to a pizza joint at about 6:00. She's meeting him there. 

Riding in guys cars makes her feel awkward. Especially if they place a hand on her thigh or try to hold hands with her. 

 

Honestly, Adora would rather hang out with Catra tonight.

 

Since it's a Saturday morning, Catra's asleep. 

Catra will literally sleep in until the afternoon when she doesn't have plans. Or unless her mom doesn't force her to wake up.

"CATRA!" 

Catra wakes up quickly. 

_Did she forget to do something her mom asked her to do?_

Catra picks a shirt up off of her bedroom floor and hesitantly walks downstairs.

"Yes?"

"Your friends are at the door."

_Literally who the hell would be here. Adora knows not to bother her in the morning on the weekends._

Catra rubs her eyes and walks to her front door.

She opens it and Scorpia and Entrapta are outside.

"Hey Catra! Long time no see!", Scorpia says.

"Yeah! Hi", Entrapta adds.

 

Catra closes her bedroom door as Scorpia and Entrapta enter. 

"Why are you guys here so early in the morning?"

"Catra it's literally almost 11 o'clock..", Scorpia responds.

"That's early for me. Anyways, why are you here", Catra sits on the bed looking at her nails. 

"If you replied to our text messages maybe you would know", Entrapta says.

"Hey! I don't reply to any of my text messages. It's nothing personal I swear", Catra replies.

"I bet you respond to Adora's as soon you see them", Scorpia teases.

Scorpia thinks Catra has a huge crush on Adora. 

"I do  _not._ "

Catra does but she isn't going to admit that. 

"Anyways, we're here because a couple weeks ago we snagged four tickets to see The 1975 on tour", Entrapta tells her.

Catra jumps off of her bed. "Oh my god! Can I go?"

"Yes. That's why we came over. To see if you wanted to go."

"Yeah, and you can invite someone if you want. I bought the tickets when I was still with my ex and now... yeah", Scorpia says.

Adora doesn't listen to The 1975. She tried to for Catra but said she couldn't get into it.

But she had been talking to Lauren a lot lately. She also got her number.

"I'll ask my friend Lauren. She's nice and funny. You guys will like her."

 

_Catra to Lauren: hey, my friends got 1975 tix for their concert downtown tonight. you wanna come?_

_Lauren: is typing..._

_Lauren: hell yeah. how could i say no to that??_

_............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................_

 

Adora ended up putting on a sweater and jeans along with gray booties. 

When she finally pulls up to the pizza joint, Adora sits in her car for moment. And lays her head on the steering wheel that she still tightly gripped. 

_Hopefully Christian is the right guy._

Adora wipes her clammy hands on her jeans and walks into the restaurant. 

Christian has a booth a few feet away from the door.

"Hey!", Christian says enthusiastically.

"Hi!"

"You like pizza right?", Christian asks.

"Of course I do? Who doesn't?"

But if she were to be honest, Adora didn't feel like eating pizza. Or eating anything.

 

Catra is actually having a really good night. She didn't once think about Adora being on a date.

Or at least not until Lauren brought Adora up. 

"Catra, do you like, have a crush on that Adora girl", Lauren asks while Scorpia and Entrapta are in the restroom.

"Pfft. No. She's like, my best friend in the entire world. And she's straight."

Catra does talk about Adora a lot. And she has found herself staring at her on several occasions. She's even thought about what it would be like to kiss Adora. But Catra never entertained the thought of having real _feelings_ for the girl. Catra's just always had something else to worry about. For instance, her mom.

"Why?", Catra adds.

"Just wondering", Lauren shrugs.

 

Adora's date went really well. She laughed really hard with Christian and it felt natural. Plus he didn't kiss her. It's too early for that.

As she pulls into her neighborhood she parks outside of Catra's house. She wants to tell her everything.

She knocks on Catra's front door and her mom answers.

She internally rolls her eyes. 

Adora absolutely hates Catra's mom. She always acts all nice and stuff when Adora's around, when in reality she treats Catra like garbage when she leaves.

"Hi Adora, Catra's not here. She went to a concert with Scorpia, Entrapta and a new girl named Lauren."

_Lauren? Catra's never mentioned her._

"Oh okay."

She walks back to her car wondering if Catra likes this Lauren girl. Which would make sense since as to why she's never mentioned her, because Catra doesn't like to talk about her feelings.

Not that it would matter if Catra liked her though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and all of you comments! it honestly does motivate me to write.


	5. the tree outside of adora's window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra heads over to adora's after the concert. she climbs up a tree that's full of memories.
> 
> TW//
> 
> mentions of abuse

           Catra didn't get home from the concert until about one in the morning. As soon as Scorpia dropped her off she crossed the street to head over to Adora's house.

 

_Catra to Mom: If you're looking for me, im sleeping over at adora's._

 

Adora has a tree outside of her bedroom window. It's come in handy a  _bunch_ of times for Catra.

 

_Sometimes it seemed as though Catra messed everything up._

_According to her mom at least._

_This time, Catra was trying to grab something off of the kitchen counter. The counter is kind of long and wide and the thing she was trying to reach was in the middle of it._

_Curse her short arms._

_Catra walked to the side of the counter and then proceeded to stretch her arm out. In the process of doing that, she knocks a glass of water off of the edge of the counter._

_The glass breaks._

_Obviously, she cleans up the mess._

_Or at least the best she can._

_About 20 minutes later she hears her mom curse in the kitchen while she's watching TV._

_"Catra! Did you break a glass or something?"  
_

_Catra's eyes widened. "It was an accident I'm sorry. I thought I swept it all of it up"_

_"Well you didn't. And now I have a piece of glass in my foot. How did you even knock it over?"_

_Catra looked down at her feet and stayed silent._

_"You were trying to reach for a cookie weren't you?"  
_

_Yes, Catra was trying to reach for a cookie in her Mom's cookie jar. Sounds innocent doesn't it? A cookie to go with her glass of milk._

_"Yeah..."  
_

_"I also told you that you were not allowed to have one. Correct?"_

_"Yeah but food is meant to be eaten. It's not for decoration", Catra slapped her hand over her mouth._

_She shouldn't have said that. She really shouldn't have said that._

_"So not only are you disobeying the rules, you're talking back too? Get over here right now, Catra."_

_This is really going to hurt. And Catra didn't want to have to deal with the pain. So she runs._

_Her mom follows._

_She ignores her mom's screaming. It was a mixture of strewn swear words and her yelling Catra's name._

_She makes it upstairs just in time to lock her door._

_"CATRA! OPEN THIS DOOR! RIGHT NOW."_

_Cara's heart was pounding her chest. How does she manage to mess up everything?_

_What if she breaks down the door?_

_"Mom I'm sorry! It was an accident, I didn't mean to hurt you!", Catra yells back, tears streaming down her face._

_"CATRA! OPEN THIS DOOR! NOW."_

_Her breathing pace sped up._

_Oh god. This is bad. Really bad. Catra thought._

_"Please, just calm down. I'll let you in if you stop yelling at me!"_

_"CATRA!"_

_"Mommy please! I didn't mean to sound disrespectful, I won't do it again. But please don't hurt me for this. Promise me you won't hurt me!" Catra could taste salty tears in her mouth and she felt as if she could hardly breathe._

_"CATRA! I WILL BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR. YOUNG LADY I WILL BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR! DO YOU HEAR ME?"_

_She couldn't let that happen. If Catra thought her other beatings were bad, they would be nothing compared to this one if her mom got in her room._

_She needed to get out of there. And there was no other way besides the window._

_She could climb out of her window, and run to Adora's house._

_Her room isn't that far from the ground. Catra opens the window._

_And Cats always land on their feet. Right?_

 

_She climbed up the tree that led to Adora's bedroom window. She sits on a branch and knocks on the window._

_Adora opens up her blinds. She looks at Catra and then opens her window._

_"Oh my god, Catra? Were you crying? Are you okay?", Adora reaches her hand out of her window for Catra to take._

_Catra steps into the room and sits on Adora's window seat._

_"I knocked over a glass, my mom stepped on it. I only knocked over the glass because I wanted a cookie. But we all know how she doesn't like me eating basically anything in my freaking house. I run upstairs because she's pissed, and she chases me. I lock my door and apologize to her begging for her to calm down. She threatened to break down my door and I was scared. So I climbed out of my window and well, you know the rest." Catra bursts out into chest racking sobs._

_Adora sits down next to Catra."Why does she care so much about a cookie? You're almost a teenager. I could understand if you were little, sneaking to get a cookie but why would she react like that?"_

_Catra sniffles. "I don't wanna talk about it."_

_Adora pulls Catra into a tight hug. "I'm sorry Catra. You can stay here until you're mom calms down. Don't worry."_

_Catra closes her eyes and rests her head on Adora's shoulder._

 

Catra climbs up the tree outside her window and knocks. Adora's a light sleeper so she should hear her.

Adora opens her window. "Catra? What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?" Adora whispers. But still reaches her hand out for Catra to grab.

Catra jumps onto the window seat. "Yeah. But I just got back and I haven't seen you all day. I already told my mom that I'm sleeping over."

"But you didn't think to ask me? Or give me a little heads up?" Adora says.

"Come on Adora. You know you want me here", Catra smirks.

Adora rolls her eyes. 

Catra walks over to Adora's closet to get something to sleep in.

Adora sits back down on her bed. 

"So, how was your date?"

Adora yawns. "It was good. I'll give you details in the morning though cause I'm tired."

"Okay, I'll be there in a second Princess. So don't hog the blankets please."

Adora doesn't respond. 

When Catra walks over to the bed Adora's basically knocked out. She climbs over Adora and secures the spot next to her under the cover.

What? She just missed her best friend today. That's all.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! i actually have an la exam tomorrow but since you guys seem to be enjoying this fic i decided to work on a chapter ;) and i was gonna write more but i should probably get to bed...


	6. a lazy sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra and adora spend most of the day together. this is basically a filler chapter sjsksjsksjs

         Adora wakes up the next morning and smiles at Catra who's sleeping next to her. She looks so calm and well-rested. Catra's always hyper alert when she's awake.

Adora gets out of bed-carefully so she doesn't wake up Catra and grabs her phone off of her nightstand.

 

_9:30 am_

 

Catra won't be up for a while.

Adora decides to make her breakfast.

When she gets to the kitchen, Adora pulls out eggs, biscuits, orange juice and an assortment of fruit. She's actually made breakfast for Catra a couple of times. She surprised Catra on her 16th birthday last year, and cooked for her a couple of times when she was sick. She likes cooking for her. It makes Catra happy and seeing Catra happy makes Adora happy. 

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

After she's done cooking, Adora sets a large bowl of fruit on the middle of her kitchen table and places Catra's plate on the table as well.

Adora eats and takes a long shower while Catra's still sleeping.

She gets out of the shower and sees Catra still fast asleep. She smiles and continues to dry her hair.

Adora gets dressed and heads to her living room, patiently waiting for Catra to wake up.

About 30 minutes she hears Catra  _finally_ come downstairs.

She yawns and sits next to Adora on the couch. "Hey Adora."

"Hey, I didn't think you were gonna be up until this afternoon to be honest.'

"Wait. It's not even noon yet?", Catra asks.

"Nope! But I'm not letting you go back to bed so don't even try."

Catra groans. "At least tell me you have some good food around."

Adora smiles. "I fixed breakfast, your plate is on the table."

Catra jumps on top of Adora in response and straddles her. "I love it when you make me breakfast, it always tastes _amazing."_

Adora felt her cheeks get hot due to the position her and Catra are in. But she doesn't think Catra notices because she doesn't say anything about it.

Catra gets off of Adora and makes her way to the kitchen.

She brings her plate and orange juice back to the living room, and sets it on the coffee table in front of her. "So, how was your date?"

"It was actually really nice. We got pizza together."

"Did you mention how I'm your favorite person in the world?"

Adora shakes her head and rolls her eyes playfully. "He asked who's on my lockscreen and I said,  _it's my best friend, Catra."_

"Wait, what's your lockscreen?"

Adora picks her phone up off of the coffee table and shows Catra a picture of them in Kindergarten finger painting together.

Catra's mouth widens and then she laughs. "Oh my goddd. You were so tiny Adora!"

"You were too. And still are."

Catra hits Adora on the arm lightly.

"Look at your messy hair Catra!"

They both burst into laughter.

Adora sighs. ''How was the concert?''

"Omg, it was awesome! It made me love the 1975 even more."

"I went over to your house last night, asking where you were, and your mom mentioned this Lauren girl? Who's that?", Adora asks.

"Oh I met her at lunch about a week ago. She loves the 1975 too so I invited her."

"Do you like, _like_ her or something?"

Catra scowls. "No. I just met her."

"Yet you invited her to a concert..."

"It's The 1975 Adora. How could anyone resist?"

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

They spend pretty much the rest of the day lounging around Adora's house. Catra's still wearing Adora's clothes, the shirt hanging off her bony body and the pants loose on her legs. 

They watch a bunch of movies and Catra is cuddled up next to Adora with her head on her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Catra nods in response. She turns around to make sure Adora isn't in sight and then grabs the blonde's phone off of the coffee table.

Catra takes a bunch of ugly selfies. Adora always acts annoyed when she does this but Catra knows she keeps some of them. 

Then Adora gets a text from Christian.

 

_Christian: hey, i had a great time last night ;) do it again sometime?_

 

She couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Boyfriends take up so much time. She'd already missed a Saturday of prime hanging out time with Adora.

Catra hears the sound of a toilet being flushed and places Adora's phone back on the table.

Adora checks her phone and smiles.

Catra fights the urge to roll her eyes and watches whatever's playing on TV.

 

At about 6:00 Catra gets ready to leave.

"I have a shift tonight from 7 to 9. I should probably get going."

"Okay. You need a ride?"

"No, my  _mom_ is driving me." Catra groans for what feels like the 50th time today.

Catra works at Tj Maxx. She pretty much works whenever she can. She also takes shifts at Kroger when she can. It's hard because of school and all of that.

"Shower before you leave."

Catra wants to remind Adora that she's a cat but she probably smells ripe so... "Okay mom."

"Bye Catra."

"Bye Adora. See you tomorrow."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for your lovely comments <3\. I love reading all of them and it makes me excited to write ;))


	7. desperate times call for desperate measures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora's relationship starts to get serious and it takes a toll on catra.

         Catra started working when she turned 15. She's actually always been really responsible with her money. (Adora helped her a lot with that though.) She would get money from family members over the holidays and for her birthday and she would save it. Catra only spends her money on things she needs that her mom won't buy her, and things she  _really_ wants. The reason behind all of that is kind of fucked up though.

Her shift at Tj Maxx was only from 7 to 9 last night. That's shorter than usual so she actually isn't completely exhausted this morning.

But she still doesn't want to go to school. 

 

Catra's school day is bearable. She eats lunch with Lauren and they talk about the concert, she gets an A on a math assignment, her day is going pretty well. 

Until 3rd period.

 

Adora's having a  _great_ day. Christian asks her out on a second date. And she's excited for once.

"Guys, I have great news!", Adora says to Glimmer and Bow.

"Go on...", Bow replies.

"Christian and I are going on our second date on Saturday!"

"That's great! And you actually seem excited for once", Glimmer says.

"I know. He's really great. But...", Adora starts to feel guilty.

"But what?", Glimmer questions.

"Catra. It's the second time I've sacrificed a Saturday. The second time in a row...", Adora starts to contemplate whether she should cancel her date or not. (Best friends over guys any day right?)

"You act like you and Catra are in a relationship or something", Bow says without looking up from his phone.

"What? No I don't."

"As much as I despise Catra and how you're basically in _love_ with her, Bow's right. And I would never say that someone acts like they're in a relationship with her. That's an insult", Glimmer adds.

Adora rolls her eyes. "Liking Catra is an insult?"

"I mean, you're clearly desperate as hell if you do."

Bow groans. "Here we go again with the Catra discourse."

"Glimmer, I get that you two don't like each other, but please remember that she's still my best friend."

"Fine, I'm sorry. I guess."

 

They don't talk about Catra for the rest of their lunch period. But that doesn't stop Adora from thinking about her.

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Third period comes around and as usual, Catra runs up to Adora ruffles her hair.

"Hey Adora."

"Do you really have to mess up my ponytail everytime I see you?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

 

After they're seated in the classroom, Adora tells Catra about her date.

"Christian and I are going out on another date on Saturday," Adora says as she pulls a binder out of her bookbag.

Catra can almost _feel_ jealousy eating away at her but she doesn't show it. "Cool."

 _Cool?_ Adora didn't expect Catra to be angry about the date or anything, but she was at least expecting some snide remark or comment. "Wow. I definitely wasn't expecting that..."

Catra squints her eyes. "Expecting what? My world doesn't revolve around you Adora."

_Ouch._

"I- Nevermind just drop it", Adora sighs.

 

Adora doesn't think Catra's life revolves around her. She takes care of the people she cares about. She has motherly tendencies, that's all. She definitely doesn't think Catra needs to be taken care of by her. Adora likes taking care of people. But with Catra, it's just always been kind of different. And Adora doesn't know why.

Catra on the other hand, has always relied on Adora. It was never really the other way around. And she couldn't help but wonder if Adora thinks she's weak. Maybe that's why she's so adamant on taking care of her. So she doesn't just drop Adora's little comment. She doesn't _need_   Adora. And she refuses to let Adora think that.

They don't talk to each other for the rest of the period.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

It's October now. Adora and Christian have been dating for about 6 weeks now. They made it official about 3 weeks ago. 

Since they were kids, Saturdays were always kind of Catra and Adora's day. They spent nearly every Saturday together. They never went 2 Saturdays in a row without spending time together.

They've now spent 6 without spending time together.

They still hang out after school sometimes and on Sundays sometimes, but Adora's new relationship is pretty 'serious'.

Which is exactly what Catra  _was_ afraid of. But she doesn't need Adora. Her Saturdays have been just fine.

She's been spending more time with Lauren, Scorpia, and Entrapta. And she's even been sorting out her emotions (which fucking sucks by the way) through art. Songs, drawings and sketches, poems and short stories, you name it. 

See? Catra doesn't need Adora around. It's nice to have her around, sure. But she could live without her. 

 

Adora's been spending a lot of time with Christian. She genuinely likes spending time with him. She's been worried that she would never find the right guy for her.

_Or if the right person for her wasn't a guy..._

Not that it would be bad if it _wasn't_ , but her mom would never approve. She's not sure about her Dad. 

She'd have to get use to making out with him though.

Although she'd been spending-and enjoying a lot of time with her _boyfriend,_ Adora misses Catra. Catra had been kind of distant toward her for about a month now. She noticed it when they had the chance to hang out.

 

While Adora's on her way to third period, she turns around and sees Catra. She prepares for her perfect ponytail to be ruined. 

Instead, Catra walks right past her. Too engaged in some conversation with a brunette girl wearing a The 1975 shirt.

Adora frowns slightly. She tries to shrug it off but she can't.

 _It must be that Lauren girl._   

It's not that serious though. She's just missed Catra recently.

That's all.

_Right?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to write longer chapters since a lot of you guys seem to want it lol,, i do read all of the comments and i'm really appreciative of all the feedback <3


	8. coming up for air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra goes on her first real date, adora tries to get over her fear of making out with her boyfriend.
> 
> tw///
> 
> panic attacks

         Catra's never been on a real date. She's kissed girls before (mostly when she's drunk) and has hooked up with girls at parties but that's pretty much it. Mainly because the second someone's genuinely nice to her, she starts to get paranoid and thinks there's some ulterior motive.

Also, who would  _want_ to date her? 

 

The weekend rolls around again and Catra looks out her bedroom window to see Christian walking up to Adora's front door. She scowls.

"Is she hanging out with her boyfriend again?", Lauren wallks up to Catra and stands beside her.

Catra invited her to spend the night the day before. Neither one of them had anything better to do.

Catra sighs. "Yep."

"Someone sounds a little jealous..."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm not  _jealous_... Okay maybe a little, but my reasoning isn't what you expect."

Lauren sits down on Catra's bed. "Go on. I've got time."

Catra sits down next to her. "I've never really had to worry about Adora's boyfriends before. Usually, they turn out to be assholes or Adora doesn't like the guy so she just dumps him. But she's also just so  _likeable_. Something I've literally never been and never will be. Which why Adora's been my only friend for years. And yeah we still spend time together but I- I don't know. I guess I just want a relationship like hers? _Ugh,_ I don't know. I hate talking about feelings. Can we talk about something else?", Catra buries her face in her hands.

They sit in silence for a few moments.

"Are you sure you don't like her?"

"Yes. Adora's my best friend in the entire fricking world. But I don't wanna date her. Why do you keep asking me this? My answers not gonna-"

Lauren crashes her lips onto Catra's. 

Catra's mismatched eyes widen.

She has _so_ many questions.

But Catra still closes her eyes and kisses back. 

Lauren pulls away and smirks. "I find you likeable."

_What. the. fuck._

Catra stares at the brunette in shock. 

"Can I take you out on a date tomorrow?", Lauren asks sincerely.

Catra's mouth basically drops and she wants to slap herself.

 _She's_ supposed to be the one that leaves other girls in shock. Not the other way around.

But Lauren is hot as fuck and loves The 1975, so what is she supposed to do? Say no?

Catra nods slowly in response.

 

Adora can't stand making out with guys. They're always on top of her and it feels like she's trapped in a small space with no air. She usually thinks, " _he just isn't the right guy for me",_ but Christian _is_ the perfect guy for her. 

She's always felt this way, but she's not gay. She just needs to get over her fear of making out with guys.

 _You'll get used to it eventually._ Adora thought.

 

She tries making out with Christian again later on that day. 

He's on top of her kissing her and Adora absolutely hates it.

Her eyes are forcefully squeezed shut and her breathing starts to speed up.

All she can think about is how this feels _wrong._

Repressed memories come to the surface and all she can hear her mom's voice in her head repeating the same thing _over and over_ again. 

_That's unnatural._

_It's just not how things are supposed to be._

_I know what's best for you._

_Girls don't marry other girls silly!_

_That's unnatural._

_It's just not how things are supposed to be._

_I know what's best for you._

_Girls don't marry other girls silly!_

_That's unnatural._

_It's just not how things are supposed to be._

_I know what's best for you._

_Girls don't marry other girls silly!_

_That's unnatural._

_It's just not how things are supposed to be._

_I know what's best for you._

_Girls don't marry other girls silly!_

 

And it just keeps going for what feels like forever.

Christian pulls away and starts to kiss her neck.

Adora squeezes her eyes shut even harder, and she tries to hold back the tears she can feel forming in her eyes.

Until she can't take it anymore.

She pushes Christian off of her and sits up.

Tears start rolling down her face uncontrollably, and it feels like she'd been underwater and she's finally up for air. 

"Adora? Adora, are you okay?, Christian asks.

Adora's breathing still sounds like she's gasping for air.

"Y-yeah... I just feel kinda s-sick."

"You were fine when I first got here. Do you want me to get you anything?"

Adora shakes her head. She wishes Catra was here to calm her down. She'd figure out a way somehow.

"N-no, I'll call my mom. S-she'll help. Y-you should probably... go."

Christian runs his hand through his hair. "I don't wanna just leave you here like this."

"I'll be f-fine. Just g-go", Adora sputters out. 

"Um... Okay well, feel better. And take deep breaths okay? If you need anything, call me."

Adora nods and then Christian finally leaves.

Adora picks up her phone and calls Glimmer.

"Hi Adora. What's up?"

Adora takes a few deep breaths. "C-can you come over? Please? I-I just-

Glimmer interrupts her. "I'm on my way."

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 Glimmer arrives a few minutes later and Adora has calmed down a little bit.

"Adora?"

Adora looks up and sees Glimmer rushing over to her.

"Breathe Adora. Take long deep breaths." Glimmer takes a couple deep breaths and makes gestures towards Adora to do the same.

 

About 10 minutes later, Adora's breathing is nearly back to normal but Glimmer doesn't ask her anything. 

Adora doesn't say anything either.

 _Why do things like this have to be so hard?_   _Why couldn't she just genuinely be into Christian and kiss him like a normal girl would?_

Even though she just had a panic attack in the situation, Adora decides that she's gonna keep trying with Christian.

He's literally the perfect guy, he's  _exactly_ her type. 

But all Adora could think about was how she'd never been fully invested in her relationships with guys. And how she always broke it off. Or how she  _clearly_ doesn't like kissing guys. And how she would think about what it would be like to kiss Catra when they were in middle school.

But she can't be a lesbian.

She just can't be.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you all are enjoying this fic!! I love all of your positive comments and feedback, it motivates me to write and makes me excited to write also <3


	9. the dating pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora helps catra get ready for her date.

         Glimmer slept over at Adora's house. Adora still hadn't told Glimmer what caused her to be so distraught, and she doesn't plan to. She's not even gonna tell Catra.

Adora just wants to have a calm and collected Sunday. 

She already knows Monday is going to be stressful. 

Christian has called her several times, and has left her a bunch of text messages asking about how she's feeling. Which is understandable, but Adora doesn't exactly know what to tell him.

What is she supposed to say to him?

_Uh yeah, I can't make out with you, or any guy for that matter. I just can't do it without wanting to cry. Also, I think I'm gay._

Yeah, no.

Adora and Glimmer are hanging out in her room when Adora hears a knock on the window. 

"Who's knocking on your window?"

Adora opens her blinds and sees Catra. She opens the window and grabs Catra's hand.

"Hey Adora." Catra looks Glimmer up and down with a glare. "Glimmer."

"Catra", Glimmer says, copying Catra's tone.

"Catra what are you doing here? And why didn't you just come to my front door, It's 11 in the morning..."

"Well using the front door is boring. And I want you to help me get ready for my date with Lauren this evening."

_Her date??_

"You have a date with her?"

"Yep."

"I-I thought you didn't like her..."

"Wow Adora, you jealous? I mean I would be jealous if I were you too.  _Look_ at me."

Glimmer rolls her eyes. "Did you pay her to go or..."

"Fuck you Shimmer."

"It's Glimmer."

Adora didn't even comment on Catra and Glimmer's bickering. She's still processing the fact that Catra is going on a date.

"I should get going", Glimmer says, which causes Adora to snap back into reality.

"Why?", she asks.

"Well I'd rather not be you guys' third wheel. Or be around Catra."

Now Adora rolls her eyes. "I don't understand why you two  _hate_ each other so much."

Glimmer shrugs. "Bye Adora. And Catra, tell Lauren I'm sorry that she has to go out with you tonight."

Catra sticks her tongue out in response.

 

Glimmer leaves and Catra and Adora head into Adora's kitchen. 

Catra pulls herself up onto the counter top while Adora looks through cabinets.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"No, I like it when you feed me", Catra replies.

"What if I wasn't here Catra? What would you do? Starve?"

"No. I would order food." Catra shrugs.

"One of these days, _I_ am going to teach you how to cook."

 

Adora ends up fixing them both french toast.  

"What do you need my help with for your date?", Adora asks.

"Basically everything. I have no idea what I'm doing", Catra replies with a mouth full of french toast.

Adora gives Catra a look.

"What?" Catra responds with a puzzled expression on her face.

"You're talking with your mouth full Catra."

Catra gulps down the french toast remains. "Sorry."

"So I think we can start with your hair, cause that will take the longest. How do you want me to do it?"

"Surprise me."

After they both finish eating Adora grabs a brush, a comb, and a spray bottle. 

Catra grabs a family size bag of nacho cheese Doritos out Adora's pantry,and brings it to the living room where Adora is sitting.

She sits on the floor in front of Adora, who's sitting on the couch.

"How are you still hungry?"

"Dude, I'm literally always hungry. And how can I say no to Doritos?" Catra shoves a handful of Doritos in her mouth.

"Please don't get crumbs all over the carpet."

"I won't. Do you think your Mom would mind if I took this home with me?"

"Um, yes. How can you eat all of that?"

Catra shrugs again and Adora begins to comb through her hair.

.................................................................................................................................................................................

Adora ends up combing thoroughly through Catra's hair- which took a while.

Catra couldn't even remember the last time she  _really_ combed through it. In her defense, her hair is a pain in the ass to deal with.

She puts Catra's hair into a big ponytail with two loose strands on the sides of her head.

"You look so cute!" Adora pulls out her phone to show Catra her hair. "Look!"

"I look dumb. Lauren's gonna hate it."

"No she is  _not._ You look so pretty. You should try actually  _doing_ something to your hair every once in a while."

Catra smiles to herself.

 

They basically hang out around Adora's house until the evening. Adora gave Catra tips on what to wear.

"When's the last time you showered?"

"Two days ago", Catra says.

"Okay, make sure you freshen up. And make sure you tell me everything about how it went! She's gonna  _love_ you."

"Okay." Catra gets ready to walk out the front door but stops and turns back toward Adora.

"Hey Adora?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you... for y'know helping me... with my date." Catra rubs the back of her neck.

_Why does she feel so damn awkward?_

Adora smiles. "You're welcome. And Catra, I know you've been kind of distant toward me and all, ever since I made that comment in third period. I just want to let you know that I don't think you  _need_ me. And I don't take care of you because I think you're weak. It's never been that way. I do what I do for you because you're my best friend in the entire world and I  _care_ about you."

Catra smiles back. Then, she hugs Adora.

Which she never does by the way. Adora always initiates hugs.

Adora hugs her back tightly and then lets go. "Have fun tonight."

As Catra leaves, Adora can't help but feel some sort of longing for Catra.

And she doesn't know why.

 

Lauren picks Catra up and takes her to dinner. They go out on a walk afterwards.

"Tell me something nobody knows about you", Lauren says as they walk along the sidewalk of a small string of shops in tow

"Well, Adora knows almost everything about me.  _But_ this."

"But what?" Lauren grins.

"I write songs... and _sing_ them."

Lauren laughs.

Catra frowns.

"No don't frown! That's a good thing! Will you sing something for me one day?"

Catra pauses. "Why not?''

 

And somehow, they get on the topic of their childhoods. Catra explains the fucked up reason why she's saved all of the money she's earned since she was a little kid.

"I was planning to get emancipated. I- uh... my mom she's just-"

"A shitty and abusive person?", Lauren finishes her sentence.

Catra laughs. "Yep! Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Hey, thanks for telling me. When are you gonna be able to move out?"

"I should be able to move out right before I turn 17", Catra answers.

"That's good. If I'm still with you then, we can throw a party."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all of the feedback and comments about how some of you can relate to adora's position. i enjoy reading them <3\. and not to be a self promo person or whatever but i want she-ra mutuals on twitter because i don't have any ;(. my twitter is voidlalisa and i'll follow you guys back and give updates on this story and ones in the future. thanks for reading!!


	10. you can't control it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's homecoming season! catra is in adora's dreams, and adora refuses to deal with what caused her first panic attack.
> 
> and there's sexual content/ implied sexual content in this chapter just in case you want to skip it.

         _"Hey Adora", Catra smirks at Adora and crawls over to her slowly on her bed._

_Adora gulps. "Heyy Catra! Uh- I...uhhh", Adora's mouth goes dry and finds herself at a loss for words._

_Catra suddenly takes off her t-shirt, revealing a black bra._

_Adora cocks her head like a confused puppy. "W-what are you doing?"_

_"Adora, I'm gonna kiss you. Is that okay?"_

_She nods slowly in response._

_Catra places her lips on Adora's and kisses her slowly. At first, Adora's eyes are wide open- out of shock, due to her current situation, but she eventually closes them and kisses her back._

_This is way better than kissing Christian..._

_Catra places her hand on Adora's cheek and kisses her harder._

_Before she can fully process it, Catra pulls away and straddles Adora. Then she flips her so that she's on top of Adora._

_Catra grabs the hem of Adora's shirt and begins to pull on it. Adora pulls it over her head without even thinking about it._

_"Tell me if you want me to stop. Okay?"_

_She nods in response again, unable to form actual words._

_Catra begins to kiss down Adora's neck  and unclips the back of her bra._

_She goes back to passionately kissing Adora on the lips and starts to feel her breasts._

_Adora lets out a small whimper._

_Then she hears a faint voice in the background. "Adora!"_

_Catra moves down lower and starts to unzip Adora's pants. She can feel her stomach doing backflips._

_"Catra..."_

 

"Unngh Catra..." Adora groans while she's still half asleep.

"Adora! Wake up!"

Adora basically jumps out of bed. "I'm up!"

"You slept through your alarm. Catra's already downstairs waiting for you", Adora's mom says.

_Why is Catra here so early..._

_......................................................................................................................................................................................_

Adora gets ready for the day, and she can't stop thinking about the dream. 

She feels guilty.  _Dirty_ almost.

She grabs her phone off her nightstand and sighs.

_5 texts from: Christian_

She'd been avoiding him ever since her... incident on Saturday. She's gonna have to see him at school today though.

Adora heads downstairs and sees Catra at her kitchen table eating sausage and biscuits.

"Hey Adora", Catra says absentmindedly.

"Catra, why are you here so early? Normally you sleep through your alarm, and we both end up being almost late to class."

"I don't know actually. Somehow, I ended up waking up before my alarm even went off? It was really weird."

Adora sits down next to Catra at the table. "How was your date?"

Catra swallows part of a sausage. "It was really nice. We went out to dinner in this place with  _amazing_ sandwiches, and then we went on a walk." 

"That's good." 

They fall into an unusual silence. When Catra and Adora are together, they're never silent for very long.

But Adora couldn't find the right words to say. She found herself staring at Catra's lips and had to make herself focus on something else.

She doesn't know what she's feeling.

 

 

The school day isn't much easier for Adora either. 

She felt _distracted._

She couldn't stop thinking about Catra kissing her in the dream. Her stomach felt like it was tied in knots. And her heart was beating really fast.

_Everything was moving really fast._

People were hanging posters about homecoming all around the school, and the school day just felt abnormally fast.

Her brain couldn't keep up.

............................................................................................................................................................................

"Adora! Oh my god, you're okay", Christian says as she sits down.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why didn't you respond to any of my texts or calls? I was so freaking worried."

"I'm sorry I- I don't know what came over me." She knows what came over her, she had a panic attack. She just doesn't want to talk about what triggered it. "Are you upset with me?"

 _Maybe he'll break up with me_. Adora thought. And it didn't sound bad to her, honestly.

"No. I'm not upset, I was just worried. Because I care about you and... _please_ don't do that again. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry, I just wasn't feeling good at all I guess."

Christian sighs. "It's fine." He grabs her hand reassuringly and rubs his thumb against her knuckles.

 

As soon as 2nd period is over, Adora rushes to study hall to find Bow.

She  _needs_ to tell someone about the dream. She definitely can't tell Catra.

The dream was about her for gods sake.

Adora finally finds Bow walking in the hallway.

"Bow wait! I need to talk to you about something! It's urgent!"

They go into an empty classroom and lean against a bulletin board.

Adora sighs. "I, had a dream last night."

"Okay, so do most people...what was it about?"

Adora looks down at her shoes. " _Catra_."

Catra's been in her dreams before. But never like  _that._

Bow turns to face her. "Is that why you came to tell me specifically and not Catra herself, or Glimmer."

"Yeah. Plus you're not judgy."

"Okay. So, tell me what this dream was about."

Adora takes a deep breath. "It was a...  _sexual_ dream." Adora squeezes her eyes shut to avoid finding out Bow's reaction.

His eyes widen. "Well, who was on top?"

_"Bow!"_

"Sorry! Sorry! Okay, so why is this a problem. People have wet dreams all the time."

"I don't know... I just  _feel_ weird", Adora stammers.

"Well obviously you might feel awkward since Catra's your best friend in all, but sometimes dream's don't even mean anything. They're just a bunch of weird things put together from your subconscious. Maybe you just think about her a lot."

_She does think about Catra a lot..._

"But I have a boyfriend."

Bow shrugs. "Do you have feelings for him?"

"Yeah!" She has to have  _some_ feelings for Christian. He's all she looks for in a guy.

"Do you have feelings for Catra?"

Adora pauses. "No. She's my best friend."

"Then why are you so worked up about all of this?"

"I-I don't know. All I know is that I do  _not_ have romantic feelings for Catra."

Bow sighs. "Are you sure you aren't in denial or something? I'm not saying that you 100 percent like her or anything, but just think about it. Do you want Catra to do whatever she did to you in the dream? And even if you do, you don't necessarily have to have romantic feelings for her. Maybe you just like girls. Just think about it. But don't think too hard either."

Adora groans.

_Why are her feelings so complicated?_

"Thanka for the advice Bow. Could you maybe keep this between us?"

Bow nods. "Yeah. Now come on. I know Catra's looking for you."

 

She thinks about what Bow said. Maybe she does like girls.

_And maybe she doesn't like boys at all._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading <3\. i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! follow me on twitter @/voidlalisa if you want updates on this story or any future ones!


	11. homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra, lauren, adora, and christian go out on a double date for homecoming.

           It's homecoming season and Catra couldn't be happier. She has a kind and caring girlfriend, and an actual support system besides Adora. 

Normally, if Adora didn't have a date, Catra and Adora would go to school dances together and then have a sleepover at Adora's.

But Adora's boyfriend, Christian had the idea to go out to dinner with Lauren and Catra and then go to the dance together. Catra is completely down for it, Adora hates the idea for some reason.

But Catra's looking forward to it. Plus she's been apartment hunting because her birthday's coming up in about a week. She's filled out her petition for emancipation form already.

 

Right now, Adora and Catra are getting their hair and nails done- which Catra is not enjoying so far.

"Come on Catra, this is supposed to be  _relaxing_." Adora says to Catra who is getting her hair washed next to her.

"Well it's not."

"Stop being so dramatic. You're not even getting wet, it's just your hair."

"I still don't like it."

Adora rolls her eyes playfully. "You excited for tonight?"

"Yeah. It's actually really nice having a date for once. You're a horrible dance partner."

Adora gasps and pretends to be offended. "I am not!"

"Yes you are. You literally tripped over your own foot in the middle of a slow dance once." Catra giggles recalling the memory.

She  _giggles._  

Catra laughs a lot, sure. But giggling in a high-pitched tone? That's reserved for times when she's genuinely in a happy state of mind.

Adora swears she can feel her heart grow a couple sizes bigger.

"That was freshman year! Let me live!"

"Don't worry I'll still save you a dance tonight Adora."

...................................................................................................................................................................

They drive back to Adora's house in a comfortable silence.

Until Catra asks her a question about certain problems Adora's purposely been avoiding.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, why are you so against the whole double date thing? We don't have to do it if you don't want to- no pressure and all, but why?"

_Why you ask? Oh, I just had a sex dream about you, and I don't like being intimate or doing little things like that with my boyfriend. Plus I can't watch you and your girlfriend act like a couple right in front of me. Because a tiny part of me wishes it were me. That's all._

"I don't know. I guess I just don't feel up for it? And I'm sorry if I've been acting weird lately. I'm just stressed out." Adora lies.

"It's fine. Thanks for telling me."

She clears her throat. "So, how's the whole emancipation thing going?"

"I sadly can't move out before my birthday because I still need to buy a car and I'm still looking for places in the school district, but the court date is in 2 weeks."

"Has your mom objected?"

Catra sighs. "No. She actually hasn't said anything about it. She hasn't said  _anything_ to me recently."

"At least you're getting out of there."

"Yeah. I kinda don't wanna live alone though..."

"I'll stay over there when I can. We can have a bunch of sleepovers."

"And we can make as many mud pies as we want."

Adora turns her head at a red light and smiles at Catra.

 

 

Catra steps out of Adora's bathroom revealing a maroon suit with a black button-up underneath.

"How do I look?"

"You look  _amazing_. How do you manage to pull off a suit so well?"

Catra shrugs and then smirks. "You look hot."

Adora's wearing a maroon, short, halter dress. "We're matching."

Before Catra can respond, Adora's mom calls them.

"Adora! Catra! Lauren and Christian are here!" 

They head downstairs and everyone takes pictures together.

Adora catches her mom eyeing Catra and Lauren with disappointment a couple of times.

 _Pathetic._ She thought.

But her stomach drops for a second. 

_Hypothetically speaking, if she were gay, would her mom look at her the same way?_

She starts to think about the sex dream again and it makes her stomach churn.

Adora doesn't even hear what's going on around her.

"Hey, Adora? Earth to Adora!" Catra says.

"Huh?" She snaps herself back into reality.

"Your mom wants a picture with just the two of us."

"Oh. Okay."

 

Everyone walks out of Adora's house happy go lucky and laughing except Adora.

She's lost in her thoughts. 

_Again._

_"_ I call shotgun!" Catra practically yells.

Adora looks at Christian who makes his way to the back of her car.

"Sorry." She mouths.

Catra puts her feet up on the dashboard and lets the seat back. "Christian, you might want to be a little careful dancing with Adora. She sucks at it."

"Oh my god Catra, I do  _not._ I keep up with you just fine."

"You two danced together?" Lauren asks.

"Yeah, when neither had dates we would pretty much go to school dances and dance until we physically couldn't anymore. We even slow danced together."

_Oh shit. That sounded kinda gay... Maybe that's why Adora's mom would always ask if she was into Catra after she'd told her about them dancing together._

"And Adora sucked. It's the one thing she can't do."

"You guys sound like a married couple." Christian adds.

"We do not!" They say simultaneously.

"Okay, maybe I see your point..."

 

They arrive at Olive Garden and Adora and Christian sit on the booth side of the table, while Lauren and Catra sit in regular chairs.

Catra, Lauren, and Christian talk about school and Adora nods along, not really invested in the conversation. 

She swings her legs under the table a couple times and accidentally kicks Catra.

"Sorry."

Catra looks up at her and smirks. She kicks Adora back. 

_Why is everything a game or competition with her?_

Despite finding Catra's actions childish, Adora kicks Catra again with a glint in her eye that says, " _it's on"._

They both pretend to be actively listening to whatever Lauren and Christian are talking about while basically playing a game of footsies underneath the table.

Every couple of seconds one of them steals a glance at the other, holding in a laugh.

Catra ends up moving her foot at one point and Adora kicks the table.

Catra starts to laugh.

After a couple seconds Adora joins in.

"Were you two just playing footsie under the table?"

Catra stops laughing for a moment. "Pffft. No."

Lauren and Adora make eye contact for a second until Adora looks down at her food.

_This would be so much better if it were just Catra and I._

.....................................................................................................................................

Some cheerleader and the quarterback of the football team are crowned homecoming king and queen. 

A slow dance song begins but Adora has no idea where Christian is so she idly sips her punch at their empty table.

"Hey Adora. Care to join me?"

Adora looks up to see Catra holding a hand out towards her. "Didn't you say that I suck?"

"I was  _kidding._ Now get up off of your ass and dance with me."

"Don't you think Lauren and Christian are looking for us?"

Catra shrugs. "This is basically our tradition. They'll get over it."

Adora stands up and takes Catra's hand and lets her lead them across the gym.

They start slow, spin each other a couple times- their usual really.

But this time, it's different somehow.

This time, Adora sees just how bright Catra's mismatched eyes are. 

This time, Catra sees how Adora's eyes match the color of clear, light blue ocean water. And she realizes how nice the sound of Adora's laugh is as she dips her.

This time, it's different. They could dance like this all day. 

And Adora's so caught up in realizing how pretty Catra is, that she doesn't realize Lauren glaring at her on the sidelines.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading and leaving comments!! and season 2 was short but really interesting, but that cliffhanger...


	12. confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's catra's birthday and lauren confronts adora.

          Adora's never really been good with confrontation. She's good at defending the people she loves, sure. But as soon as someone would even accuse her of something she would become anxiety ridden and apologize profusely, even if she didn't really do anything wrong. 

As you can probably guess, that's how it went with Lauren, Catra's girlfriend.

Adora's been trying really hard to get the girl to like her because Catra's her best friend. 

But ever since the homecoming dance she's given Adora dirty looks when Catra's not looking.

But before we explain Lauren's conversation with Adora, let's rewind.

 

At the end of October, Brightmoon High gives a short fall break. They only had a four day week this week, getting out on Thursday October 27th, the day before Catra's birthday. Then they go back on Tuesday November 1st. 

Thursday was pretty normal.

Catra hadn't messed up her ponytail on the way to 3rd period in  _weeks._ Sure Adora may have found it annoying that her hair was messy afterwards, but when Catra stopped doing it she realized that it was kind of endearing.

Now Catra walks with Lauren to their 3rd period and only gives her a simple, " _hey Adora"_ when she sees her. 

But it's fine now. Adora's spending Catra's birthday with her.  And she came up with the perfect gift not too long after homecoming.

When Adora turned 16, her dad gave her his old car as a gift. Now her mom is getting a new car and agreed to give it to Adora since it's a newer model than her Dad's. Instead of selling the car her Dad gave her, she had a better idea. 

Catra doesn't have a car. And if her emancipation works out, she's gonna need one.

So Adora's gonna give the car to Catra. She's already filled out one of those gift certificates or whatever so that when Catra signs it, the car will be in her name.

 _Hopefully she doesn't think it's too much,_ Adora thought.

....................................................................................................................................................................................................

When their last period is over and dismissal begins Adora begins to look for Catra so they can drive home together.

But Catra comes up to her instead. "Hey I'm gonna head out with Lauren and hang at her place for a bit. But I'll be at your house by 6. Okay?"

Adora's disappointed to say the least but returns Catra's announcement with a simple " _o_ _kay_ " anyway.

Adora sighs and leaves the classroom.

As she's heading down the hallway she hears Bow running after her.

"Hey! Adora!"

She stops in the middle of the hallway, allowing Bow to catch up.

"Hey, can I get a ride?" Bow says, panting.

"Sure. You want me to drop you off?"

Bow shakes his head. "We can hang out at your place. If you don't have any plans already."

"I don't. Well, I shouldn't for a while anyway..."

 

The car ride is comfortably silent except for a few short, mindless conversations.

When they arrive at Adora's house, Bow sets his bookbag on Adora's kitchen counter top and  sits on a bar stool.

"So, you doing anything with Catra for her birthday?'

"Yeah, she's supposed to be here at six to sleep over. I'm hoping she doesn't cancel."

"Why would she cancel?"

Adora looks down at her feet.

"Ohhh. She's hanging out with that Lauren girl. I don't think she would cancel on you. She seems loyal."

Adora nods.

Bows looks around. "Are your parents like, ever home?"

"Yeah. They just work a lot. Usually until the evening." 

"My dads never let me have people over when they're not home. Sorry for getting off topic. Anyways, back to the important stuff! How's your crush on Catra going?"

Adora almost choked on the air in the kitchen. "W-what  _crush_?"

 _Maybe_ she's a little jealous of all the time Catra and Lauren spend together. And maybe she imagines herself as Lauren sometimes, (just for hypothetical purposes y'know?) but she  _refuses_ to call whatever this is a crush.

"So you still haven't admitted this to yourself..."

"Well there's nothing to admit!"

"Adora, you are  _so_ stubborn. You talk about her more passionately than your  _boyfriend_ for god's sake. You're  _clearly_ and  _hopelessly_ pining for her. And no offense, but it's unfair to Christian."

" _I_ am straight _-"_

_"Ha!"_

Adora rolls her eyes. "Can we just, talk about something else..."

"Yeah, sure. You don't need to feel pressured to tell me anything but, I'm here. And I'm less judgy than Glimmer."

Adora smiles.

"Come on, let's watch a movie or something."

 

They watch about 2 movies before Bow's dad picks him up.

Not too long afterwards, Catra texts her.

_Catra: im outside_

 

 

Adora hurries toward her front door and walks outside to see Catra getting out of Lauren's car.

Catra walks up Adora's driveway. "Hey, isn't this your car?"

 _Shit._ She'd forgotten to drive it into her Garage.

Adora lets out a shaky breath. "Not anymore. My mom gave me her old one."

Catra's fingers run along the sides of the car. "What are you guys doing with it?"

"Check the card on the front."

She picks up the card. "Seller Adora, Buyer Catra.  _Wait._ This is for  _me?_ "

Lauren's eyes shoot up to look at Adora.

"Happy early birthday..."

"Holy shit Adora! Holy fucking shit! I don't even know what to say..."

"I knew you'd need one with your emancipation and-" Adora's cut off by Catra pulling her into a tight hug.

"I love it. Thank you." Catra whispers loud enough for her to hear.

Catra pulls away, her mis-matched eyes still glowing with excitement, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm gonna go put my stuff in your room and  _then,_ I am driving this baby! I've always loved this car."

Catra practically runs inside, leaving Lauren and Adora alone.

She hears Lauren let out a huff of breath. 

Then she hears Lauren laugh.

"What?"

"You know, you could at least  _try_ to be discreet Adora."

"What are you talking about..."

"You like Catra. And don't give me that "she's my best friend" bullshit. Because I have best friends, and I don't look at them like that. And I certainly wouldn't give my car to them, to  _keep,_ as a birthday gift", Lauren says.

She couldn't come up with a line of defense. "I-I'm sorry. I don't wanna make it seem that way I- I'm not trying to take her away from you, I'll back off."

Lauren walks toward Adora. "I know about girls like you. You like to play with other girls feelings, and lead them on, and even  _fake_ your sexuality to make the act more believable."

"I would  _never,_ do that to Catra, so you clearly don't know me." Adora starts to walk back over to her front door but she feels a cold hand grab her wrist and whirl her around.

"Back off, or Catra won't be hanging out with you anymore."

Adora scoffs. Before she can respond to Lauren, she's walking back to her car and quickly drives off.

Catra walks outside almost immediately after she drives away. "Why'd Lauren leave..." She stops to think for a moment and then shrugs it off. "I'll text her. Now come on Adora! I wanna drive this thing around."

 

Adora smiles at the child-like state Catra's in as she runs her fingertips on the car's controls. It's chilly outside but she starts to feel warm and fuzzy-

Adora's smile falters.

_Back off._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all of your feedback!! and sorry i haven't updated in almost two weeks... if i don't finish this story before i get out of school i'll finish it over the summer because i'll have a bunch of free time <33


	13. celebratory mud pies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra spends the night before her birthday at adora's and has a get together with friends, plus her emancipation court date rolls around.

         "Hello? Earth to Adora?...", Catra says, waving her hand in Adora's face to get her attention.

She had been at Adora's for almost two hours now but Adora seemed out of it. 

"Yeah?" Adora responds.

"You good? You seem kinda out of it..."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." Adora lies for what feels like the millionth time.

Catra practically jumps off of Adora's couch. "I have an idea!"

"What?"

"We should make a mud pie! And you have no right to say no since my birthday's tomorrow."

Catra and Adora would make mud pies all the time in elementary school. Leaving muddy footprints all over Adora's house, which kinda resulted in Adora's mom sending her to take piano lessons after school so she didn't have time to play in the mud. Which led to them making mud pies less frequently, and then not at all.

"Uh I don't know. My mom would be  _pissed_. Especially since were like 10 years older now", Adora replies.

Catra scowls and turns to look at her. "Not  _actual_ mud pies dummy", Catra places her index finger on the middle of Adora's forehead causing Adora to cross her eyes and look at it. Catra giggles, "The mud pies made out of Oreos, pudding filling and all of that other shit."

"Oh. Okay. Just let me text my mom and tell her we aren't gonna be here when she gets home."

"You're driving. And I don't want to hear any complaints because-"

"It's your birthday tomorrow. Yeah, I get it. Say it one more time and I'll make a  _real_ mud pie and smash it on your face."

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................

The car ride to Wal-Mart is basically Catra blasting the radio and singing at the top of her lungs, and forcing Adora to join in whenever she can.

They walk over to the area with the grocery carts and Catra starts to climb in.

"I do not want to hear  _any_ complaints. You will do as I say." Catra says in a playful tone.

Adora pushes the cart into the store. "You're really milking this birthday thing huh?"

"Pffft, no. You'd do this for me any day of the week."

"Oh yeah? And why do you think that?"

"Because you love me and I'm your favorite person in the entire world."

Adora feels a blush creep up on her cheeks. "Lies." She gives Catra a light noogie and pushes the cart into the aisles where the ingredients she needs are.

 

 

They go into the toy section after Adora grabs all of the ingredients because Catra asks to. Adora pretends to be annoyed with her constant birthday requests but she doesn't really mind. 

Catra hops out of the shopping cart and plays with a couple of shiny trinkets on the shelves.

" _I,_ Adora, challenge  _you_ to a sword fight." Adora says with a foam sword pointed at Catra, and her eyes squinted with a feign serious look on her face.

Catra rolls her eyes. "Fine. But I'll win."

They swing their swords at each other, fighting in various aisles in the toy section until Catra knocks Adora's sword out of her hand.

Catra blows a few pieces of stray hair out of her face and points her sword at Adora's chest. "Ha! I win."

"Ugh, can't believe I lost to an  _amateur."_

Catra smirks. "Told you I'd win."

"Or maybe I let you win."

Catra pretends to think for a second and scratches her head. "Nah. You just suck."

Adora smiles and shoves Catra with her shoulder as they walk back over to the cart. "Shut up."

 

 

As they walk back into Adora's house they see Adora's mom on the couch.

"Hi girls!"

"Hey mom." Adora places the bags on the kitchen counter. 

"What are you guys fixing?"

"Oreo mud pies", Catra replies.

"I remember when you guys were little you would play in the mud almost everyday."

"Until you sent me to take piano lessons. Which I learned nothing from by the way." Adora adds.

 _They're gonna have to stop talking about me playing in the mud,_ Adora thought.

Because every time it's brought up, all Adora can think about is Catra suggesting they get married and her mom telling her that wasn't how things are supposed to be. Which was also one of the causes of her last panic attack. 

"You're doing that thing again", Catra tells her. 

Adora snaps out of her thoughts. "What thing?"

"Where you look like you're in deep thought and basically detach yourself from reality."

"Oh. Sorry. Did my mom just go upstairs?"

"Yeah. But are you okay? You've kinda been doing that a lot lately."

Adora nods. "I'm fine, I promise. Let's start the mud pie."

They crush up oreos and pour it into the pie crust mold and then work on the pudding filling. Well actually Adora mainly works on the filling while Catra eats some of it off of the spoon.

"Okay. We have four hours until we add the whipped cream and stuff, so what do you wanna do now?" Adora asks.

"We can hang out in your room I guess."

"Okay. I'll put on a movie or something."

"Oh! I need some of your clothes to wear by the way." Catra mentions.

"Why do you never bring anything to wear when you come over."

"Why would I bring my clothes when I can just wear yours." Catra shrugs like there's no problem.

 

 

They watch about two movies in a comfortable silence while lying on Adora's bed until Catra breaks the silence.

"Adora?"

"Hm?" She turns around to face Catra.

"Do you think I should just move out after graduation?"

"Why? You've wanted to do this since like, the seventh grade."

"I know. But maybe I could just stick it out a little longer."

"You're scared aren't you?"

Catra looks down. "Can you blame me..."

Adora sighs and shakes her head. "I can't blame you, I'd be scared too. And I'm really gonna miss you living across the street from me. I'm even gonna miss you climbing up that tree and knocking on my window in the middle of the night. But your mom was  _awful_ to you. And this'll be good for you. I know it'll be kinda scary living alone but I'll be there for you. And I'm sure Lauren will be there you. So don't worry about it."

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'm gonna go talk to my mom for a sec."

 

Her mom is sitting on her shared bed scrolling through her phone when Adora walks in. 

"Y'know mom, you don't have to put up this act around Catra. I saw you giving her dirty looks when we were taking pictures for homecoming."

She looks up. "Adora, just because I don't agree with Catra's lifestyle choices doesn't mean I'm just going to be disrespectful. It's none of my business what she does outside of this house. And she hasn'r made any moves on you so I'm holding my peace."

Adora clenches her fist and then un-clenches it. "I'm not gonna argue about this tonight. But Catra has a court order to get emancipated in about two days and she'd like us to be there."

Adora leaves her mom's room to find Catra sound asleep in hers.

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Catra planned for Adora, Scorpia, Entrapta, and Lauren to go out to lunch and the movies for her birthday. 

Lunch was full of small talk besides a few side conversations between Catra and Adora, and Catra and Lauren.

And let's just say Adora shouldn't have sat next to Catra at the movies.

Lauren's arm being around Catra and them holding hands gave her an ugly feeling in her stomach. Catra suggested that she bring Christian along but Adora lied and said he had plans. 

She regrets saying that. If he were here maybe she could focus on something other than Lauren and Catra. 

After the movie they all mess around at a park and playground her and Catra would always visit as little kids. Adora doesn't say that with Lauren around though.

 

They all play hide and seek for a little bit and afterwards Adora feels someone tap her on the shoulder. 

It's Catra. 

"Tag." She whispers into her ear, leaving Adora shuddering from something else besides the weather. 

"Adora's it!" Catra yells, running across the playground. 

Adora runs after her and it feels like déjà vu. She remembers running after Catra all the time, almost never being able to catch up to her.

 _"How does it feel being the world's slowest person?"_   Catra would say.

She sees Catra stop running and none of the others are in sight.

Adora jogs up to her. "You're cornered. Give it up." She smirks.

Catra turns to face Adora, one hand behind her back. "You wish." Catra throws a handful of wood chips at Adora runs off laughing. "Sorry! There wasn't any mud to throw!"

Catra stops running for good and allows Adora to catch up.

"Hey Adora, you know, it's my birthday and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't-"

Adora interrupts her by tacking her in the grass.

They both roll around in the slightly wet grass and dirt giggling, wrestling, and pulling at each other's hair. 

Adora straddles Catra and Catra laughs. 

"Your mom's probably gonna make you hose off before you go into your house." Catra says and they both fall into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. 

Once again, neither of them noticing Lauren a couple feet away. But she wasn't only glaring at Adora this time. 

She was glaring at Catra too.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The court ends up confirming Catra's emancipation.

Adora and her mom wait for Catra outside of the courtroom later on that afternoon. 

And as soon as she comes out Adora pulls her into a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so happy for you. But I'm also gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too. Don't tell anyone."

Adora smiles. "I won't. I promise."

"Would you like to join us for dinner, Catra?" Her mom asks. 

"Later. First I have to go over to Lauren's to give her the good news." She starts to back away. "Adora, I'll text you!" Catra waves and starts to walk toward the exit doors.

"Is Lauren the one she went to homecoming with?"

"Yeah."

Adora turns around and he gaze lingers on Catra, who just walked out of the courthouse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed! i'm finally out of school so this story will be updated more often and i also have plans for another AU!   
> twitter: voidlalisa  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy


	14. weird changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's january now and catra's settled into her apartment. she spends a lot more time with lauren while adora tries spending one on one time with christian more often.

       A little over two months pass by and Adora sees Catra a lot less now that she doesn't live across the street anymore. Catra has a car so there's no reason for Adora to drive her to and from school, and Adora feels kind of  _empty_. 

Sure they text each other a lot, Facetime and Skype, and talk at school but she never realized just how easy it was to hang out with someone that lives across the street from you. 

Adora  _could_ try to hang out with Catra more often but maybe a little space is good. She could spend a little more time with Christian- who surprisingly hasn't dumped her yet, and hang out with Glimmer and Bow. 

Plus Catra's been hanging out with Lauren a lot, or at least that's what her Instagram account has proven. And no matter how jealous she may be over Lauren's relationship with Catra, she wants Lauren to like her. Lauren makes Catra happy and that's all Adora  _really_ wants.

But that doesn't stop her from thinking about Catra all the time. In fact, she thinks about Catra a lot more when they spend time away from each other.

Which she really needs to stop doing. 

So Adora pulls out her phone and texts Christian.

 

 **to christian** :  are you free this evening?

 **christian:** yeah! wanna come over to my place?

 **adora:** sure, i'll be there at 4 :)

 

A lot of changes are taking place for Catra. She lives in her own  _apartment_ now and she's completely in charge of herself. 

And it's really weird. 

It's weird to not be able to look out her bedroom window and see Adora's house. It's weird to not have her shitty mom around, and its  _really_ weird to spend most of her time with a person that's not Adora. 

When her and Adora were little, Catra would call herself an "Adora person". 

Because despite Adora having the tendency to be awkward as hell, she was still likeable. It's basically a part of her charm. She made friends super easily.

Catra on the other hand was (and still is) closed off and very selective about the people she let into her life. 

 

_Catra hates going to school._

_She didn't attend Pre-k because she wouldn't do her work and she was uncooperative with the teachers. She went to class for a couple weeks at the most and then her mom removed her from the class and taught her the basics of Pre-Kindergarten at home._

_But she had to go to Kindergarten. At least that's what her mom says._

_That didn't stop her from trying to get out of it though._

_She would kick and scream in the carpool lane and refuse to get out of the car. Her mom would be forced to walk her to her class and even then Catra would have to be dragged there while she'd pull on her mom's clothes._

_It never worked and she would always get in trouble at home but she still tried._

_Catra would play alone and never talk to anyone except for her lunchtime._

_Everyday during lunch this girl with blonde hair and a ponytail would sit next to her. She would talk about random things and Catra would listen but she wouldn't respond._

_It went on for a bout a week before Catra said something._

_Catra turns to face the girl with the blonde ponytail who's currently unwrapping her sandwich from it's aluminum foil. "Why do you sit next to me everyday?"_

_"Because you're my friend." The girl says like it doesn't mean anything._

_Catra sees the blonde girl play with almost everyone in the class at recess. She never plays with her so how are they friends?  
_

_"You never play with me outside, you don't know my name, and you didn't ask if I wanted to be your friend." Catra responds._

_"I don't play with you outside because you're always doing something on your own. Your name is Catra, I saw it on your name tag! And I'm sorry I didn't ask you first. So I'll ask now. Do you wanna be my friend?"_

_"Fine. But only if I can have your Doritos."_

 

Despite Catra being difficult sometimes, Adora stuck by her side. No matter how many new friends she made, she made time for Catra.So that's how Adora was considered to be a "people person", while Catra was only fond of Adora so she called herself an "Adora person."

And since Catra was an "Adora person" for so long, it's weird to not be around her most of the time. 

It's not a bad thing, it's just  _weird._  

 

Catra walks out of her bedroom to see Lauren sitting on the couch she just got. 

She looks over at a box in the corner of the room labeled _"CHILDHOOD MEMORIES"_.

"Hey Laur, you wanna help me go through that box?"

 

Lauren and Catra go through the box and it's filled with knick-knacks, drawings, birthday cards, and pictures of all sorts. Most of which are from Adora.

Catra picks up a birthday card with a large number thirteen on the front and opens it. 

 

_Dear Catra, you're 13!! That's so cool. You're a teenager now!! Soon you'll be driving and then we can travel the world together. I hope you enjoy the present I got you. I saved up all of my money for it. Anyways, I hope your day is AMAZING._

_Love you :)_   
  


_-Adora_

 

 

Catra smiles. "I remember Adora saved up all of her money to buy me professional art supplies because I really wanted them."

"I love how nearly everything in this box has something to do with Adora." Lauren says, looking at the piles of stuff around them.

Catra sighs. Everything in her relationship with Lauren is almost perfect. Except her and Adora's friendship. "We've been best friends since Kindergarten. We were practically joined at the hip", Catra shrugs.

"You still are."

Catra shakes her head. "I haven't hung out with her that much since I moved."

Lauren laughs. "Please, you two have hung out about five times in the past two months. Sounds pretty normal to me. And you text each other all the time."

"Is this another conversation where you ask me if I have feelings for Adora? Because my answer hasn't changed and it never will."

"Actually, it's not. I don't mind you guys' friendship. You've known each other forever, you grew up together, I get it."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Lauren reassures her.

Catra's ears perk up and she smiles. She leans toward Lauren and caresses the side of her face, pulling her into a kiss.

 

Adora lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding in before she knocks on Christian's front door.

A girl a few inches shorter than her with golden brown hair, and green eyes exactly like Christian's, answers. She remembers Christian mentioning a little sister a couple of times.

"Ahh. You must be Adora. Come in!" The girl opens the door completely and steps aside, allowing Adora to walk inside.

"Christian's upstairs." She says before walking towards the steps. "Christian! Adora's here!" 

Almost immediately after she calls him Christian is rushing down the stairs. "Hey! Adora this is my little sister Lilly, I've talked about her a couple times."

Lilly folds her arms. "I gotta admit, I didn't expect her to be this pretty. She's kinda out of your league."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Come on Adora, we can hang out in the den."

 

Christian shows her around the den and then takes her over to a lounge area where there's a large flat screen TV on the wall. 

"I feel like we barely spend one on one time together, all we really do is go to parties together and stuff. For example, you taking me to spend time with your friends Glimmer and Bow on New Year's Eve." Christian says as he secures a spot on the couch next to her.

"I'm sorry. I had my own stuff going on and I guess I'm not the best at relationships..."

Christian gently places his hand on her thigh and she forces herself not to move her leg. "It's okay. We should just work on it. So, how's it been when we're not spending time together?"

Adora sighs. "My best friend, Catra, got emancipated. She moved into an apartment about fifteen minutes away from my house and it's weird not seeing her almost everyday."

Christian nods. "I don't have any friendships  _nearly_ as close as you and Catra's so I can't really relate, but I kind of understand."

"Well that's basically the only big event that's taken place recently. What's been going on with you?"

Christian shrugs. "Eh. Nothing much. Especially since we're still on break. But before that, really just schoolwork. And I'm not the jock in this relationship so there's no sports I'm worried about."

Adora smiles. "Speaking of sports, Soccer tryouts are actually pretty soon. I think I'm gonna run for team captain again."

Christian leans over to kiss her on the cheek. "And there's no doubt in my mind that you will win."

 

Adora and Christian stay cuddled up on the couch watching TV for a while and Adora doesn't mind it. It's refreshing to just talk about things going on in her life so easily. Lilly ends up fixing dinner for them both and she falls asleep in Christian's arms on his couch.

 

Later on that night Catra picks up a piece of paper that seemed to have fallen out of her pants pocket and turns it over. 

It's a picture of her and Adora of course. 

Except Adora's kissing her on the cheek. She remembers that day vividly. 

They were like 14 years old, at the mall in a picture booth, messing and joking around, doing a bunch of dumb poses. Then Adora places her lips on Catra's cheek for the last picture. Adora apologized a bunch of times right afterward and Catra told her it was fine.

She told her that she _liked  it._

Catra remembers cutting that picture off of the original strip of pictures from the booth and keeping it under her pillow. 

She lies down and brushes her thumb over the picture. Catra places it in the pillowcase of the pillow beside her and quickly falls asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so glad you guys like this story so much <33 i didn't think that many people would like it when i first came up with the idea and all of the positive feedback makes me want to spend a lot more time writing :) i hope you all enjoyed the chapter.


	15. i never really noticed how much i enjoy your company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the second half of junior year has started and adora's birthday is in a week. catra rallies all of adora's friends together to plan a party which causes problems with lauren.

         The first week back at school was boring and uneventful for Catra. She gets up, drives to school, obviously she'll do her schoolwork then go eat lunch with Lauren, hang out with Adora during third period and study hall, then she'll go home. 

She never really noticed how much hanging out with Adora makes her day. 

For example, driving to school with her every morning. _And_ spending time with her right after school.

It was just refreshing.

When Catra first moved it was easy to not pay attention to these things since she had so much on her mind. But now it's all she thinks about. 

God, if her mom wasn't such a toxic person to be around she could really be living her best life huh? 

Not that her life isn't good right now, she just doesn't feel complete.

Lauren threw her a party about a month after she moved in (like she'd promised on their first date) and apparently Adora couldn't make it. The party was still fun but she still wanted her there. After all, Adora did do the research about minors getting emancipated when she first found out how Catra's mom would treat her. It was kind of important to her.

And she would spend countless date nights with Lauren with one thought lingering the back of her mind. 

_I wonder what this would be like with Adora._

 

Catra wakes up before her alarm rings Monday morning so she's out of her apartment early. 

She really didn't feel like going to school early so she just drove around, not really knowing where she was headed until she pulled into her old neighborhood.

Catra parks in front of Adora's house and sighs. She picks up her phone and checks the time.

 

_6:55 A.M._

 

Adora's alarm will ring in about 5 minutes. 

She gets out of her car and walks over to the tree next to Adora's window. Catra begins to climb up the tree and once she reaches the window level she perches down on a thick branch.

Catra reaches her arm out and knocks on the window a few times. 

No more than a minute later Adora is opening her curtains and pushing the window open. 

Adora gives her a hand, allowing her to step inside.

"Did you really drive over here at seven in the morning and climb up to my window  _just_ to see me?" Adora asks with a smug look on her face.

"I really shouldn't admit up to this because I know it'll go straight to your big head, but  _yes_ I did."

"You missed me didn't you?" Adora smiles.

Catra groans. "Don't be weird about it."

"Ok, Ok. I won't... as long as you admit that you missed me!"

Catra buries her face in her hands. "Fine I missed spending time with you. Happy now?"

"Very."

 

They both head downstairs as soon as Adora's dressed. 

Adora starts pulling things out of cabinets while Catra sits down on the counter and swings her legs back and forth.

"Did you eat breakfast?" She asks.

"Yeah." Catra replies absentmindedly.

"What did you eat?"

"Ice cream."  

Adora turns around and gives her a look. "You can't eat Ice cream for breakfast!"

"Yeah you can. I just did."

"Catra, it's unhealthy and not a very good food to start your day with. What do you eat for lunch and dinner?"

"Um I don't eat lunch that often and if I do it's like a soda and chips or something. For dinner I eat Ramen or takeout."

"Catra!"

"What? Don't college kids eat like that all of the time?" 

"That doesn't make it _healthy!_ " Adora exclaims. "Plus you're already naturally bony, and college kids will go home and get home cooked meals, and you can't do that!" Adora rambles with genuine concern in her voice.

"Adora calm down. I just suck at cooking and I'm always in a rush to leave my apartment so I'll eat whatever I can find the quickest." She doesn't want to worry Adora. But it's also kind of endearing to know that she cares so much about her.

Her own mother wasn't even concerned when she'd miss meals. But here Adora is, taking time out of her own morning to make her breakfast just because Catra's irresponsible.

They stay silent for a couple minutes.

"Can you teach me how to cook?" Catra blurts out.

"I thought you'd never ask."

 

Adora's birthday is January 19th. 

Catra asked her on their way to school if she knew what she wanted to do and she said no. Then she had the perfect idea.

A surprise party. She could plan a surprise party with a couple of Adora's friends.

Catra opened Instagram immediately after coming up with the idea and created a group chat.

 

 **Catra to Glimmer and Bow:** i need you guys' help with something for adora's birthday.

**Glimmer is typing...**

**Glimmer:** oh so the mangy cat is texting me now. great.

 **Bow:** calm down glim. what's up catra?

 **Catra:** i wanna throw a surprise party for adora. her birthday's on the 19th so we don't have much time.

 **Bow:** i'm in! i love a good party. we can do it the weekend after her birthday.

 **Glimmer:** i guess i'll help since it's for adora...

 **Glimmer:** omg we should all act like we forgot her birthday on monday and then she'll be so surprised when she sees the party we threw for her!!

 **Bow:** i'll tell mermista and perfuma

 **Bow:** wait. don't you guys think adora would figure out we're up to something??

 **Bow:** all of her friends forgetting her birthday doesn't sound like a very believable coincidence 

 **Catra:** nah. adora's kinda dumb

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Adora drives Catra back to her house after school.

 

"Hey I gotta few errand to run so I can't stay over this evening." Catra says as they get out of the car. 

She's really just going to a Cafe to plan out more details for Adora's party with Glimmer and Bow.

"Oh, Okay." Adora was kind of disappointed but she didn't say anything. "I'll come over to your place to teach you how to cook if you're free."

"Yeah, I'm free. And I don't think you've seen my apartment since it's been finished. Yeah, no you haven't since you couldn't make it to that party. It looks good though, Lauren's a neat freak and doesn't like my apartment being messy."

Adora gives her a puzzled expression. "What party?"

"Lauren threw a small party for me over Thanksgiving break after I moved in. She said she invited you but you couldn't make it..." Catra felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Maybe I just didn't get the message or something. Sorry I didn't come."

"Yeah. Maybe the message didn't go through." Catra agreed.

But they both had a strong feeling that the invite not going through wasn't the case.

"Hey, before you go..." Adora walks toward Catra and pulls her into a hug.

Catra's tense at first but she eventually loosens up and awkwardly hugs Adora back. 

"What was that for?" She asks as Adora pulls away.

She shrugs. "I haven't hugged you in a while."

"Ok  _weirdo_ ". Adora laughs. "I should get going."

Adora nods. "See you tomorrow."

 

Catra asks Lauren to meet her at her apartment after she gets back from the Cafe with Glimmer and Bow. 

 

During her meet with Glimmer and Bow they come up with a place to have the party and a few other details.

Now, Catra has to deal with Lauren blatantly  _lying_ to her. 

 

"Hey. Where were you?" Lauren says nonchalantly as Catra walks in.

"I was planning a surprise party for Adora with a few of her friends." Catra sighs and places her keys on the counter.

"That sounds about right."

"Y'know, it always seems like I'm walking around egg shells with you nowadays.  _Every, single, time,_ Adora is mentioned you have an issue."

Lauren stands up. "Can you blame me? Have you seen the way she is around you? For fucks sake Catra, she got you _a car_ for your birthday."

"It was a hand me down..." Catra says quietly.

"Still! Can't you see she's messing with your head? She's trying to come between us!"

Catra squints at her. "Well I could say the same for you! Was Adora really not able to come to that party, or did you just say that."

Lauren stays silent.

"Wow. Have you said anything else to her?"

Lauren stays silent again.

Catra's eyes widen. "Are you kidding? What did you say? When did you say this?"

"When I drove you over to Adora's the day before your birthday. I told her to back off."

"Adora is my  _best friend._ She was there for me when no one else was and I'm gonna let you try and drive her out of my life just because you're jealous and controlling. I think it's best if you leave for the night Lauren."

"Yeah." Lauren nods. "But I want you to remember everything you just said when she leaves you."

Catra wraps her arms around her chest as Lauren leaves and feels tears well up in her eyes.

_"But I want you to remember everything you just said when she leaves you."_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates are gonna be coming a lot quicker now since it's summer break for me. thank you guys for all of the comments, i enjoy reading them <3 these next chapters are gonna have a lot more action btw :)  
> twitter: voidlalisa  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy


	16. birthday songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora's birthday rolls around and catra realizes her true feelings for adora.

        Catra didn't talk to Lauren for the rest of the week. But honestly, Catra thinks it's for the best. 

Maybe they need a little time apart. They can both process things, and Lauren can sort out her jealousy issues.

Sure, that meant Catra sitting alone at lunch again but she decided to focus on the good things. She continued working on the drawing of Adora she started at the beginning of the year and plans on giving it to her as one of her birthday gifts. After that, she started writing a song.

 

Saturday rolled around pretty quickly. 

Catra's still in bed when Adora comes over. So Adora takes Catra's spare key from under her doormat and lets herself in.

"Catra..." Adora taps her on the shoulder.

"Unngh. Can I have 5 more minutes?" Catra drawls out and rolls to the other side of her bed.

"Catra it's literally noon."

She doesn't respond.

"Oh my god there's literally a mouse in your room!" Adora yells.

Catra jumps up out of the bed, her ears and tail perking up. "WHAT? WHERE?"

Adora nearly doubles over laughing. "God, that never gets old."

"Says  _you._ " Catra sits back down on her bed. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"Key under the doormat."

Catra groans. "Dammit."

"Really Catra? That's literally the first place someone would look. Anyways, you need to hurry up and get dressed because  _we_ have cooking to do."

Catra rolls her eyes and tries to act annoyed, but it comes out halfheartedly. She's actually looking forward to doing this with Adora. Sue her.

 

Catra makes her way over to the kitchen after she gets ready. She finds Adora taking everything out of her refrigerator and pantry.

" _This_ is what you eat everyday?" Adora gestures toward the food she placed on the counter.

"Yes."

"This is a death wish!"

"Okay, now you're being dramatic-"

"Say you got up before noon, before I got here. What would you eat?" Adora interrupts.

Catra looks at the assortment of Doritos, ice cream, frozen food packages, and old takeout on the counter. _Okay so maybe this isn't very healthy._ "Frozen food..."

Adora picks up one of the frozen food boxes. "This one expired in November. Catra, you can't eat things like this all of the time! Not with soccer season coming up, and it's just unhealthy."

Soccer tryouts are next month and they've always made it onto their cluster's team since elementary school. This year the season was moved to spring instead of fall though so Catra wasn't going to be on the school's track team, which she would normally do in the springtime.Training for track and soccer, and also going to practices would help Catra maintain her build. Despite almost never eating healthily.

"Sorry..." Her ears flatten.

Adora sighs. "You have to take better care of yourself. But that's what I'm here for! Trust me, this is gonna be so much fun!"

 

Adora throws out all of the food Catra had in her pantry and fridge and replaces it with the fruit, vegetables, and other items they bought at the grocery store. 

She teaches Catra how to cook a bunch of breakfast items, such as eggs, pancakes, biscuits, and bacon. She also shows her a few home cooked meals her mom has made. 

 

"Why do you like cooking so much anyways?" Catra asks while idly tapping her nails on the table. Adora's still in the kitchen.

"I actually don't know. I guess I like following the precise directions and being able to do it perfectly. But I love how happy it makes other people. Like how happy you looked those times I brought you breakfast in bed on your birthday."

 _How the hell is she so selfless?_ Catra watches Adora's eyes shine and how her face slowly grows into a smile as she talks about cooking and helping out her friends and family in general. 

She swears she feels her heart grow a couple sizes. 

Catra takes a mental note to remember to add that in her song.

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Adora wakes up Monday morning and immediately facetimes Catra. 

"Guess what day it is?" Adora asks right after she answers.

"Monday."

"And..." Adora adds,

"The nineteenth of January."

"Yeah, duh! But, there's a  _very_ special event that takes place today."

"I do have a math test today. But that's not special at all."

Adora frowns.

 

She doesn't take her conversation with Catra about her birthday to heart. She pulls jokes and pranks like that all of time.

Plus her parents still wished her a happy birthday. 

But the day goes on and she hears nothing. Nothing from Christian, Bow, Glimmer, Mermista, Perfuma, not even Catra.

_They couldn't have forgotten. They wouldn't._

 

Catra meets Glimmer and Bow in an empty class room during study hall.

"Should we really continue this? I feel so  _bad."_ Bow says.

"Yeah, everytime I've seen her today she's looked like sad, kicked puppy." Catra adds.

"Ugh, you guys are a bunch of wusses. This is just gonna make the look on her face when she sees the party even better." Glimmer replies.

"Jeez Glitter. You're fucking  _cold._ I like it."

 

It was Glimmer's idea to avoid Adora as much as possible for the rest of the week in order to prevent her from asking anyone about her forgotten birthday.

 

Meanwhile Adora tries to convince herself to think nothing of it, and that her friends and boyfriend have a lot going on.

 

Catra, Bow, and Glimmer meet up throughout the week, finishing minor details for the party. Glimmer's aunt Castaspella owns a Cafe that has a bar, which is where the party is being held. Bow ordered a half Vanilla and half Chocolate birthday cake for Adora, while Catra bought decorations in all of her favorite colors and picked out Adora's favorite songs so that they would be played at the party. 

With one additional song, written by herself.

She also told Adora's parents their plan and to drive Adora to the Cafe on Saturday evening.

Speaking of Adora, she's as clueless as ever. Just as Catra predicted.

* * *

It's Saturday afternoon and Catra's gathering presents and decorations when she hears a knock on her door.

She looks through the peephole and inwardly groans.

_Now is not the time..._

"Lauren, what are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize."

They both stand there awkwardly for a few moments.

"Well, apologize. I've got somewhere to be."

"Catra, I'm sorry. What I said to Adora was wrong, and it wasn't my place. And I  _never_ should have said those things to you. I truly am sorry."

She sighs. "I forgive you. But not completely. You lied to me for  _months._ It's gonna take more than one apology for things to be okay. And you need to apologize to Adora. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help set up a party."

"I understand. But I can help with the party..." Lauren smiles hopefully.

"Fine. Come on or we're gonna be late."

 

The decorations turned out nice. Gold and other pastel colored balloons hung from the ceiling, along with matching streamers. Adora's cake was placed in the of the bar table in the back of the Cafe and a variety of snacks were placed on each side of it, with a string banner that says _"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADORA"_ above it. Perfuma even put small flower bouquets on the tables on the sides of the Cafe.

 

Catra has no doubt in her mind that Adora will love it.

 

Adora stares out the window blankly as her parents drive her to some Cafe they're supposed to be eating at together. Her parents insisted for her to go, even though she really doesn't want to. It's been a long week.

First, practically everyone forgets her birthday. Now all of her friends are avoiding her for no reason.

 _Best birthday ever,_ She thought. 

Her parents pull up to the Cafe.

"You go ahead, we'll meet you in there." Her dad says.

Adora exits the car and almost slams the car door shut. 

She looks up at the Cafe sign before walking in.

_Huh. Glimmer's aunt owns this place. How ironic._

 

All of the lights are turned off when Adora walks in so she flips the light switch next to the door.

Before she's able to register her surroundings, every single one of her friends jump out from places around the Cafe yelling, "SURPRISE! Happy Birthday Adora!"

Tears of joy well up in her eyes. Then a Taylor Swift song she was obsessed with when she was 11 begins to play. Adora shakes her head.

_Catra chose that._

Bow and Glimmer pull her into a bone crushing hug. 

"I'm sorry! We never forgot your birthday, this entire thing was Glimmer's idea!" Bow yells over the music dramatically.

Adora giggles. "It's okay."

Catra walks up to her as Bow and Glimmer walk away. "Hey Adora. Did ya really think I'd just completely forget your birthday?"

"Catra..."

Glimmer rushes back over towards them. "Oh! This entire party idea was hers by the way. She created a group chat with Bow and I and everything. Maybe she's not as bad as I thought."

Adora turns back towards Catra. "Wait, you planned this entire thing?"

"I mean, it definitely wasn't all me. Your friends helped with finding a place and your cake. It was only my idea."

"I don't even know how to thank you, no one's ever done anything like this for me before..."

"Don't get all mushy on me, Adora. Not yet at least, the night has only begun! And this is for you." Catra pulls a golden necklace with a sword pendant out of her jacket pocket. 

"God Catra, you tell me not to get all mushy on you and yet..."

Catra cocks her head to the side. "Do you like it? I saw it and I thought of you."

"I _love_ it. Can you put it on me?"

Catra nods. Adora turns around and moves her ponytail to the side. 

She clasps the necklace around Adora's neck. "There. I have two more presents for you later."

 

About an hour passes by and Adora dances for a bit with Glimmer and Bow but she hasn't scene Catra since she gave her the necklace.

They sing Happy Birthday, eat cake, and even open presents. She opens a very detailed drawing of herself in a picture frame from Catra labeled,  _"Princess Adora"._

But Catra's still nowhere to be seen. 

Suddenly the music stops and everyone's turning their attention to a small stage in the front. 

Which Catra is standing on by the way. 

"This one's for the birthday girl, my best friend in the entire world, Adora."

Adora's jaw basically drops. She didn't even  _know_ that Catra could sing. Yet she wrote an entire song about her.

_get yourself an adora_

_someone who's eyes shine when she talks about what she loves_

_go get yourself an adora_

_who's smile will make your heart grow several sizes_

Adora doesn't even realize that she's crying.

_an adora,_

_she'll always love you cause that's just who she is_

_and you can't help but hate her for it._

_but that's a lie._

_it's why you love her._

_so get yourself an adora,_

_she'll be your best friend,_

_your companion_

_and expect nothing in return._

_and that annoys you,_

_but that's just who she is._

_you'll hate her for it,_

_but that's a lie_

_cause your heart grows even more..._

_get yourself an adora_

_you'll really love her,_

_and she doesn't know that she's perfect the way she is._

 

Everyone claps and cheers. Adora rushes over to Catra as soon as she gets off of the stage and wraps her arms around her.

She sniffles into Catra's shoulder. "Y'know, I think that might be the best birthday gift I've ever received."

Catra, who also has tears in her eyes, laughs. "Oh yeah?"

Adora nods vigorously. 

 

Catra drives back to her apartment with Lauren in silence, the night's events replaying over and over again in her head. 

She's barely stepped foot into the apartment when Lauren snaps at her.

"I really wish you would stop blatantly lying to me about Adora."

Catra shuts the door. "If you're gonna start with this again you should just leave."

"You get mad at me for not telling you about things that happened in October and November when  _you_ have been lying throughout our  _entire_ relationship. You're in love with Adora just admit it. Don't even try denying it when you literally just serenaded her with a love song!"

Catra freezes. She thinks about how she hated Adora being in relationships, and their homecoming dance, and driving to her house at six in the morning just because she missed her. And most recently, how she subconsciously wrote a love song about her.

"Lauren I-"

She feels a sharp pain against her cheekbone before she can finish her sentence. Catra places a shaky hand on her face. "I-I'm sorry. Lauren I think it's best if we-"

Lauren laughs. "After all of this you're gonna dump me. When I'm the  _only_ one that's been there for you? I found you likeable remember? I loved you when your own mother wouldn't.  I put up with your bullshit, now you're gonna put up with mine. Because that's what you do for the people you love. And Adora doesn't love you." Lauren strokes Catra's cheek. "I do."

Catra feels like her head is spinning. She just figured out that she's in love with Adora, but she knows Adora doesn't love her like that back. According to Lauren, Adora doesn't love her at all. And apparently Lauren loves her, yet she just slapped her in the face. She feels like she doesn't truly know anything.

Except that she's totally, and utterly, _screwed._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading and leaving comments!  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy  
> twitter: voidlalisa


	17. i've been needing you a lot lately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora gets ready for soccer try-outs with christian, catra's relationship with lauren becomes increasingly manipulative.
> 
> tw///
> 
> implied abuse

          Adora and Catra have tried out for their high school's soccer team every year since freshman year. They obviously always made the team but this year it's different. 

This year they're trying out for the varsity soccer team instead of junior varsity. And the pressure is on since last year's varsity soccer girls were undefeated.

But Adora's determined to make the team, become team captain,  _and_ ensure that the team is undefeated once again. 

She's been training after school everyday for the past week along with Catra but Catra hadn't been on her game. She'd been very jumpy and it seemed that she wasn't very focused on training at all.  Catra's kicks were sloppy, and her kicks were never sloppy. It had even gotten to the point where Adora beat her when they were running across the field which never happens.

Adora obviously asked her if something was wrong and why she clearly wasn't focused, but Catra brushed it off as her being tired. 

They're supposed to get smoothies and train today so Adora's gonna try to see if something's wrong. 

 

 **adora to catra:** you still up for training today?

**catra is typing...**

**catra:** something came up. sorry.

 **adora:** it's fine. i'm here if you need anything!

 

 _Great. Now Catra's bailing on training._ Adora thought. 

She needs a partner to train with. 

_Glimmer?_ _No she wouldn't want to do that._

_Bow? He said he's busy this weekend._

_Christian!_

 

 **adora to christian:** wanna help me train for soccer season and grab a smoothie?

 **christian:** sure!

 

As Adora predicted when they first entered the field, Christian isn't the best partner. He's supportive, sure. But he isn't what she  _needs._ What she needs is Catra, (when she's at the top of her game) pushing her and running along side her.

_It seems that she needs Catra a lot nowadays..._

After training her and Christian grab smoothies.

"Why did you ask _me_ to train with you today?" Christian asks as they sit down at a table.

Adora sighs. "Well, Catra, who I would normally do this with, couldn't come for some reason. After I found that out I decided to ask you since this could be, I dunno prime bonding time? Also I really needed a partner for the drills."

"If we go back to your place we can have prime _make-out_ time..." Christian says with a growing smirk on his face.

Adora laughs nervously. "Yeah, totally..."

 

So, Adora has recently figured out that if she keeps her eyes open when she's kissing Christian it's... bearable.

She can see what's going on and she feels completely in control of the situation. Plus it's less  _icky_ that way. She could pick an object around her and focus on it, instead of focusing on kissing Christian.

But no matter how hard she tried, there would always be a lingering thought in the back of her mind that it doesn't feel right being with Christian and that it never would.

 

Christian pulls away completely and looks at Adora. "Were your eyes open?" He asks with a small smile on his face.

" _Pfft_ no. I just opened my eyes before you did. You wanna watch a movie?"

 

Catra promised that she would train with Adora for the upcoming soccer season and she did. Just not today.

Lauren had approached her earlier telling her about this bar downtown she wanted to go to. Catra told her she already had plans that involved training for soccer try-outs but that obviously didn't go well. 

Lauren assumed she was training with Adora (which she was) and basically forced her to go to the bar because of "how badly Catra treated her". 

And well, Catra does feel bad. She wasn't necessarily disrespectful to Lauren, but she felt bad about the incidents with Adora. She felt bad because for some odd reason, Lauren  _loves_ her. And Catra loves Adora. 

Who would never love her back.

But Lauren's been really difficult since Adora's party a week ago. She'd been forceful with almost everything and it felt like Catra was walking around eggshells with her everyday. 

She hadn't been very violent though. Which Catra had been afraid of since she slapped her last week. 

Lauren grabbed her wrist a couple of times though. Leaving small round bruises on both of her wrists.

She feels as if alarms are ringing in the back of her head, telling her that she's treading dangerous territory. She even feels that the situation with Lauren is slowly starting to remind her of her relationship with her mom's.

But an even larger part of her mind (that sounds a lot like Lauren's voice) is telling her that she deserves it.

 

Which is how she ended up sitting in a gay bar downtown alone.

Catra has know idea where Lauren is. She went to the back about an hour ago and never came back out. 

So Catra's stuck drinking shitty alcohol. Part of her wants to get shit-faced drunk on the alcohol so she doesn't have to sit and dwell on everything going on in her life, while the more rational part tells her that she's gonna regret it in the morning.

Right before she decides to do what the irrational part of her brain says, she gets a text from Lauren.

 

 **lauren:** im spending the night with a friend. hope that's okay. love you.

 

So unless Catra wants to get in trouble for underaged drinking along with a DUI, and maybe even a serious injury on top of all of that, she needs to go home sober.

Which she does. 

 

At some point during the movie they're watching, Christian asks Adora why she's so weird about kissing him. 

"Is it like a religious thing? Are you uncomfortable or something? I just wanna make sure you don't feel forced to do anything you don't want because I-", Christian stops himself.

"No, no it's nothing like that. And it's not personal I swear. It's _me,_ not you. I guess I've just never been good at kissing? I don't know." Adora laughs nervously again. Deep down she knows  _exactly_ why she can't kiss  _any_ guys, not just Christian.

 

Later on that night on Adora's front porch, Christian tells Adora that he loves her. 

 _Say it back you dumbass!_ Her internal voice screams.

"I-I love you too." She gives Christian the most genuine smile she can muster in the moment.

Then he leans into kiss her and she forces her eyes shut. Imagining Catra there instead of Christian.

Adora takes a mental note to do that more often. 

She waves to Christian as he leaves and sighs.

 

_God she's screwed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all of your comments on the last chapter <33


	18. either you're off your game, or you have a crush on me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's finally time for soccer try-outs and lauren's out of town for the week. adora spends the night in catra's apartment.

         Catra can finally breathe. Lauren's out of state for the next week to visit a sick family member, and she can finally do things without Lauren jumping down her throat.

It's like she's  _everywhere._ Her voice echoing in Catra's head all of time and it's super frustrating. Maybe it was okay at first when Lauren was a decent girlfriend, but now? Now, every single belittling thing Lauren has ever said to her is on a constant repeat in her mind. 

_It was the same with her mom._

Maybe she just isn't built for relationships. There's a reason why she hadn't truly been in a relationship before Lauren. 

Lauren could break up with her, and Catra could hopelessly pine for Adora for the rest of her life. As shitty as it may sound, it's way better than being stuck in a relationship with Lauren, where she never knows where she stands.

But Lauren's not here and she can focus on the more important things. Such as Varsity Soccer try-outs. And beating Adora to become the Varsity Soccer team captain.

That also means that she needs to get back to training because try-outs are in three days...

 

* * *

 

 Adora's been training hard on her own. She knows she can make it onto the team but being captain is what she has her heart set on. It'll look good on college applications and her parents won't get off of her back about that. Plus the team captain is basically the star player, she's the one college scouts that are looking for scholarships will be looking at.

She's watched a couple of games online so she's seen what the players are capable of and their strengths. So if Adora keeps that in mind and incorporates it into the one on one games against other players that want to qualify for captain she's got it in the bag. The only girl she should truly be worried about is Catra.

Catra's incredibly fast on her feet and can analyze Adora's movement to steal the ball right from under her.

And Adora doesn't know how to compete with that...

 

Turns out that Catra didn't even need to use her speed and agility to take Adora out. Her appearance was captivating enough.

Catra showed up to try-outs wearing basically the same thing as everyone else. A V-neck athletic shirt, shorts that stopped right above the knee, long socks, and cleats. And her hair was pulled into a big messy ponytail.

Yet as soon as she was with her on the field, that was all Adora could focus on. 

When Catra was on offense and focused on the ball, Adora was staring at the freckles near the creases of her mismatched eyes.

That was the first point she lost.

The next point she lost was just out of Catra being faster than her. Nothing new.

But when Adora was on offense and Catra was behind her on defense, the game was basically over.

 _"Hey Adora, I think you've got something I want."_ Catra said loud enough for only Adora to hear.

That's when Adora knew this wasn't going to be a game she won.

She should be mad at herself for basically throwing away one of the easiest ways to get a spot into a good college. Or even mad at Catra for taunting her but she couldn't bring herself to it.

 _There's always next year..._ Adora thought.

Catra beat the rest of the girls and Adora wasn't surprised. She was quite proud of her best friend. So unless the Varsity Soccer coach saw a load of potential in one of the other players, Catra is undoubtedly the new team captain.

 

Catra walks up to Adora, chugging down a bottle of water after try-outs are over.

"You did great captain." Adora pretends to salute to Catra.

"Thanks. But  _you_ were distracted out there."

Adora rolls her eyes. "Well maybe if you weren't  _taunting_ me in the middle of the game..."

"Hey, I do that all the time when we train together. Either you were off your game, or you have a crush on me", Catra replies nonchalantly.

Adora's eyes widen and she feels her cheeks start to burn for some odd reason.

Catra laughs at this. "Chill out dude. I'm just fucking with you." Catra shoves her shoulder playfully.

 

Adora had a gut feeling she wasn't just off of her game.

 

The next day at school Catra asks if she wants to sleepover at her place on Saturday. Adora had actually signed up for one of those practice test sessions for SATS/ACTS on Sunday morning but it was Catra so she couldn't resist.

* * *

 

Adora's not sure how she ended up here. 

She arrived at Catra's pretty early in the morning, and made both of them breakfast. They had their usual playful banter and teasing. Adora made lunch while Catra sat on the counter next to where she stood. They basically ran around Catra's apartment like children, wrestled for a little bit, and somehow ended up in Catra's room on the way.

They were lying on Catra's bed in fits of giggles. And now they're facing each other, both of their faces entirely too close to one another.

 

Catra could feel her eyelids fluttering. Her face is no more than an inch apart from Adora's.

_If I lean in just a little more..._

She feels Adora get even closer.

_Less than an inch._

Suddenly Catra's hyper aware of how close they are and she practically rolls herself off of her bed.

"Um, I'm going to the bathroom." She mumbles.

She walks into her bathroom and stares at herself in the mirror.

" _Idiot._ " She mumbles.

_And I always thought Adora was the dumb one..._

Catra sits on top of her toilet seat and rubs her temples. God, she feels as if she _deserve_ _s_ to be slapped right now.

First of all, she has a girlfriend. Their situation right now is complicated as fuck but she can't just break it off. And Adora has a  _boyfriend_. As far as she knows, Adora's straight. Sure she's had a few...  _moments_ in their friendship where Catra would think a little differently but Adora hasn't really expressed interest in women. 

Catra could here those alarms in the back of her head going off again, saying she's  _once again,_ treading dangerous territory. She could also here Lauren's voice constantly saying,

_Adora doesn't love you._

_Adora doesn't love you._

_Adora doesn't love you._

_Adora doesn't love you._

_When will you see she's just using you?_

_When will you see she's just using you?_

_When will you see she's just using you?_

And what the hell does she look like ruining 12 years of friendship with Adora because she can't keep her emotions in check? It's better to have Adora in her life as a friend, that doesn't love her back, than not having her in Catra's life at all.

So Catra goes back into the room like nothing happened. 

Adora plays along of course.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing a slowburn is so painful ugh... i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy  
> twitter: voidlalisa


	19. almost kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora can't stop thinking about what happened between her and catra, catra finds herself in a scary situation with lauren.
> 
> tw//
> 
> abuse

         Saturday wasn't the only time Catra and Adora almost kissed. When they were at their first homecoming they almost kissed as well. Adora never forgot about it and thinks about it quite often, but she probably can't say the same for Catra.

_"Would it be too cliche if we wore matching colors?" Catra asks while getting ready in Adora's closet._

_"I don't think so. Most couples match at dances so we should be good." Adora replies and adjusts her hair pin._

_It's their first homecoming dance since they're both freshmen in high school now. None of the boys in their grade asked Adora to be their date to homecoming and at first she was kind of upset that none of the guys liked her, but she couldn't really bring herself to care that much. Her mom said she was still in her "awkward phase" and that by next year boys would be lining up to ask her. But she told Catra about it and Catra said she'd be her date. "Well, those guys are all missing out. I'll be your date if you want to homecoming if you want", she said like it was the easiest thing in the world._

_If Catra was a guy she'd totally date her, Adora thought._

_Catra walks out of Adora's closet wearing a white tuxedo with a black button-up underneath. "What do you think?" She asked anxiously._

_It almost perfectly complimented Adora's white skater dress._

_Adora gasped. "You actually got the suit?"_

_"Yep. I just have to make sure your mom doesn't show pictures from tonight to my mom. She still thinks I'm wearing a dress."_

_"I'll make sure. You look great." Adora responded._

_"Thanks, you do too."_

_They arrived at the dance and went straight to the dance floor. A few people stared at Catra since she was wearing a suit instead of a dress but she didn't care._

_Adora was sitting at a table when it came time to slow dance. She didn't really know how to slow dance, plus she was kinda hungry._

_Catra walks over to the table. "Dance with me?"  Catra asks with a hand held out._

_"I don't know how to slow dance. Plus these cookies are like, really good."  
_

_"Come on!" Catra pouts. "We can figure it out. I promise that your food isn't going anywhere."_

_Adora groans. "Fine. But hold on." She shoves another cookie in her mouth before taking Catra's hand._

_"How Charming. Let's dance."_

_Adora places her hands on Catra's shoulders and Catra places hers on Adora's waist._

_"Am I doing it right?" Adora asks._

_"Um, I think so. But you kinda just stepped on my foot."_

_"Sorry!"  
_

_"It's fine. Just relax. Don't put so much thought into it." Catra replies._

_Adora nods. Relax, just like Catra said. She follows Catra's lead, trying her best not to think too much about the steps. Catra spins her and she smiles._

_"See? Now you're getting the hang of it!"_

_They dance until their legs hurt like hell, take a punch break, and then head back over to the dance floor._

 

_After the dance is over, Catra changes at Adora's house and Adora keeps the suit so Catra's mom doesn't find out about it._

_Adora walks out onto her front porch to where Catra is standing, getting ready to leave. "I had a great time tonight."_

_"Yeah, me too."_

_"You really know how to pull off a tux."_

_Catra laughs. "Thanks."_

_They both stay silent for a moment. Catra looks down and taps her feet, a piece of untamed hair falling in her face._

_Without thinking, Adora pushes the hair back behind her ear, and Catra lifts her head up. She simply stares at her blue and gold eyes for a moment. Then she starts to lean in. Her eyes flutter shut._

_Catra leans in too._

_Catra's scent gets stronger as they get closer to each other. Adora can feel a light whiff of Catra's breath on her face when she lets out a small sigh. Their noses are practically touching and-_

_"Adora." Her Dad opens the front door and Adora nearly jumps back._

_At least it isn't my mom..._

_He clears his throat. "Um, Catra's mom is expecting her. You can walk her across the street but hurry. It's getting kind of late." The front door shuts._

_She hopes he won't tell her mom or that he didn't see anything that caused him to raise an eyebrow._

_Adora feels the urge to just grab Catra's face and kiss her, but she doesn't. She doesn't even like girls. And her mom..._

_Instead, she moves on. "I- Uh, see you at school on Monday?"_

_"Yeah." Catra says as she nods._

_Her dad never told by the way. And Catra never brought up what happened again either._

 

Adora wants to scream into her pillow. 

Her and Catra almost kissed.  _Again._

And Catra didn't say a word. To be fair, neither did she but what is she supposed to say? How does she address that when they're both in happy relationships?

She keeps trying to brush it off as an "in the moment" kind of thing but she can't stop thinking about it. God, she didn't even actually  _kiss_ Catra, yet the experience was better than anything her and Christian ever did. 

She thinks about it in all of her classes, even her one with Christian. She was even staring at Catra's lips again in third period. Catra asked if there was food on her face and Adora acted as if it was nothing.

Bow and Glimmer asked why she was so quiet so she lied and said she wasn't feeling well. She just couldn't participate in their gossip when she almost kissed Catra. And if Catra didn't have an abrupt bladder issue it would've happened. If it did happen, what would Adora do? Could she tell Christian? Would she? What about Catra? Does that mean she likes her? 

What would Catra-

Her alarm goes off and she throws her phone across her room. She makes the decision to scream into her pillow.

* * *

 

Catra gets back home to her apartment from school to find dirt and soil all over the front door area. 

She has an extra one of Perfuma's plants from Adora's party next to her front door. She put her spare key at the very bottom.

Now, the spare key's gone.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Catra runs her hands through her hair.

_God, what if someone broke in?_

Catra takes a deep breath and slowly opens the unlocked door. She steps into the apartment and looks around. Nothing's out of place. 

She looks in the living room and finds  _Lauren,_ sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone.

"Lauren what the hell? I thought someone fucking broke into my apartment." 

Lauren laughs. "I wanted to surprise you babe. I got back home really late at night so my parents let me stay home."

"Well it wasn't a good surprise, nor was it funny." Catra sets her school stuff on the table.

"Oh come on. You usually find things like that funny."

"Well it was fucking scary. Plus you trashed my welcome mat."

"I just missed you. That's all." Lauren makes her way to the kitchen.

"I think you should go."

Lauren turns around to face her. "What's this about?"

"What's this about?  _This_ , is about how you treat me. How you fucking  _slapped_ me after Adora's birthday party. And how you grab me all the time and leave bruises all over my wrists. So yeah, you should go."

Lauren walks up closer to Catra until they're only a few inches apart. Lauren looks at her and caresses her cheek.

Catra stands still, almost afraid to move.

Then she feels a sharp pain on her cheek. But her cheek burns as well. She guesses one of the rings on Lauren's fingers cut her face.

Lauren scoffs. "How I treat you? What about how you treated me? How I'm your girlfriend, yet you chose Adora. It was always Adora this, Adora that."

Catra starts moving backward as Lauren moves forward to get closer to her.

"How do you think that made me feel? When all I ever did was love you dearly." Lauren shakes her head. "You  _deserve_ this."

Catra runs around the table, across the living room, and into her bedroom. She locks the door and sits against it.

_Just like mom._

Catra looks around. Her bedroom doesn't have a window, even if it did where would she go? Adora isn't across the street anymore. 

"You're gonna have to come out at some point babe. There's no way out of that drab room of yours. Don't worry. I've got all day."

She needs to get out of here. But how? She couldn't call Adora. That would make Lauren even more pissed, and Adora would do that thing where she gets really worried and concerned. Entrapta's at an after school club...

Scorpia. She can call Scorpia and Lauren would leave. 

Catra sits down inside her closet so that Lauren can't hear her.

"Hey Wildcat! What's up?" Scorpia answers on the first ring.

"Hey, can you come over? Like, as soon as possible?" Catra asks in a hushed voice.

"Sure. But only because this sounds urgent. Want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"No it's fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"I'll see you in ten Wildcat. Peace." With that she hangs up.

_Ten minutes. She can survive this for ten minutes. It'll be fine._

 

Scorpia arrives exactly 10 minutes later. Catra knows this because she couldn't stop checking her phone for the time.

"Hey Lauren. Where's Catra?" Scorpia says sounding muffled due to Catra still sitting in her closet. 

She doesn't hear much of anything else for a minute or two. Then she hears pounding on the other side of her bedroom door.

"Catra! It's Scorpia. You can come out now."

Catra hesitates before letting her in. "Did Lauren leave?"

"Yeah! She said her mom needed her back home."

Catra unlocks the door. Scorpia immediately pulls her into a tight hug. 

"Oh my god, are you okay? Why did you lock the door? Did Lauren hurt you?" Scorpia sits down next to her on the bed.

"No. We got into an argument but she didn't hurt me."

"You're bleeding."

Catra cups her cheek and feels dried up blood. "Papercut. It's a paper cut."

"You got a papercut on your face?"

"Yes Scorpia. I did. Can you quit it with the questions now?" Catra gets up off of the bed and leaves her room. 

Scorpia follows. "Look, you called me all secretively asking me to come over like something's wrong. And then I do come over and you've basically locked yourself in your room and Lauren's outside your door, and I don't know what to think okay? You had me worried, Wildcat."

"I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I'm such a shitty friend and that I only call you when I need you, I'm sorry that I worried you. I won't do it again."

"Catra, I don't care about that. I care about you and your well-being. Yeah sure, you could work on being a better friend. But I know you have problems trusting people and I just want to be here for you. You would know that if you actually texted Entrapta and I in the super pal trio groupchat."

"Really?"

"Yes Catra, I really care about you. And it's okay if you don't want to tell me anything right now. Just know that I'm here and I always will be."

 

Adora doesn't know why she's typing "what does love feel like" in the search bar on her laptop. Maybe it's because she recently told Christian that she loves him. But it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she's been thinking about kissing Catra non-stop since Saturday evening.

According to Google, one "symptom" of being in love is feeling a genuine rush or high when you're with them. She feels really anxious around Christian but you can call that a rush or high I guess. She does feel really giddy around Catra a lot though. 

Another one is, is that you can't get them out of your head. She's been dating Christian since September but she doesn't think about him all that much to be honest. Catra on the other hand, she thinks about her almost every second of the day. From the moment she wakes up, to the minute she falls asleep...

Apparently you also start planning for your future. Since they were kids she's always planned to live with Catra after graduation. They'd apply for a bunch of colleges in the same states and hopefully get offers near each other. If it didn't work out, they'd spend their breaks together and once college was done with they'd travel the world together. While with Christian, she at one point  _wanted_ him to break up with her.

You also have a lot of empathy for someone you're in love with. You want them to be happy,

_Seeing Catra happy makes Adora happy._

You go out of your way for them,

_Giving Catra a car, Driving her to and from school before she got the car, fixing her breakfast, lunch, and dinner..._

You can't keep your hands off of each other,

_holding hands with Catra all of the time, always playfully wrestling and jumping on each other..._

She knows she shouldn't just take what she sees on the internet and apply it to her real life but, it's Catra.

_It's always been Catra hasn't it?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys' comments make writing this story so fun omg. i hope you all enjoyed this chapter <33


	20. denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora tells bow and glimmer about catra and furthers herself in denial, catra tries to take her mind off of lauren.

           Catra is one text message away from leaving the "super pal trio" group chat. It's been a long week for her and all she wants to do is sleep this weekend. But she can't do that with Scorpia and Entrapta blowing up her damn phone.

She actually opens up the app to leave the chat and block them both but she hesitates. Catra scrolls through the messages.

 

 

 **Entrapta:** Would you guys like to come over and hang out this afternoon? A fresh stock of tiny food just arrived at my house as well.

 **Scorpia:** i'd love to! idk about catra though. you know how she is with responding to our messages...

 

Catra frowns. She scrolls through more messages between the two. They talk about her absence in the group a lot. Scorpia often talks about her being worried about her.

 _God I'm such a shitty person._ Catra thought.

Honestly, she just hadn't been up for hanging out very much. Not since Adora's birthday, which is when this entire issue with Lauren arose. That was almost a month ago. She's been in this ongoing cycle with Lauren for almost a month now. 

The past week had beeen one of the hardest. Ever since the incident where she called Scorpia, Lauren would avoid her at school but sent her dirty looks in class. And she'd spam her phone with threatening text messages, but then apologize and tell Catra how much she loves her. That alone was stressful.

The only person she'd genuinely spent time with over the past month was Adora. Which is ironic because she's the cause of Lauren's sudden behavior towards Catra, according to Lauren at least. Adora just always makes her happy somehow. Her presence is enough to change Catra's mood and she's the only person that can cause her to stop thinking about all of her own issues, even if only for a short period of time.

_It's because you're in love with her._

She needs to cut that out. Falling in love with your straight best friend who doesn't love you back? That's the worst heartbreak you could ever endure. But it's also a very avoidable one as long she keeps her stupid emotions in check. 

And as much as Catra would love to avoid these emotions by sleeping all day, she can't. She has to go over to Entrapta's because she doesn't want to deal with being a crappy friend on top of all of her other issues.

 

Adora's been a mess all week. Ever since her she made her shocking revelation about how she feels for Catra, she literally couldn't sit still. It was all she could think about.

Of course she loves Catra, but like _that?_

She can't. It's not an option. That makes everything 100 times more complicated. 

The only people she could think of to help her with this is Glimmer and Bow. Maybe they'll tell her she's wrong, that the internet is full of shit and that she can calm down now.

 

 **Adora to Glimmer and Bow:** GUYS! I NEED YOUR HELP! ASAP!!!!

 **Bow:** omg what is it

 **Glimmer:** okay, everyone meet at my house then. that way we can deal with adora's new crisis together

 

She meets Bow and Glimmer at Glimmer's house and they all sit on her bed, Bow and Glimmer staring at her, waiting for her to spill.

"I think I'm in love Catra!" Adora blurts out and she immediately covers her mouth with her hand after.

"Oh my god!" Glimmer replies.

"I knew it!" Bow yells cheerfully. "How'd you finally figure it out?"

"Well I was on Google looking at what  _love_ feels like. And a lot of the things it said relate to how I feel about Catra, or things I would do for and do _with_ Catra."

"Now you have to tell her." Glimmer says.

Adora shakes her head vigorously. "Absolutely not! She's  _dating_ someone. And I know she doesn't feel the same way about me."

"You don't  _know_ that." Bow adds. "But before you even think about that, what about Christian?"

"I love Christian too."

"Do you  _really?"_ Glimmer questions her.

"Yeah, he's a great guy. And, what if I'm just confused about how I feel for Catra? I mean you never know!" Adora says nervously.

"Adora, you've literally  _never_ cared about any of your boyfriends. You break up with them, and it's like you don't even care. You just shrug it off. And maybe I could've taken that as you just trying to be aloof or something, but you never show interest in guys. You never even talk about them until they ask you out. And even then you hate going on the dates. You've talked about Catra more than  _any_ guy you've ever gone out with. Not to mention that time a few months ago when you called me and you were crying after hanging out with Christian." Glimmer explains.

"Wait, how come I didn't know about that last part?" Bow asks.

Glimmer shrugs. "And I didn't ask what that was about because I knew you wouldn't want to talk about it but..."

"Is this a bad time to bring up that sex dream you told me you had about Catra?" 

Glimmer gasps and looks at her and Bow. "How come I didn't know about this?"

"It wasn't even a sex dream.." Adora shoves her face in her hand. This is really overwhelming.

"Well, that's what you implied..."

"Hey, Adora, it's okay. We support you no matter what." Glimmer says and Bow agrees.

"Yeah, you do. But, my mom won't."

Bow gives her a sympathetic look. "You don't have to come out to her if you don't think it's not safe to. And if you do and she doesn't support you, you can come stay with one of us. My dads would be happy to have you."

"I could do that. But I love my mom. I don't know how my dad feels about it but, I love him too. And I want them to love me." Adora doesn't even realize that she's crying. She wipes her tears with her sleeves. "I have to go." She practically runs out of Glimmer's room and leaves the house. She ignores Bow and Glimmer calling after her.

 

Catra ended up throwing on a pair of ripped jeans, a black t-shirt, and combat boots to surprise Entrapta and Scorpia with her presence. 

She doesn't do much at Entrapta's. They eat and watch TV. Entrapta talks about her most recent science projects while Catra tries her best not to completely zone out. They both seem excited that she actually showed up. It was nice. But not enough to keep her mind off of Lauren, who was texting while she was over there by the way.

She can never get a fucking break can she?

It's nearly ten at night and she's back at her apartment when Adora texts her.

 

 **Adora:** can i come over?

 **Catra:** i'll leave my door unlocked

 

Adora arrives not too long after she gets the text and dramatically throws herself on the couch. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Catra jokes.

Adora stays silent for a few minutes before responding. Then she laughs bitterly. "Do you know how  _easy_ it is to be you?"

She's kind of in shock with her response. "Oh whatever do you mean Adora? I mean, having to move out at seventeen because your mom's a piece of garbage sure is easy isn't it? And not having any idea who the hell your dad is, is fucking great as well. And then having your girlfriend treat you like shit too. Easy right? A life you'd love to live. Right Adora?" 

"I thought you and Lauren were happy together..."

Catra laughs dryly. "Well, you've always been kind of an idiot. And what, your life is so hard how? You get into a fight with your perfect little boyfriend? Or your little friends? Which one was it? Was it Glitter, or was it Mow?"

"Catra, I didn't- I didn't mean what I said like that. I just-"

"You just what? What Adora? Enlighten me."

They're both off of the couch and standing up now.

Adora blinks slowly. "It's nothing." 

"Sounds about right. I think I'm gonna go to bed. You can stay, since it's late. But I'm sleeping on the couch. _Alone."_

 

A few hours later Catra hears Adora walk into the room. She's guessing Adora couldn't sleep either.

She sighs. "I know you're in here Adora. What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean what I said, not like that. I know that this has been really hard for you and-"

Catra cuts her off. "It's fine. I'm sorry for calling you an idiot. You're not an idiot."

"It's okay. Could you, come sleep in the room? I can't sleep."

"Yeah." Catra follows her back into her bedroom. 

She wants to curl up against Adora for the rest of the night and forget about everything. She  _wants_ to believe Adora's apology. 

But another part of her is telling her that Lauren was right all along.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda say this a lot but reading all of you guys' comments and reactions make me sooo happy <33 i'm so glad that you all like the story so much. i think i only need to write 5 or 6 more chapters to finish this au off, so this painful slowburn will be over soon lol


	21. everyone's happy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora tries to run away from all of her problems, catra avoids adora to hide what’s happening between her and Lauren.

        Adora doesn't talk to Catra outside of school for the rest of the week. It seems that Catra is avoiding her. But she doesn't know why.

Adora apologized for what she said over at Catra's apartment, Catra said it was fine. But everything  _isn't_ fine and she knows it. 

Catra isn't the type of person to not say anything when something or someone is pissing her off. She won't say how she  _feels_ about it, sure. But she's very vocal when someone has done something wrong. But right now, she hasn't said anything at all.

And god is it stressing Adora out. 

She truly didn't mean what she said back at Catra's apartment. Adora knows that Catra's upbringing was rough. What she really meant was how easy it was for Catra to just be herself. She could date whoever she wanted and be who she wanted to be. Adora, on the other hand, can't do those things.

Her mom is always breathing down her neck and she's expected to be perfect most of the time. And maybe Adora being a perfectionist plays a role in her issues but, she's never really had a problem with being under pressure. Or doing thing's how her mom wanted. She always had her friends and she always had Catra. But her shocking revelation at Glimmer's house has the potential to ruin the wall of absolute perfection she's built.

If she was a lesbian, people could look at her differently. She'd probably have to deal with the homophobic douchebags on the boys varsity teams whenever she sees them. And she'd have to deal with her mom's constant comments and insults. 

But if she just stays with Christian, nothing would change. And so what if she did have feelings for Catra? It's not like she reciprocates them. She could just stay with Christian and wait for them to go away. And she could figure out what was wrong with Catra and fix their friendship. 

Everyone would be happy.  _Except herself._

 

Adora decides to go out with Christian for the day. It's not like she could really hang out with anyone else. She's been avoiding Glimmer and Bow because they interrogate her every time she sees them. And Catra, she has no idea what's going on with her. Maybe it has something to do with Lauren.

She goes over Christian's house and they hang out in his room while his family's gone. Things escalate pretty quickly and she's in Christian's bed.

This time while she's kissing him, she tries something different. Instead of having her eyes open or imagining Catra, she tries to not think about anything. She doesn't feel anything when she's kissing Christian, but she always gets really anxious. So she lets her mind go completely blank. Which is admittedly hard at first because Adora is always thinking about  _something_ , but it'll make kissing Christian much easier. 

 

_It works._

 

Catra hasn't left her apartment in over twenty-four hours. She decided to skip school on Friday, she just couldn't find the motivation to get out of bed. 

School is always shitty but she'd always had at least  _one_ thing going for her, keeping her from saying fuck it and skipping. But there wasn't anything at the moment. 

She hadn't really been talking to Adora, and she definitely didn't want to play pretend with Lauren and act like their relationship is fine and dandy. 

Of course Lauren asked why she wasn't at school but Catra just lied and said she was sick. She added that what she was coming down with is contagious so Lauren wouldn't try and come over. 

All she did on Friday was lay in bed. When she wasn't doing that she was watching whatever came on TV and stuffing her face with everything in her kitchen. She ate and entire quart of ice cream and a bunch of other unhealthy food Adora warned her about eating all of the time.

She threw it all up in the middle of the night.

Now it’s Saturday morning and Catra’s been up since midnight. She’s gonna have to get up sooner or later because today’s the first official soccer practice.

And Catra’s the captain.

The results were released earlier during the week. Lauren said she’d go to every one of Catra’s games but she doesn’t really see that as a good thing.

She texts Scorpia and Entrapta for a little bit before getting ready for practice. Catra knows that they enjoy when she actually puts in effort to talk to them.

_It’s as if everything she does is to make the people in her life happy. And everyone’s happy. Except her._

 

Catra doesn’t talk to Adora during practice at all. She addresses Adora with the rest of team and does her warm-up drills alone.

She ends up being the last one in locker room after practice with Catra.

”Why are you avoiding me?” She asks.

”I’m not avoiding you.”

Adora rolls her eyes. “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

”I’m talking to you right now.”

Of course she makes this difficult. Adora walks over to the locker where Catra is. “Look, I don’t know how many times I have to apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it that way. I just- I got heated in the moment and said something regretful.” She trues to maintain eye contact with ************************Catra, who’s only wearing a sports bra and jogging pants at the moment.

“I already told you that it’s fine Adora.” Catra rummages through her duffle bag.

”Well you’re certainly not acting as if it is.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe not everything is about you? And that not everyone wants to be suffocated with your presence all of the time? Some people just need space to breathe, Adora.” Catra remarks harshly.

Adora cringes at what she says and almost leaves the room altogether. But she sighs and remembers that it’s Catra that she’s talking to, and she often says the meanest thing she can think of to push people away. “That’s not true. About a month and a half ago you drove over to my house on school morning, and climbed the tree next to my window to get in. All because you missed me. I find it hard to believe that you need space.”

Catra’s ears flatten. They both stay silent for a moment.

Adora’s eyes flutter down to Catra’s side and she notices a light blue and purple bruise with weirdly shaped marks. She lightly presses her index finger against it.

”What happened?” 

Catra shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

They become silent again.

Catra puts on a T-shirt and pulls out a hairbrush. She sits down on the bench in front of the lockers and begins to go through her unruly hair. 

Adora kind of wants to run her hands through it. She decides to sit next to Catra on the bench and sighs. “I know it’s only been a week, but I miss you. And I’m sorry about whatever you and Lauren are going through. But just know that you can talk to me, because I lo- I care about you.” She places a hand on Catra’s shoulder.

”I’m sorry for avoiding you. I guess that’s all I know how to do... I missed you too.” Catra says rather quietly.

Adora smiles. “I forgive you. Wanna go get smoothies?”

”I’d love to.”

They race each other to the parking lot and Catra wins. But Adora’s just happy that her and Catra aren’t going through whatever that was anymore. 

She also happy that she didn’t slip up and tell Catra she loves her in a romantic way. 

That would’ve been disastrous.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot happens in the next few chapters, this painful slowburn is slowly coming to an end. i hope you all enjoyed this chapter <3


	22. midnight talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora finds out about what’s happening between catra and lauren.
> 
> TW//
> 
>  
> 
> strong mentions of physical and emotional abuse

It’s Sunday night and Catra can’t sleep. Lauren came over earlier and they got into an argument.

 

They do that a lot nowadays.

 

Lauren got really mad at her. Like, really mad . 

 

Lauren was trying to basically convince her that she’s in love with her. Catra knows that she isn’t.

 

She loves Adora.

 

She’d been trying to break it off with Lauren, but she would claim that she’s sorry. Or bring up how Catra treated her terribly and she deserved what she was doing to her. And god is that exhausting.

 

Today, Catra told Lauren that she didn’t love her. And that she didn’t deserve what was happening to her. (Although, she still didn’t know whether she believed it or not.)

 

Catra was expecting a slap in the face or for her to grab her. Nothing new really. But Lauren straight up decked her in the face. 

 

Now her eye has a cut under it, and it’s bruised all around. 

 

If Lauren keeps this up it’s gonna get harder and harder to hide bruises and cuts. And even harder to come up with excuses for them.

 

The worst part about this entire ordeal isn’t even the injuries. It’s that Catra still cares about Lauren. The same problem she had when she moved out of her mom’s house. 

 

That’s Catra’s problem. She cares  way  too much. She doesn’t try to show it, but she does. And every time she pays the price for it. 

 

Because of this, she fell in love with Adora, who’ll never love her back. And she’s stuck in this toxic cycle with Lauren.She even misses her mom sometimes. Even though she insulted her every chance she got. 

 

Catra turns over on her side in bed, her eye still aching but she doesn’t do anything about it. She grabs the pillow next to her and takes the picture of her and Adora out of the pillowcase.

 

_ When did everything get so fucked up? _

 

Adora can’t sleep either. She’s trying to though.

 

She’s switched to every side of her bed, taken the blanket off of her, put a pillow over her face, taken all of the pillows off of her bed, but she still can’t fall asleep. 

 

She’s scrolled through every app on her phone and nothing’s changed. Bow and Glimmer stopped spamming the group chat a couple hours ago, giving up on getting her to respond to their messages and going to bed.

 

So Adora messages the only person that would be up this late. 

 

adora to catra: hi

 

adora: you up?

 

catra is typing...

 

catra: yeah

 

adora: why are you up

 

catra: i could literally ask you the same thing 

 

catra: anyways, i can’t sleep sooo

 

adora: me either

 

adora: and i’m bored 

 

catra: idk what to tell you princess 

 

Catra hadn’t called her that nickname since middle school. 

 

adora: i have an idea ;)

 

catra: what is it 

 

catra: you better not do anything fucking stupid

 

Adora quietly walks downstairs and grabs her cars keys off of the counter. She throws on a pair of tennis shoes and opens her bedroom window. 

 

Adora looks down at the tree warily.

 

How does Catra climb this all the time...

 

It isn’t that far down so, if she were to slip and fall there’s a seventy percent chance she won’t die. Maybe it’ll just result in a major concussion. 

 

Adora sighs and steps on to her window seat. 

 

She grabs onto a thick branch and begins to climb down.

 

 

Adora ends up driving over to the apartment complex where Catra lives.

 

 

Catra’s staring at the ceiling with no response from Adora when she hears knocking on her front door.

 

_ Who the hell- _

 

She leaves her room and goes to the front door. Catra looks out the window to see Adora.

 

She quickly goes over to the kitchen and grabs an ice pack to put over her eye. 

 

Catra opens the doors half way and gives Adora a look only she would understand. “So I tell you I’m still awake, and you take that as an invitation to come over at three a.m?”

 

Adora slides through the open door. “Yep. You did the same thing earlier this year so don’t act like you’re better than me.” Adora walks over to the living room.

 

“That was different. It was Saturday. We have school tomorrow.”

 

“Like you care.”

 

_ True. _

 

Catra sits next to Adora on the couch.

 

“Why are you icing your eye?” 

 

“Uh... It’s sore for some reason.” Catra only partly lied. Her eye is sore, but she knows exactly why.

 

They talk about random things for a little while. Their usual banter flowing easily. 

 

Then Catra moves her ice pack too far up, revealing the cut Lauren left under it.

 

Adora stops what she was previously talking about when she looks at Catra. “Hey, what happened here?” She inches closer to Catra and removes the ice pack.

 

Catra lets her do this to avoid any suspicion. 

 

Adora gasps lightly. “Your eye, Catra. What happened?” She inspects the bruise and lightly touches her eye. 

 

Catra thinks for a moment.“I fell down the stairs.” She says a little too quickly. 

 

Adora’s eyebrows furrow. “Where? Cause there’s only one floor in your apartment, and all of your classes at school are on the first floor.” 

 

Catra’s ears flatten. “It’s nothing. Let’s just go to bed.”

 

Adora frowns. “If it’s nothing then why did you lie to me?”

 

Catra avoids Adora’s gaze and stays silent.

 

“Did someone do this to you? Did... did Lauren do this to you? 

 

Catra waits for a second and then nods. 

 

“Catra, why would she do this to you? Was this the first time?” 

 

Catra sighs. “She did it because she was angry with me. She’s angry with me a lot nowadays. And no,it’s not the first time.”

 

“Catra...why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you leave?” 

 

Catra decides against telling her that Lauren was mad at her for having feelings for Adora.

 

“It’s complicated. And I thought I deserved what she was doing to me. She said that I did. But she also said that she loved me.” Catra could feel tears welling up in her eyes. 

 

Adora pulls her in for a hug and can feel her sniffling on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry that this was happening. I know for a fact that you didn’t do anything to deserve this. You deserve someone who truly loves you.” Adora pulls away and places her hand on Catra’s shoulder.“You need to leave her. You deserve better and it’s not safe for you.”

 

“I know. And thanks for... y’know being here for me.”

 

Adora smiles.

 

“But you should probably go home. Your mom’s gonna wonder where you are in the morning.” Catra wipes the corners of her eyes with her index finger. 

 

Adora shakes her head. “I’ll text her and say that I went in early for a project or something. I’m not leaving. It’s late. Plus I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

 

“I’m okay. Or, at least I will be. Can we go to bed? I’m tired and we have to be up in no more than four hours.”

 

“Yeah, of course. But one more thing... Can you show me where she hurt you? It’s really weird I know-“

 

Catra cuts her off. “I don’t think it’s weird. And I trust you. So I’ll show you.” Catra takes off her pajama shirt.She turns slightly and points to a bruise on her side. “I don’t remember where this came from, honestly. I don’t think I noticed it since you pointed it out at practice.”

 

Adora places a shaky hand on Catra’s side and she tenses. But she lets out a deep breath and lets Adora lightly touch the small bruise. 

 

“Does this hurt?” 

 

“No.” Catra turns back around and gulps. She felt incredibly vulnerable. But she didn’t want Adora to worry. She points to a semi large bruise on her rib cage. 

 

Adora gasps and can feel herself tearing up as well. “Catra...”

 

Catra sighs. “This one... I scratched her. In defense. Then she knocked me over and kicked me here.”

 

Adora lightly touches it and Catra winces.

 

“That ones still sore.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

Catra puts her shirt back on and sits next to Adora. She pulls up her pant leg and shows her a bruise below her knee. “I don’t really remember what this is from either. Maybe she kicked me? But it’s small and I didn’t really pay any attention to it.” Catra meets Adora’s eyes and can see the pure sadness in her eyes. Tears are slowly rolling down the girl’s face. “Don’t cry, I’m not crying. I’ve cried enough already.”

 

“Catra I’m so sorry-“

 

“Don’t this isn’t on you.Even if I did take it out on you last week. And I’m sorry for that.” Catra waits a moment before continuing. “Here’s the last one.” Catra flips her hands to show the palms. Small round bruises splattered on the back of her wrists.

 

Adora rubs them with her thumb and looks up at Catra. “Hey, I want you to know, that you didn’t deserve this. Okay? I’ll say it a thousand times if I have to.”

 

Catra nods. 

 

Adora hugs her again and they stay on the couch, holding each other for a little while. Eventually they go to Catra’s room and fall asleep holding each other as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we’re FINALLy getting somewhere. i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I honestly had trouble writing it because it was so heavy. I hope I did this topic justice.
> 
> twitter: voidlalisa  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy


	23. thinking things through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prom is coming up, catra is trying to think about her relationship with lauren and figure out how to end it.

Adora wakes up the next morning and Catra’s still sound asleep. It’s 6:30  and school starts at eight.

 

Catra wakes up thirty minutes later and rubs her eyes. She yawns and looks at Adora. “Hey Adora.”

 

“Hi. We need to get up soon, it’s seven.”

 

Catra groans.

 

“You wanna stay home today?” Adora asks.

 

“We can’t. Your mom would be pissed. And why would you wanna stay home? You never miss school.”

 

“We stayed up really late. And your eye is a little swollen. My mom will get over it.”

 

“You would skip school for me?” Catra smiles.

 

“Yeah. I mean, you’re hurt.No one else is here foryou right now and I wanna take care of you.” Adora says like it’s nothing.

 

“I appreciate your concern, I really do. But, I already skipped on Friday cause I didn’t feel like going.” Catra begins to get out of her bed.

 

“Catra, wait. One more thing.”

 

Catra turns around before she enters her bathroom. “Yeah?”

 

“Are you gonna... talk to Lauren soon?” Adora fiddles with her fingers.

 

Catra sighs. “Yeah. I think I’m gonna just think things out and then talk to her. Not to try and still be in a relationship with her, but think things through for myself. I’d been wanting to do it for a while.” 

 

Adora gives her supporting smile. “Okay. I’m gonna make us breakfast while you get ready. Oh! I also need to borrow an outfit for today.”

 

“Knock yourself out, princess. Some of my clothes might fit weird since I’m shorter than you though.”

 

Adora gets dressed after Catra and learns that Catra doesn’t own a single pair of jeans that aren’t ripped.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks pass by and Catra doesn’t hear from Lauren. She avoids her at school and doesn’t text her. Which is a good thing but Catra also doesn’t really know what to think.

 

And Adora’s been bugging her about leaving. She understands why but Catra’s trying to figure out what the hell she’s even gonna say to Lauren. 

 

She doesn’t wanna fall for any of her fake apologies and love declarations. She wants to get out of the relationship. It’s mentally draining and she doesn’t want anymore bruises.

 

But that annoying part of her self that craves love and validation is telling her that she wants Lauren to love her. Just like it did when she left her mom. 

 

Catra’s at her locker rolling her eyes at the prom posters being hung up when Adora approaches her. 

 

“Hey! Did you talk to-“

 

“Before you even finish that question, no. But I will. Okay?”

 

“I’m sorry if I’m bugging you. I just want you to be safe.” Adora says, sickeningly sweet. 

 

“It’s fine.” Catra closes her locker and leans against it, standing next to Adora. “You know, I think I’m gonna skip prom.”

 

Adora quickly turns her head. “Um, no you’re not! You can’t! It’s our first prom!”

 

“I don’t have a date. Or literally anyone to go with.”

 

Adora pauses to think. “If that’s an issue, why don’t you just go with Scorpia and Entrapta?”

 

“Entrapta would get herself kicked out, and Scorpia would socialize with everyone and try to include me because she’s too nice.”

 

“Oh. Well you can go with Christian and I!” Adora suggests.

 

“Don’t really wanna be a third wheel either.”

 

“It won’t be like that. You can sit shot gun. And I’ll pay for your food.”

 

_ How could she say no to that? _

 

“I’m in I guess. But I’m taking your car and leaving the very second, I see any PDA.”

 

“Don’t worry. This is gonna be so fun! We can dance together all night long.” Adora clasps her hands together in excitement.

 

Catra lazily grins. “You have a boyfriend to attend to, remember him?”

 

“Oh yeah! I do. But it’s tradition. He’ll get over it” 

 

Adora went to lunch two weeks ago and was immediately confronted by Glimmer and Bow.

 

“ _Adora!” Bow says._

 

_ “Why haven’t you been responding to our messages?” Glimmer adds.  _

 

_ Adora sighs and sits across from them in her usual seat. “It was a really long week okay? I wasn’t talking to anyone.” _

 

_ “Except Catra.” Bow says confidently. _

 

_ “What? No. We got into an argument last weekend and just made up on Saturday at soccer practice.” _

 

_ Glimmer and Bow give her a look. _

 

_ “And maybe I snuck out and drove over to her house at three in the morning. And slept over...” _

 

_ Glimmer gasped dramatically. _

 

_ “On a school night?” _

 

_ “Yeah...” Adora replies sheepishly. _

 

_ “Moving on to the important stuff, have you broken up with Christian?” Bow asks. _

 

_ “No. I really do care about him.” _

 

_ “But not in a romantic way.” Glimmer adds. _

 

_ “That’s not true.” _

 

_ “That way, is reserved for Catra.” Bow says to Glimmer.  _

 

_ Adora shakes her head and covers her face with her palms as Glimmer and Bow tease her about Catra. _

 

_ “Can we stop talking about my love life?” Adora blurts out. _

 

_ “Yeah, we can. But just know that we support you and that we’re here for you.” _

 

_ They continue on with aimless conversations. _

_ Adora trying to avoid the nagging voice in her brain about Christian. _

 

Catra is on her phone at a patio table during lunch when a familiar figure sits down across from her.

 

“Can we talk?” Lauren asks.

 

Maybe she feels bad about what she did. Catra thought.

 

She should. But that doesn’t mean that you should try and get back with her. Said a voice in her head that sounded an awful lot like Adora.

 

“What do you want? My eye is fine now.” Catra’s eye is a very light blue and purple now, and the cut under it starting to scar.

 

“To talk. To apologize.” Lauren adds, trying to sound empathetic.

 

Coincidentally, the lunch bell rings. Catra frowns sarcastically. “Aw, looks like lunch is over. Sorry.” Catra picks up her tray and leaves. Not looking back at Lauren once. 

 

 

But later on that night she can’t stop thinking about the situation. She knows she needs to end things, but Catra wants to make sure she says everything she needs to say. And that she doesn’t listen to Lauren’s apparent manipulations. 

 

She decides not to be scared of her, trying to be positive and believe that she’s gonna get out of this.

 

catra to lauren: meet me in the commons area tomorrow morning

 

lauren is typing....

 

lauren: okay! sweet dreams <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of a filler but the next two chapters will be VERY eventful! And much more focused on Adora’s comp het and internalized homophobia. And Catra’s finally gonna get a break don’t worry.


	24. loaded questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prom is this weekend, catra talks to lauren, adora thinks about the idea of being in a relationship with a girl.

       Catra meets Lauren in the high school commons area the next day. She sees her sitting at a table near the front.

"Hey babe." Lauren says as Catra sits down across from her.

Catra stays silent, trying to go over all she planned to say in her head.

Lauren looks at her eye and gives her a sympathetic look. "Hey, I'm really sorry about-"

Catra interrupts her before she can continue. "Before you start with your fake apology, I'm breaking up with you."

Lauren looks taken aback. " _Why?"_

"Oh please, you know exactly why. I didn't deserve the way you've treated me for the past four months. You _used_ and manipulated me. And I stayed because you'd give me a bullshit apology and tell me that you loved me. And that I deserved it." Catra gets up out of her chair, starting to leave the commons area.

"But you did deserve it. I  _loved_ you Catra. I loved you when no one else did. And you know how you re-payed me? You just kept running back to Adora. Who doesn't love you by the way, and never will. So I don't know why you're doing this for her."

_"You didn’t do anything to deserve this."_

_"You deserve someone who truly loves you."_

Catra pauses and then shakes her head. "I didn't deserve it. This situation is on you, not me. And I do love Adora, but I'm not doing this for her. I'm doing this for me. We're done Lauren." With that being said, Catra leaves the commons area and doesn't look back.

She feels like a huge stack of bricks were just lifted off of her chest. 

 

Adora's in the P.E. locker room when Mermista starts talking about her relationship with her on and off boyfriend, Seahawk, and their recent...  _accomplishment._

"So, me and Seahawk just did it yesterday. We've screwed around and stuff but this was our actual first time. It was nice I guess." Mermista says nonchalantly. 

"Actually it's, Seahawk and I", Entrapta corrects.

"I thought you two would've done it already. You've been on and off for a while now." Glimmer adds as she walks out of the showering area.

_It?_

"Sorry to interrupt but what this 'it' you all are talking about?" Adora asks, confused.

Everyone looks at her like something's wrong.

"...Intercourse." Perfuma finally says. 

_Oh. OH._

"Adora how did you _not_ know what that is." Glimmer says as she heads over to the locker beside her.

Adora shrugs.

Mermista sits down on the bench in front of the lockers and sighs. "Anyways, maybe she didn't know because she's gay." Mermista turns around to make eye contact with her. "You're gay right?"

Adora feels her eyes dart all around the room and Perfuma cuts in before she can respond.

"Maybe she's waiting until marriage. Are you?"

"No I'm not gay, and no I'm not waiting until marriage. I guess I'm just waiting for the right person and time? I don't know." Adora stammers.

Mermista looks down at her nails. "Huh. I never thought you were a virgin, just gay. I thought that was why you were clueless."

"Why did you think I was gay..."

"You have pictures of professional  _female_ soccer players all over your room and taped in your locker, you never talk about guys, not even that Christian dude you supposedly dated-"

Adora cuts in. "We're still dating."

"See? I didn't even know you two were still dating. You never talk about him. Plus you just give off huge lesbian jock vibes." Mermista adds to her previous statement.

"She's right." Glimmer says.

"I for one, also agree." Perfuma replies.

Adora turns to Entrapta. "What do you think? You're the smartest one here Entrapta, do you think I'm a lesbian?"

Entrapta clears her throat. "Someone's sexuality is truly only a thing you, yourself can figure out, and it can't be assumed by other people based on details they've picked up about you or assumptions. But since you're asking me to venture off from that information and give an opinionated answer based off of what the other people in here have said, and the handful of times we've spent time together, I would think that you're a lesbian. But my answer doesn't matter, because once again, this is something only you can figure out."

 

Adora thinks about what Entrapta says for the rest of the day.

 

Catra runs up to Adora as they make their way to third period. She sneaks up behind her and ruffles and pulls at her ponytail.

"Hey Adora."

Adora sighs and pulls her ponytail holder out. "You haven't done that in a while. And I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed when you didn't."

"Oh well. But I have good news."

"What is it?" Adora asks as they continue down the hallway.

"I broke up with Lauren."

"Really? That's great Catra. I'm proud of you."

Catra smiles.

"How do you feel about it?"

She sighs. "I don't know. But I think I'll be a lot more relaxed and less stressed now."

"That's good. Do you ever think maybe... you should I don't know, talk to someone about all of this? I know you left Lauren and all but this is still a lot to handle on your own."

"You mean like a therapist? Not really. You getting sick of listening to my issues Adora?" Catra jokes.

"No, no. It's not that. But I want you to  _truly_ be happy and not carry these burdens from your mom and Lauren, y'know? Plus, I'm not a professional. I just want you to be happy without the burden of what your mom and Lauren did to you."

_God, someone genuinely caring about her with no strings attached?_

_Damn. Her feelings for Adora aren't going away any time soon._

"Okay."

 

Adora went dress shopping over the weekend with Glimmer for prom. She got another maroon dress, but this one stops right above the knee and has a criss-cross design that shows her back, and a bow. Glimmer got a long purple maxi dress. 

She just tried the dress on to show her parents how it fits. She texted Catra, asking her to come over after her shift so she can show it to her. But Catra preferred to see it on prom night. Catra's still coming over though, because Adora has two important questions to ask her.

 

"Adora! Catra's here!" Her mom shouts.

Shortly after, she hears Catra's footsteps on the stairs and her bedroom door is thrown open. She still has on her name tag and work clothes.

"I see you used the front door like a normal person."

"I'm tired. Sue me." Catra throws herself onto her bed.

"How was work?"

"Oh my god it was so  _boring._ I literally did homework during my shift."

"At least you actually got your homework done."

Catra rolls over onto her stomach and faces Adora, who's sitting against the bed's headboard. "What two  _very_ important things do you need to talk to me about anyway?"

"I'll tell you and explain after I ask you two questions. But you have to promise not to make fun of me."

"Depends on the questions."

"Catra..."

"Fine. I promise."

Adora lets out a long sigh. "Are you a virgin?"

Catra laughs. "That's what you needed to ask me? You couldn't have said this over text?"

"Catra!"

" _Okay, Okay._ No, I am not a virgin. I lost that title to a girl at some rando's house party. We were both shit faced drunk so I barely remember anything about it. I don't recommend doing that. Why are you asking anyway? Are you still a virgin or something?" Catra jokes.

Adora doesn't respond.

"Oh my god you are!"

"Is it really that bad?"

"No. So what if you're a prude. I support you."

"I am  _not._ " 

Catra gives her look. "Okay...But it's just surprising to be honest. I mean you've been dating Christian for seven months and you've dated a couple of other people. Plus you've said yourself that you're not waiting until marriage. But that's not why I'm surprised. I'm surprised because you're like, hot shit around school. You could get the hottest dude in school if you really wanted to. But I mean, if you're not ready, you're not ready. And that's fine. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want. And if someone tries to, call me so I can beat their ass."

Adora smiles. But then it falters as she starts to think.

 _Is Christian expecting us to sleep together soon?_ Adora can barely kiss Christian, having him do more than that is unappealing to say the least. 

"So what's the other question?"

Adora looks up at her ceiling to prevent making eye contact with Catra. "What's it like being with a girl?"

Catra's eyes widen and her eyebrows shoot up. "Uh, well it's great. It's also kind of hard to explain. But, when you like the girl and have feelings for her, it's like one of the best feelings in the world. It's the same way you  _should_ feel with a guy, if you're into guys. Not to mention the sex is fantastic. Sorry I can't exactly go into more detail. I've been in one serious relationship and we both know how that turned out." 

Adora nods. "What's it like to kiss a girl?"

"That ones easy. It's nice, and _fun_. It can be like  _really_ soft, and sometimes it's like they know exactly what to do by default, because they're a girl too and know girl's bodies pretty well. Kissing a girl compared to boy literally made me realize that I'm a lesbian."

Adora imagines herself passionately kissing Catra. Their hands tangled in each other's hair, legs entwining. She feels another strong urge to just, lean in and kiss her. 

"Hello? Earth to Adora?" Catra waves a hand in her face.

"Oh, sorry."

"Is that all of your questions?"

"Yeah." Adora responds, almost whispering. 

 

Adora thinks about what Catra says before she goes to sleep. 

_It's the same way you should feel with a guy, if you're into guys._

Maybe she just needs to try it with Christian. No backing out of it, detaching herself from reality, or even imagining Catra instead. Maybe she's just been self sabotaging herself by doing those things. 

She's gonna give it one last shot at prom.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter not once, but TWICE. I lost all of my work the first time, and part of it the second. I intended to have this up early this morning but that's why it's up now lol.   
> next chapter is huge turning point! hope you all enjoyed this one <33


	25. prom night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's prom night, and adora comes face to face with the issues she's been dealing with for years.
> 
> tw//
> 
> homophobia and implied molestation
> 
> there's also minor sexual content in this.

        The rest of the week is pretty uneventful. All the students are buzzing about prom weekend but Adora's kind of anxious about it. And Catra's only going because she has nothing else better to do. 

 

Saturday finally rolls around and Catra and Christian meet at Adora's house. 

Adora walks down the stairs, Christian waiting for her at the bottom with a corsage matching her dress in his hands. 

"Wow Adora, you look amazing." Christians eyes widen in disbelief, full of genuine adoration.

Adora thinks she doesn't deserve him.

Catra nods, agreeing with Christian. "You look really _pretty."_

They all take pictures with Adora in the middle.

Adora's mom looks at Catra. "Is Lauren coming?"

"Nope. I'm just third wheeling these two tonight." Catra says jokingly. 

Adora makes a mental note to remember to explain to her mom what happened, and apologize to Catra for her bringing it up.

 

A million pictures later, they all head out to Adora's car. 

Adora bumps Catra's shoulder with her own as they walk outside. "You called me pretty, how nice of you." Catra would always make comments about her appearance and say things like " _you look hot"_ or maybe  _"if I was a dude, I'd totally smash"_ or even use a big fancy word like 'extravagant'. But never anything like 'pretty' or 'cute'. It's just a part of her flirtatious nature.

"Your boyfriend was right in front of me Adora. He would  _totally_ think that I was flirting with you if I said you looked hot or something." Catra replies in a teasing tone.

Adora pauses for a moment and then smiles smugly. "You mean, you weren't already flirting with me before?" Adora mimics Catra's tone.

Catra's ears perk up. _"What? No!"_

" _Relax._ I'm just fucking with you."

"Screw you."

 

Everyone arrives at prom and Adora thinks Catra had the right idea about staying home. She's standing next to Christian in a group of his friends. She's pretty sure they're all just engaging in small talk and she could join the conversation but she doesn't really want to. 

But Adora turns around and sees Catra laughing it up with Scorpia and Entrapta and thinks that she might just be at prom with the wrong person.

She dances with Christian for a bit before sitting alone at an empty table. Then Catra appears in front of her with a gloved hand held out.

"Hey princess, where's your prince?"

"He went to the bathroom a little while ago, I'm guessing he got distracted or something." Adora says with a lack of interest in her voice.

Catra gives her a fake frown. "Don't mope around. It's almost slow dance time. I can't dance without my partner." Catra shakes her hand around in the air.

Adora grabs it and lets Catra lead her out onto the dance floor.

She places her hands right on Catra's waist and sighs.

"You don't look so happy... did you try the punch?"

"No, it doesn't look very appealing."

"Well, I heard that the punch is reason everyone's so happy and excited... I spiked it." Catra whispers the last part in Adora's ear.

Adora furthers the distance between them for a moment. " _You didn't_."

Catra lets out a squeaky high pitched laugh. "Oh come on! You really fell for that? Where would I even get the alcohol from?"

Adora rolls her eyes and steps back into their previous position.

"But seriously, are you okay? You look upset."

Adora exhales. "Yeah I'm fine. The night's just been kinda sub-par I guess."

" _Wow_ , High-maintenance much? I guess I'll have to work with that." Catra speeds up their movement and spins Adora.

She cant help but smile at how Catra was really trying to make the night better.

She flips Adora and dips her, Catra's leg slotting right in between Adora's.

They simply stare at each other for a moment, both of their eyes dilated. Catra pulls her back up and spots Christian.

"There's your prince. By the way, I'm gonna ride with Scorpia and Entrapta tonight. Save me one more dance before the end of the night!" Catra yells before running off to the other side of the gym. 

 

Her slow dance with Christian isn't as fun.

 

Adora lets Christian drive back and she suggests that they pull over somewhere, which is the first mistake she makes. She hates being in hot and stuffy cars, but that's exactly what she's about to do.

She initiates the kiss, another fatal flaw in judgement. 

All is going pretty okay until it gets serious. Until they both climb over the seats to go to back of her car.

Now, Christians on top of her, feeling up over her prom dress. Which isn't  _that_ bad. She can barely feel it. 

Then it gets even more heated. Christian takes off his jacket. Adora can feel her hair sticking to her face, something else she absolutely can't stand.

Next, Christian feels  _under_ her prom dress. He asks if it's ok and she says yes. Yet another bad decision on Adora's part.

He's kissing her neck and feeling her up, Adora's eyes are forcefully squeezed shut at this point. Hot tears are uncontrollably falling from her eyes, concerning Christian. She says her eyes get watery when it's warm. Which is a terrible lie.

Adora tries to think that it'll all be over soon. And that she'll be okay. And that maybe doing it with a guy isn't that bad.

But she remembers what Catra said to her earlier during the week. About being with a girl. How it's  _amazing_. And how that's how she's  _supposed_ to feel with Christian, or just boys in general. But she doesn't feel amazing. She feels like utter shit. She feels like she's trying to pull off this huge lie and convince everyone that it's true.

Christian begins to pull down her underwear and she realizes that she can't do it. 

She doesn't  _want_ to do it.

So she pushes Christian away and sits up. She lets out short ragged breaths, tears slowly but surely rolling down her cheeks.

Christian sits up and rubs his face.  "What's the matter with you?"

Adora blinks.

"Y-you  _ask_ me to pull over, you kiss me and pull me to the backseat. You _tell_ me that what I'm doing is okay and then push me away."

"I'm sorry, I am. Just- let's go back to my house so you can get your car and go home." Adora sniffles.

Christian shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry if what I said came off harsh sounding, I didn't mean it that way. But this isn't really the first time you've pushed me away. Just tell me what's going on Adora. I love and care about you, you just have to trust me."

Adora stops to think. She could come up with some lie that more than likely wouldn't make sense, use it as an excuse, and continue on with Christian. Nothing would change. 

_But does she want that?_

She doesn't want things to change. She doesn't want anyone to look at her differently. She doesn't want to get harassed by the boys on the varsity team, or deal with girls in the locker room avoiding her. She remembers Catra telling her about having to deal with things like that sometimes. But she stayed true to herself claiming that it's who she is and that makes her happy.

And Adora truly does want to be happy. 

"I'm a lesbian."

Christian nods slowly.

"And I'm sorry if you thought I was stringing you along, cause you're a great guy. And you deserve someone who's able to genuinely love you. I'm sorry for  _everything_. I was just so  _scared,_ and I still am. I couldn't accept it because I didn't want to deal with my parents, or the boys at school, or anyone! I thought I could just  _learn_ to like this and I'd get used to it. But I can't. And I don't want to."

Christian is quiet for a moment. "It's okay."

Adora blinks several times. "It is?"

"I mean it hurts that the girl I love doesn't love me but, it's not your fault. And it's not mine either. My little sister's gay. She came out over the summer. She said she tried to like boys, but she couldn't. Kind of like you. I don't know why I'm telling you but I think I'm just trying to say that you're not alone. And that I'm not mad at you for trying to stay with me. I'm straight so I obviously don't know and understand the internal struggle you must've had. And if my sister found out that I was judging you, and putting in my input where it doesn't belong, well, she'd kick my ass."

"Nice to know that a middle schooler got it together before I did."

"Hey, it's hard. Don't beat yourself up. And don't think I'm just gonna stop talking to you after this Adora. You're stuck with me. I am gonna be your ex-boyfriend that is now your friend that's in it for the long haul."

Adora laughs. "So you don't want a new partner in Science after all of this?"

Christian feigns a look of bewilderment. " _Hell no._ You're the smartest person in that class."

She laughs again and wipes the tears out of the corners of her eyes. "Thank you."

"No problem." Christian pulls her in for a hug and she hugs him back with ease. "So, is Catra the girl?"

"How'd you know?"

She feels Christian shrug in her arms. "Lucky guess."

Christian pulls away.

"Speaking of, can you drive me to Catra's?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll drive back to your house to get my car since it's close."

"I don't know how I could ever thank you enough, or repay you."

"You can repay me by getting me a front row seat to you and Catra's wedding."

Adora's cheeks get hot. "Shut up." 

 

 

She knocks on Catra's door and sees someone looking through the peephole shortly after.

Catra opens the door. "Adora?" She opens the door to let her in.

Catra's in a V-neck hanging loosely from her collar bone and a pair of cotton shorts. 

"You wanna change out of that?" She asks.

Adora sighs. "Yes,  _please._ "

"You know where my closet is, knock yourself out."

 

Catra's sitting on the couch when she walks back into the living room. Adora sits down next to her and stares at the carpet.

"What happened to you?"

Adora gulps. "Christian and I broke up."

Catra looks at her. "Did he hurt you?"

Adora scoffs and almost laughs. "No. More like I hurt him over the course of our entire relationship."

"How?"

"Because I'm a lesbian."

Catra's eyes widen.

"And I refused to admit it."

"You could've told me."

"I know. But then it would've been too real for me. I didn't want to come out, or deal with anyone treating or looking at me differently. Especially my mom."

"Your mom?"

"Yep. I don't know why this stuck with me for so long but, when we were little you said we should get married. It was the day that my mom was taking me to my first piano lesson. I agreed and told my mom about it but she said that I couldn't. She said it wasn't _'how things are supposed to be'_. I never forgot about it. Or when you came out to me back in eighth grade. Somehow, my mom overheard and s-she said that I couldn't hang out with you anymore. She asked if you tried to  _touch_ me in  _that_ way. So I just couldn't accept it. I forced myself into this relationship with Christian, thinking I could just learn to like it. But I can't."

"You don't need to tell her if you don't think it'll be safe. And if anything goes sideways you can come stay with me and we'll get a head start on living together. I'm sorry you felt that you had to go though all of this alone. But just know now, that you don't. If  _anyone_  even _looks_ at you the wrong way, tell me. I'm great with revenge plots."

Adora smiles and she swears that her heart feels full. She nearly tackles Catra into a hug. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome."

 

Now the only other issue she's  _really_ concerned with, is her mom.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew! this has been a long and painful ride. there's a couple of chapters left of this au and that's it! hope you enjoyed this chapter <3  
> twitter: voidlalisa  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy


	26. the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a month passes by and adora is worried about her situation with her parents, catra decides to finally talk to someone about what she's went through. this is kind of a filler chapter.
> 
> tw//
> 
> mentions of abuse

         It's May now and Adora's out to all of her friends. They've all been really supportive. 

School is gonna be out in about two weeks but Adora's not looking forward to spending the summer with her parents. Ever since she came out, the one sided love between her and her mom began to feel real. Her mom tells her she loves her every morning before she leaves out for school, and every night before she goes to bed. But would she love her if she knew?

Adora's dad on the other hand, she doesn't know about. Her mom has always been the one in the house with the strong beliefs and stubbornness. Her dad would always be the one to try and get her mom to calm down after Adora would get into a heated argument with her.

So she doesn't know.

 

Catra broke up with Lauren over a month ago. And she moved out of her mom's place about  _seven_ months ago.

_So why the hell is she still dealing with it?_

She left them both. And yet, it sometimes feels as if she never did. 

She'll hear their voices in her head at random times. Such as, when she's completing a play at a soccer game. Or giving directions to her teammates at practice. 

She'll also get nightmares. Which led to her having trouble sleeping. And being sleep deprived is not a good thing during exam season.

Catra's been thinking about what Adora suggested. She wasn't  _entirely_ against talking to someone. But vulnerability just really isn't her thing.

She thinks it'll go away over time. 

 

Catra gets no sleep whatsoever that night.

She dials Adora's number and she picks up almost immediately. 

"Hello?" Adora yawns into the phone.

"Adora, I think I'm gonna start seeing a therapist."

* * *

 

Catra and Adora are both sitting down in the lounge area of a therapy building when a young woman enters and calls Catra's name.

"I don't have to go with you if you don't want me to. I'll sit right here and wait if that's what you want." Adora says.

"I want you in there."

"Okay."

 

Catra is given paper work with a bunch of questions on it to fill out. The sheet contains questions like, h _ave you been suicidal at all during the past year? Have you suffered from any form of anxiety? Have you found it hard to concentrate or focus at all?_

She does her best to answer all of the questions honestly.

"Are you two together?" The young woman named Mikayla asks.

"No." Catra and Adora say simultaneously.

"I'm just here for moral support." Adora replies awkwardly.

Catra nods. She hands the paperwork back to Mikayla.

The woman looks over it and then back up at Catra.  
"Based on your online application, it looks like you're here because of issues with your mother and a significant other."

"That is correct", Catra agrees.

"You live alone, correct?" Mikayla asks.

"Yes, I got emancipated about seven months ago."

Mikayla types a few things onto her computer. "Why don't you tell me a little bit about your previous relationship with your mom, whatever you feel comfortable with sharing."

"I never really had a good relationship with her. When I was little it always consisted of me getting punished and scolded for the tiniest of things. I never really understood what I did wrong, or why she would treat me this way. And it was like I could never do right in her eyes. Everything I did was wrong, nothing was ever good enough for her. I was never good enough for her", Catra explains.

Mikayla nod slowly, taking the information in. "If you're comfortable, could you go more into detail?"

"She would always belittle me and insult me. She'd say that I was worthless and incompetent a lot. When I was in elementary school I'd draw all of the time. I told my mom I wanted to be an artist. She said that I'd never be good enough and that my art work was barely even on a mediocre level." Catra could feel Adora's gaze on her.

"How did that make you feel?"

Catra feels her throat start to become a little dry. "Like shit. Like I'd never be good enough for anyone. Or that I wasn't deserving of anything nice that came my way."'

"So Catra, what I want you to remember is that you do deserve nice things. That you are important, and that you are more than worthy of love and admiration." Mikayla takes out two sheets of blank paper and markers. "I want you to write five things that you like about yourself on that piece of paper. Adora, would you mind writing about Catra as well?"

Adora shakes her head. "No, not at all."

Catra starts to think. She thinks she's pretty smart.

_Smart._

Her art teachers would always talk about her creativity.

_Creative._

_Artistic._

She's has to be kinda strong. She's endured all of this shit, and she's still alive so that has to count for something.

_Strong._

Catra doesn't know what else to put. She doesn't wanna sound shallow and put something like 'pretty '. How could you complete this activity without sounding like a conceited asshole?

"I could only come up with four."

"That's okay. Adora, would you mind reading what you wrote first?"

"Well, I guess I'm a little biased because I'm her best friend but sure. I put,  _kind-hearted_ , once you get to know Catra she's one of the kindest people with a genuine heart. I also put  _diligent,_ she's a really hard worker. Then,  _loving. Loyal,_ and  _strong-minded."_

_Kind-hearted._

_Diligent._

_Loving._

_Loyal._

_Strong-minded._

Adora sees her this way. 

She didn't think she could, but Catra loves her even more now. 

"You don't have to read your's out loud Catra. But you should think about these positive things about yourself and focus on them. Don't dwell on what others have said to you."

 

Adora hangs out at Catra's apartment after the session is over.

"Hey Catra, do you think my mom will still love me when she finds out?"

Catra stays quiet for a moment. "She should. If not she's just a shit person in my opinion." 

"I know that all the things that she said were wrong and hurtful but, I don't know."

"You still love her. And you still want her to love you. I get it."

"Yeah." Adora almost whispers.

She scoots closer to Catra on the bed. She loosely wraps her arm around Catra's waist and they lie there. 

Adora has no idea what's gonna happen next with her family, but she knows she'll have Catra through it all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i enjoyed reading all of your comments on the last chapter <3 these next two chapters are big ones as well.


	27. coming out is hard to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra continues her therapy sessions, adora reveals something huge to her parents.

       Catra decides to go to therapy on her own for her next session.

They talk about Lauren during this session. Catra explains why she felt the need to stay in the relationship after how Lauren treated her. She explained the waging war that took place in her mind at the time. How she knew that there wasn't  _truly_ anything she did to deserve any of it. But Lauren just kept telling her she did, and there was always that thought in the back of her mind that she did.

Mikayla ends up leading her to the back of the building and outside for this week's activity.

They stand side by side, Catra looking straight ahead.

"I want you to repeat after me," Mikayla makes eye contact with her. "I didn't deserve it."

Catra nods. "I didn't deserve it."

"Meaning, that you didn't deserve what you went through. Now say, I deserve  _better._ "

"I deserve better." She feels stupid.

"That means that not only did you deserve better then, but you deserve better now. Whenever your next girlfriend comes around, know that you deserve someone that really loves you, and will support you no matter what. Because that's what you would do for someone you truly love. Now I want you to repeat what you just said, but louder."

Catra sighs. "I didn't deserve it, I deserve better", she says slightly louder.

"Say it again."

"I didn't deserve it, I deserve better."

"Again."

_I didn't deserve it, I deserve better._

_I didn't deserve it, I deserve better._

_I didn't deserve it, I deserve better._

_I didn't deserve it, I deserve better._

_I didn't deserve it, I deserve better._

She's basically yelling at this point, but Mikayla says "Do it again."

"I didn't deserve it, I deserve better!" Catra actually yells it this time and lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. A few stray tears roll down from her eyes to her cheek bones.

She feels Mikayla place her hand on her shoulder.

 

Adora and Catra have soccer practice later that afternoon. Their championship game is coming up, along with a banquet to hand out awards and celebrate their successful season.

 

Adora drives home from practice that evening and enters her house through the garage. She walks through the hall that leads straight to the kitchen and over hears her mom on the phone.

Earlier during the week, her mom asked about having a proper dinner with Christian and his family since she and dad had an off day from work.

Adora tells her that she broke up with him and of course her mom expresses her disappointment with that. She claims that Adora's 'too picky' because this isn't the first time she's abruptly ended a relationship. 

Adora almost tells her mom that she's a lesbian right then and there.

"Oh! I agree with you! One of Adora's good friends,  _Bow,_ I think his name is, has two dads." Adora's mom says.

Instead of walking through the kitchen and heading to her room, Adora tightens her grip on her duffle bag and leans against the wall in the hallway.

"I heard they were supporting one of his brothers at a football game or something. We all know that I don't support the community but I don't necessarily have anything against them personally."

_Maybe she's slowly learning..._

"My main issue is with what they're pushing on to that poor child."

_Nevermind._

"Kids need a mom. That kid is probably extremely malnourished in the nurturing department. And they're pushing their sexuality and that  _LGBT_ agenda on to him. Probably been doing it since he was just a little kid. It's sad really." Her mom adds.

Adora's tired of this. Now her mom's even stooping as low as talking about her best friends parents. Her best friends parents that have never been anything but kind to her.

So she walks into the kitchen. "Mom."

Her mom looks up at her. "I'll call you back Karen, Adora's home. Hey, how was practice?"

"Don't. You said Bow is 'extremely malnourished in the nurturing department'. You said that Bow's dad's are pushing their sexuality on to him. What is your problem?"

Adora's mom eyes her with shock. "First of all, you shouldn't be speaking to me in that tone. And what is  _your_ problem Adora? We've been having this same argument for years. What are you gaining from it?"

Adora shakes her head. "That's not the point mom. You're talking about one of my best friends. You're talking about his family as well. Claiming they're bad parental figures because they're gay? Get a grip."

"Adora, what does this even have to do with you? You make everything so difficult sometimes, you know that? It's like I'll be having a decent conversation with you and I simply _say_ something you don't agree with, and then there's a full blown argument. And you acting hostile toward me for days."

"You know that's not how it is."

"Then what  _is_ it like Adora? You fight for these people when it has absolutely nothing to do with you. So _what's_ _wrong with you?"_

_What's wro_ _ng with you?_

She feels tears forming in her eyes. She feels like she's about to completely sever her delicate relationship with her mom.

She drops her duffle bag on the kitchen floor and makes eye contact with her mom. "You wanna know why I care mom? I care because I'm gay. And  _you_ tried to make me believe that it wasn't ok. So that's why I care so much. You happy now?"

Her moms mouth is slightly agape.

With that being said, Adora runs up to her bedroom and slams the door shut.

She pulls her phone put of her pocket and Facetimes Catra.

She answers on the the second ring.

"Hey Ador-"

"Catra, I just came out to my mom."

Catra's eyes widen. "You WHAT?"

"I came home and overheard her talking about Bow's dad's and I got kind of mad. We get into an argument and my mom asks why I care so much. I tell her I'm gay, thinking it's a power move. But now I remember that she can literally kick me out of my house so it definitely wasn't." Adora fiddles with her thumbs.

"So you're mom low-key goes on an anti-gay rant and you decide that right after she's finished with it is a good time to come out?!"

"Listen, I now realize how stupid it was now. Okay?"

"It was. But she's the one in the wrong here. Not you. I have a shift in a few so I need to get ready, but text me an update on your mom soon."

"Okay. Bye Catra."

Catra sighs. "Bye Adora."

She wishes that Catra still lived across the street so she could climb out the window and down their tree to get to her.

 

Her mom comes upstairs a few hours later and goes into her room without saying a word to Adora.

Adora decides to go down to her dad's office to ask about her.

"Hey dad."

He turns around in his roller chair. "Adora, you okay?"

She nods. "I'm guessing mom told you."

"Yeah. She needs time, that's all."

Adora scoffs. " _She_ needs time? Why? How hard is it to just  _support_ me. Who cares about her beliefs. I'm her daughter, shouldn't that mean something to her?"

" _Adora_ , I'll talk to her. Okay?"

"Okay. But, do  _you_ support me?"

He scoots closer to Adora. "When I first met your mom, we had clashing personalities since we're polar opposites. But later on down the line, it helped up balance each other out. Your mom was a closed minded person, not open to seeing anyone point of view except her own. Always thinking that her views, beliefs or opinions were right. As you can see, that hasn't changed  _that_ much."

"What's your point."

Her dad sighs. "Your mom is a very strict person. She can be uptight and unreasonable. But I helped her see things differently, I still do now. We talk it out  _together._ Your mom helps balance me out too. When we met, I wasn't the most responsible person. I didn't focus on the important things, like school or work. She helped me with that. And I love her for being herself, and standing by me throughout all of this. My point is, is that love is love. Who am I to try and say a relationship is wrong because it involves people of the same gender. If you work out like your mom and I did, I think that's great. So yes, I do support you."

Adora throws herself into a hug with her dad and lets herself cry on his shoulder.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was basically projecting in this chapter lmao.  
> so there's about 4 chapters left, 5 at the most. and you all are certainly in for a ride. i hope you enjoyed this one!
> 
> twitter: voidlalisa  
> tumblr: yeunslegacy


	28. pick your battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora finds herself in a predicament at a bad time, catra catches up with scorpia and entrapta.
> 
> tw//
> 
> homophobia

       Catra and Adora have one full week left of school and a two day week, before summer. 

Let's just say that Catra is ready to get out of the hellhole entirely. She's had two tests today already, and she has exams all next week and the two days of school after that. 

After she's done with the useless testing she'll probably spend her summer days with Adora, like she always does.

 

"Catra! It feels like it's been forever!" Scorpia says as she approaches her during study hall.

"I talked to you a couple days ago." Entrapta follows behind Scorpia.

"Yeah but you're M.I.A. in the group chat again!" Scorpia exclaims.

Catra blinks slowly. "There was nothing for me to say. You guys were just spamming it with random memes and shit posts."

"She's not wrong." Entrapta agrees.

"Anyways, you ready for summer Wildcat? I have  _so_ much planned already. And I am definitely forcing you out of that _drab_ apartment of yours. What do you have planned?" Scorpia rambles on.

"Uh, probably the same old, same old. Sleepovers at Adora's, maybe a couple at my place. And I'm thinking about a small vacation with her somewhere? I don't know where though. I haven't decided."

"Yep, you're in love with her." Scorpia says like it's no big deal.

Catra snaps her head in the direction where Scorpia is standing. " _What?_ "

Scorpia turns to Entrapta. "She didn't even deny it."

"Why on earth would you think that?" Catra asks, trying to be subtle. Her being in love with Adora can't be a commonly known thing if she wants to get over it. How would she move on if Scorpia talked about it everyday of the week?

"Still haven't denied it." Entrapta adds.

Catra groans. "Scorpia, answer the question please."

"The way you just explained your summer plans with Adora? How you wanna go on a vacation with her? Just the two of you? Sounds pretty gay to me."

Entrapta makes eye contact with her. "Yeah, based on my previous research on the difference between platonic and romantic feelings, that is not very platonic sounding."

"Well it is." Catra rummages through her locker before closing it. "And Adora doesn't have feelings for me anyway."

"It's common knowledge between Entrapta and I, and Mermista and Perfuma's group of friends that Adora's a lesbian. She told us! So you can't use the 'she's straight' excuse anymore. Plus I've seen the way she looks at you." Scorpia says.

Catra sure isn't excited to see Adora dating girls now. "Whatever guys. Third period is starting soon, I think I'm gonna head in there early."

"You still haven't denied it!" Scorpia yells at her while she's making her way down the hallway.

Catra flips her off and walks to class.

 

Meanwhile during Adora's time in study hall, she does something pretty stupid. Maybe it isn't really stupid but, it is if you do what she did without thinking about the consequences.

So let's start at the beginning of study hall. 

She's walking down the hall with Bow and Glimmer, participating in mindless chatter for a little while.

"So Adora, how's the whole being in love with Catra thing going? Or are you still denying that..." Bow says.

"It's going great actually. She has no idea." 

Glimmer furrows her eyebrows. "Um, how is that a good thing?"

"Well, what if she doesn't feel the same way? If she doesn't, and never finds out about this whole thing, our friendship stays the same", Adora explains.

"But what if she does?" Bow questions.

"I haven't exactly thought about that... But I do have semi good news!"

"What?" They ask simultaneously.

"I came out to my parents..."

"Adora that's great!"

"Yeah!" Glimmer adds.

"But, I haven't talked to my mom since. My dad supports me though!"

They both give her sympathetic looks. 

She's glad she left out the part about Bow's dads. "But everything's gonna be fine, I swear! And I have to go grab something out of one of my teacher's trailers before third period. See you guys later!" Adora says before running out the doors.

She didn't lie about having to go to one of the trailers. She had to pick up an old project.

But coincidentally, two members of the varsity football team are walking her way, exiting the trailers as she gets ready to enter. She gets a better look at them as they walk closer toward her. One of them is good friends with a guy she dated back in her sophomore year.

"Hey Adora, heard you broke up with that guy Christian? Why's that?" The guy, who's name is Trent, says.

"None of your business Trent." She keeps walking.

"Aw, I just wanted to know if it was the same reason why you broke up with Jackson last year." Trent continues.

Adora starts to slow down but keeps walking.

Trent laughs. "Because you're a  _dyke."_

Adora stops walking and turns around. "And why would you think that Trent? You think I'm a lesbian just because I broke up with your douchebag of a best friend?"

She's only out to her friends and family. And she wants to make sure it stays that way.

Trent steps closer to Adora. "Nah, it just makes sense. You always abruptly dump the dudes you date. But you're awfully close to that girl with the big brown hair. It's pretty sus."

"So what if I dump them? What the _hell_ does that have to do with you?" 

Trent comes even closer, Adora steps back. He shrugs. "I'm just trying to help you Adora. I'm sure the right guy will  _straighten you out."_

Adora balls up her fist and then un-balls it. "Fuck off, Trent."

Trent laughs again. "You know, I'm positive that the girl you're always with is a  _lesbian_. What's her name? You'd always talk to Jackson about her...Was it  _Catra?_ "

Adora continues to stand still, not saying a word, but glaring daggers at the guy in front of her. 

"I'm sure I could give  _Catra_ a good time and fix her right up!" Trent smirks.

Adora walks up to him and decks him right on the nose. The boy next to him looks at her in shock, slowly backing away.

"You crazy bitch!" Trent yells.

She grabs Trent by his shirt collar. "Gay or not, she wouldn't fuck you, and neither would I. You wanna know why Trent? It's because you're a low life scumbag that's gonna spend the rest of their working at a fast food chain." She drops him and sees blood running down his nose. "Ever say anything like that again and I'll break your nose."

She walks back inside of the school, choosing to get the project another day. 

Adora practically races through the school, knowing third period starts in just a few minutes, to find Christian.

He's shutting his locker when she makes it over there. 

"Christian, did you tell anyone?"

Christian pauses. "About what you told me on prom night? No. I would never. Why?"

Adora takes a few breaths, still tired from running around the school. "Something happened with some football player. He was being a dick and I might've punched him..."

Christian's eyes widen. "Oh my god. Who was it?"

"Trent Whithead."

Christian's eyes go even wider. "Adora, his parents are fucking nuts. They're those people that would bribe teachers to keep their child out of trouble if they do anything wrong. Did you even think about what would happen when he inevitably tells a teacher what happened?"

"Well, no. I was just gonna tell him to fuck off and maybe insult him, but the he started talking about Catra and, yeah..."

Christian shakes his head. "You shouldn't have done that."

"I shouldn't have done that? Do you think I was in the _wrong_ for punching a homophobic asshole?"

"Of course not. But school's about to be out and that type of shit stays on your record. I just think you need to pick what battles you wanna fight wisely."

................................................................................................................................................................

Later on during third period, Adora's called to the eleventh grade office.

Catra looks at her, confused.

"I'll explain later." She mouths to her before getting out of her seat and begrudgingly leaving the classroom.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a LOT happens next chapter and is a huge turning point for them both. hope you all enjoyed this chapter <3


	29. detention and drunken mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adora's predicament gets her in trouble with her parents, catra's feelings for adora are put to the test.
> 
> tw///
> 
> homophobia mentions

       Adora sits in the assistant principles office for a while. Eventually, her parents show up. 

They obviously aren't very happy. 

Trent's in the office with his parents as well. He still has a tissue partially up his knows even though it stopped bleeding a while ago. Adora guesses it's for the dramatics. 

"So Adora, Trent called you and your friend out of your names and you responded by punching him, correct?" The assistant principal asks her.

"He didn't just call me out of my name, he  _harassed_ me. I was literally minding my own business, going to pick up my old project from a trailer, and Trent decides to use homophobic slurs against me and make sexual comments." Adora explains angrily.

"I was just telling it how it is", Trent says smugly. Adora wants to break his stupid nose  _so_ badly.

"Adora, you still responded with violence. Which this school has a zero tolerance policy for." The assistance principal continues.

"He rightfully  _deserved_ it. Did he tell you what he said to me? Did he tell you the vulgar comments he made about Catra? Claiming that if he slept with her he could 'fix her up'?" Adora spews.

"So this is about Catra." Her mom cuts in.

Adora quickly turns to her mom. "What? No!"

The assistant clears her throat. "Moving on, Trent we've decided to give you awarning. Adora, an after school detention and a Saturday detention this week. The principal was thinking about not letting you participate in that championship soccer game of yours so I'm being very lenient. You're both lucky that we are coming upon the last days of school or some suspensions may have taken place." 

"Of course Trent gets a warning-" Adora begins but the assistant cuts her off.

"Adora."

The woman looks up at Trent and Adora's parents. "You all are free to take them home since it's last period, or they can return to their designated class."

"You're coming home with us young lady. We are going to have a  _very_ long talk." Her mom says.

Adora exits the office, leaving all of the parents and Trent to discuss whatever. She sees Catra on the corner of the hallway.

"What's the verdict?" Catra asks.

Adora sighs. "Guilty. After school detention and a Saturday."

"Damn girl what did you do?"

"You know that Jackson guy that I dated for a couple months last year?"

Catra nods. 

"I punched his best friend in the nose because he was harassing me."

Catra's eyes seem to grow larger out of shock, her tail wavering around out of curiosity. "You're gonna have to elaborate on that."

Before she can respond, the assistant principal along with her parents come out to the hall. The second principal notices Catra almost immediately.

"Miss Catra, don't you have a class to attend to?"

Catra's eyes shoot up. "Um, yes. I just stopped by the restroom and saw Adora so I came and said hi." Catra begins to walk the other way before turning back around. "Actually, I can go get Adora's stuff!"

"No, I'll have another student get to that. Thank you for offering though." The woman stares at Catra, her face practically screaming 'go back to class'.

Catra mouths a small 'sorry' to Adora and hurries back to her last period.

 

Adora gets home and almost as soon as they step foot into the door her mom begins her lecture.

"I'm disappointed in you Adora. You know better than this type of behavior."

Adora doesn't respond. 

I didn't expect this to come from you. Is this Catra rubbing off on you? I always knew that she was a bad influence."

"Don't bring Catra into this." Adora replies.

"Why would you do this? What if you would've broken that kids nose?" Adora's mom continues.

" _Why_ _would I do this_? Maybe because he harassed me. Maybe because he claimed that my sleeping with me, he could 'straighten me out." 

"You still used violence in the situation Adora. We've taught you better than this." Her dad adds.

"Well violence was clearly the only thing that got through to him..." Adora trails off.

Her mom shakes her head. "I want your phone, and no going out for two months."

"What?" Adora raises her voice.

Her mom extends her punishment. "And that car will be used for driving to and from school. After school's out, you can kiss it goodbye for six weeks." 

Adora takes her phone out of her pocket and practically slams in on the counter. "You can have that. But I'm not staying here."

Adora grabs her keys and almost runs out to the garage and out of her house completely. 

 

Catra arrives back at her apartment from school to find her welcome mat shifted in a weird direction. Her spare key has been under that mat since Lauren broke in by destroying her potted plant. 

Catra unlocks her front door with a shaky hand. She hears the jingling of keys in the air as soon as she enters.

"Spare key under the mat."

_Adora._

She lets out a huge breath. "You can't just do that."

"What? Use your spare key? I've done it before."

"That was before something happened..."

Adora jumps off of the couch. "What happened? Oh my god Catra, did someone break into your apartment?"

"It wasn't _exactly_ a break-in. A couple months ago Lauren came in and messed up my front porch. We got into an argument and I locked myself in my room and called Scorpia so Lauren would leave."

Adora walks toward her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Catra sighs. "It's a long story. Anyways, let's get back on topic. Why are  _you_ here?"

Adora looks down at her feet. "I kinda ran away from my parents house."

"What do you mean by you kinda ran away from your parents house?"

"They were being really unfair and I refused to follow through with their punishment. My mom took my phone but I grabbed my keys and left right after."

Catra plops herself onto the couch. "Jesus christ Adora, what did the dude even say for you to punch him."

Adora sits right next to her. "He called me a dyke and said that I'd be straight if I had sex with him."

Catra eyes her. "That's not the entire story. What else did he say?"

"He said that if you slept with him he could fix you. I guess I just got really mad at that."

Catra nudges her shoulder. "Look at you coming to my defense. But wow, that guy is a total  _dick_."

"I agree."

"But you probably shouldn't have punched him."

Adora swings her head around to meet Catra's eyes "What? He deserved it!"

"Yeah but it was kind of bad timing."

"Please, you know you would've punched him too."

Catra shrugs. "You're not wrong... Wanna have some fun before your parents call me?"

"Depends on what you have planned."  
  


 

They mess around for an hour or two but end up watching TV on Catra's couch afterwards.

A few minutes later Adora's parents call Catra and she hands the phone over to Adora.

Adora walks into the kitchen. 

Catra overhears bits and pieces of the conversation. Adora sounds frustrated with both of her parents. She talks about her mom not speaking to her for two full days after coming out. Only talking to her after she got in trouble at school. She hears Adora explain how she told the guy to stop and leave her alone several times.

No more than twenty minutes later Adora returns to the living room with Catra's phone.

"You driving home?" Catra asks.

"Actually, no. My dad said he and my mom were going to work some things out. He agreed to letting me temporarily stay with you as long as you're okay with it. Are you okay with it?" Adora fiddles with her hands, somethings she always does when she's nervous.

"Hell yeah!"

Adora smiles at her reaction. "Okay, my dad's gonna drop off some of my stuff tomorrow then."

* * *

 

The week continues on, Adora coming home with Catra. Adora could get used to it. 

She completed her after school detention on Thursday. It's Friday now, meaning she has her Saturday one tomorrow. 

 

They both head to Catra's apartment after school. Adora was initially going to just study a little and go to bed but Catra has other plans.

Catra swings herself onto the small kitchen counter. "So, tomorrow will mark a week since you've come out to your parents..."

"I've also punched my my ex-boyfriend's best friend, got two detentions for it, basically ran away from home, and now I'm temporarily living with you."

"You're right. It's been a very eventful week. You deserve a break."

"Catra-"

"You know Adora, there's only one thing better than a regular bar."

"What?"

Catra smirks. "A gay bar. And we are going. _Tonight_."

"I don't know... Don't you need like, a fake ID and stuff?" Adora questions. 

"Nah, Scorpia's sister works there. I went to this bar a couple times with Lauren... But now I can make new memories with you. We can dance, and if you don't wanna drink you can get a soda or something. It's not like Scorpia's sister would let us drink with her tending the bar anyway."

Adora gives in. "Fine. But we can't get back too late. I have to be up early tomorrow."

 

Catra throws on a black crop top and light blue, low waisted jeans, along with combat boots. She lends Adora her brown leather jacket and Adora puts it on over a white fitted t-shirt, and light blue jeans that are little darker than Catra's. 

Catra drives and the ride there is comfortably silent. 

When they pull up to the bar they walk over to a side door. 

"Do I look cool enough? I've never been to a bar." Adora asks.

Catra basically inspects her outfit. She then pulls the ponytail out of Adora's hair and ruffles it. "Wear it down. And you look  _fine._ I'd totally smash."

Adora kicks her in the knee and Catra laughs.

Scorpia's sister lets them in and Adora looks around in awe. It's filled with men and women in probably their mid twenties and early thirties. Other couples are laughing at the bar and chatting on different sides of the place. 

Catra grabs her hand. "Let's dance!" She calls out over the music.

They start off slow at first, not really knowing what do. The music obviously isn't meant for slow dancing, but it's not casual side stepping music like what administrators play at school dances.

Then Catra lightly pulls Adora's waist closer to hers. They start a pattern, Adora slowly dances upward, and then Catra moving down towards the floor. They both smile giddily, they get closer and closer to each other until there's no space between them at all. Catra puts her arms around Adora's neck and they move together. Adora takes off the leather jacket and kicks it under a bar stool. Adora tousles Catra's hair and flips her own off of her shoulder.

The song ends and they throw themselves onto the bar stools to catch their breath. Adora feels like she's on a high.

_High off of Catra..._

Her hair is slightly frizzy and any other time of day she'd be annoyed. But it's like a _nice_ kind of frizzy, if that makes any sense. 

Adora breaks the silence between them. "That was-"

" _Amazing_." Catra finishes her sentence perfectly.

"We've  _got_ to do that again sometime."

Catra feels breathless. " _Yeah."_

Scorpia's sister slides down to where they're sitting. "Hey Catra, you got somebody that wants to talk to you out in the back."

Catra looks to Adora. "I'll be back in a second."

 

Catra goes back out through the side door and sees Lauren. She hasn't talked to her since she broke up with her in the commons area. Lauren tried to text her a few times but Catra blocked her number. 

"What do you want Lauren?"

Lauren squints. "Bringing Adora to our old hang outs now?"

Catra rolls her eyes. "Last time I checked it's a fucking bar. Why are you even here?"

" _Last time I checked it's a fucking bar."_ Lauren mocks her.

"You didn't answer the question. What do you want?"

"To talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you. Now if you'll excuse me, I wanna dance with Adora one more time before we leave." Catra starts to head towards the door but Lauren grabs her wrist.

"Wait."

Catra yanks her wrist out of Lauren's grasp. "Don't touch me. And I gave you all the chances in the world to talk, to apologize, but you didn't. I've been doing pretty good lately Lauren. Good without you. I don't want anything to do with you." 

Catra goes back into the cool bar after that. She feels content. She walks back over to where she was sitting to find Adora a few feet away, tripping over her own feet on the dance floor.

_Goddamnit she's drunk._

She tugs on Adora's arm, pulling her back over to the bar counter. "How many drinks did you have? I was barely even gone for ten minutes!"

Adora holds up two fingers. 

Scorpia's sister slides back down to them. "Everything okay?"

"Who the hell gave Adora alcohol?"

"You know that I wouldn't." Scorpia's sister reminds her. "Probably one of the bartenders that didn't know. Hey Connor! Over here!"

"Yes?" the young man answers.

She points to Adora who waves. "Did you serve this girl?"

"Yeah! I gave her two of the special. They were small though. She downed them pretty quickly."

_Fucking idiot._

"Oh god. The special is probably the strongest drink on the menu." She says. 

Catra groans. She has to deal with drunk Adora- who's an absolute lightweight! and then tend to Adora's hangover. "Well, that's it for us tonight. See you guys later."

Catra basically drags her out of the bar. At one point Adora even licks her arm. 

She gets her in the car and Adora begins to clap. "You should honk the horn. It'll be really funny!"

Catra blinks slowly. Dealing with a drunk Adora is tiring.

 

She pulls her back into the apartment and Adora falls back onto the couch. "Your couch is so comfy. I love this place. It's better than my house. It feels more like home."

Catra frowns. She remembers when they were younger and how Adora would be sad about how her parents worked all of the time. Eventually she just got used to it. Catra walks into her bedroom to grab something for Adora to sleep in. 

She tosses and old t-shirt and shorts to her. "Here, go to the bathroom and put those on. If you have to throw up, do it in the toilet."

Adora pouts. "No, I wanna do it right here."

"Fine. I'll be in my room."

"No Catra, stay. Just cover your eyes. Like this." Adora demonstrates by cupping her hand over both of her eyes. She opens her hand a little bit and looks at Catra.

Catra can't help but smile. 

"Except, no peeking. I'll tell you when to open them."

Catra sits on the couch with her eyes covered like a child.

"Okay, now you can open them!"

Catra laughs. The shirt is on inside out. "Good job." She says sarcastically.

Adora pats her on her head. "Thanks Catra. Now close your eyes again, I have a surprise for you."

"Adora-"

"Please Catra" Adora's bottom lip trembles and Catra gives in.

Catra's tempted to cross her fingers and pray that Adora doesn't vomit all over her. 

But instead of vomit, she feels Adora's cold hands on her cheekbones. And then her lips on top of her own. It's sloppy because Adora's drunk as hell, and Catra's body is practically frozen in place.

Adora pulls away, her hands still on Catra's face. Catra's eyes flutter open. 

Adora smiles. "There."

Catra's almost kissed Adora two times during their twelve years of friendship. She never brought them up again so things wouldn't be awkward or confusing. 

But now Adora has  _actually_ kissed her. She doesn't know what to do.

She sleeps on the couch that night. Adora snoozing off in her bed.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so excited for season 3 omg. anyways, i hope all of you enjoyed this chapter <33 also, the dance scene between catra and adora at the bar is inspired by the one in teen wolf with malia and kira during 4x01 lol


	30. i know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two weeks pass by and adora and catra are out of school, adora goes to another therapy session with catra and finds something out about catra's relationship with lauren.

       Two weeks pass by and Catra hasn't said anything to _anyone_ about the kiss.

Adora asked the morning afterwards if she had done anything stupid and Catra said no. Adora's always pegged her as a happy and touchy drunk, all the more reason for Catra to believe that the kiss didn't mean anything.

Adora's dad messaged her-since Adora still doesn't have her phone, saying that he talked to Adora's mom and she really wants her back home.

It's probably for the best, maybe Catra just needs time to get over it and move on. 

But she realizes that almost kisses are  _way_ easier to just forget about than real ones.

 

Catra lets Adora come to her next therapy session. She even suggests that they do the sessions together, especially with all that's been going on with Adora and her parents. Adora thanks her for asking and agrees to it.

Mikayla eventually brings up Lauren again, asking if there was a particular reason Lauren would get angry at Catra. She asks this to get to the root of why Catra felt the need to stay with her. 

But Catra hadn't told anyone why Lauren was mad, no one asked either. Adora didn't ask, she just knew that there was no good reason for someone to put bruises on their significant other's body.

Catra hesitates before answering the question. "Lauren was... jealous. She thought that I had feelings for Adora and that I was just leading her on. I told her several times that I didn't have feelings for Adora but she didn't believe me. So she'd constantly tell me that Adora was only using me and would eventually leave me."

Adora turns to look at her. "Why didn't I know this?"

Catra sighs. "Because I knew that you'd probably place part of the blame on you, and take matters into your own hands."

Before Adora can argue Catra stops her. "Let's just talk about this when we get home."

 

Adora definitely isn't happy to hear that Catra had been keeping this from her all this time.

And that isn't the only problem of course.

For the past two weeks, Catra had been distant towards her. She would sleep on the couch, and if she didn't do that, she'd sleep as far away from her as possible. Adora doesn't get what she did wrong or what the problem is since they've shared a bed during sleepovers for years now. 

Catra was just acting really weird and she has no idea why. 

During the drive back to the apartment, Catra doesn't say anything and neither does Adora. But she's determined to give her a piece of her mind the second they step foot inside of Catra's apartment.

 

" _Why,_ didn't you tell me about Lauren?" Adora asks as Catra takes her shoes off.

Catra rolls her eyes, "Gee Adora, could you let me get past the front door before you start interrogating me."

"How about no, _Catra._ I mean, it took you months to tell me this bit of information. Oh, and you didn't even tell  _me._ The only reason I found out is because Mikayla asked you about it and I just so happened to be in the room."

"I already told you why. I knew you would somehow blame yourself for what happened to me, and you'd take it upon yourself to go and talk to her."

Adora turns around as Catra walks past her. "You don't get to do that."

"I don't get to do what?"

"You don't get to just _assume_ what I would do."

Catra scoffs. "Are you trying to say that you  _wouldn't_ have tried to fix the situation on your own?"

Adora shrugs. "I don't know what I would've done. How do _you_  know what I would've done?"

"Because I know you."

Adora stays silent.

Catra sighs. "Can we not argue about this anymore? I'm sorry I didn't tell you then. But there's nothing I can do about it now."

"Yeah we can stop arguing about that... but there's something else as well." Adora trails off.

"What is it?" Catra just wants Adora to get whatever she needs to say off of her chest. She doesn't feel like having a heart to heart about Lauren or anything. 

"Why are you avoiding me?" Adora says, her tone changing drastically. Sounding more hurt than she intended to.

"How can I avoid you, you're literally staying in my apartment."

"You know what I mean."

Catra stops to think. She could tell Adora about the kiss and finally get it out in the open, or she could keep it from her. If she tells Adora, she'll more than likely stop feeling weird and guilty around her. But that could also drive a wedge between them, making things awkward. If she doesn't, the distance between them will fester for even longer, but she could still save their friendship and prevent things from being weird between them.

"Something happened when we got home from the bar to weeks ago. When you were drunk." Catra blurts out.

"What happened? Did I say something hurtful?"

Catra shakes her head. "No...you  _kissed_ me."

Adora gulps. " _Oh."_

 

"You told me to close my eyes because you had a surprise for me. I honestly thought you were gonna scratch behind my ear or puke all over me. Or both...But it's fine! You were drunk and messing around. And it didn't mean anything right?"

Adora laughs dryly. "But it did."

Catra's eyebrows furrow together. "What do you mean?"

"It did mean something. It meant something to me at least... I'm probably making a huge mistake saying this but, I'm in love with you Catra _._ And I've been in love with you since like, freshman year but I didn't even realize it until recently." Adora confesses.

Adora has the most sincere and genuine look on her face.

Catra really can't believe what she's hearing. "You're in love with  _me?"_

"Yeah, and you think the kiss was a mistake. I know."

Catra stands still, frozen in place, and doesn't say anything.

Adora's eyes dart around the room. Then she sighs and lets her hands rub her temples. "I should probably get going. My mom is ready to sit down and have a conversation with me and...yeah."Adora walks past Catra and into Catra's bedroom.

A minute or two later, she walks out with her duffle bag.

The voice in Catra's head is practically  _screaming_ at her, telling her to respond.

Adora's putting on her shoes, getting ready to grab her keys and walk out the door.

"Adora, wait." 

Adora turns around and Catra walks towards the front door, where Adora is standing. She stops when there's hardly any space between them.

Catra puts a shaky hand on Adora's cheekbone. Her eyes flutter shut and she leans in slowly, her lips meeting Adora's after what feels like forever.

The kiss is slow and gentle, kinda like they're both still learning how to do it. But it's also amazing at the same time.

Catra pulls away, her hands still placed on Adora's face. She smirks lazily. "You really thought that I didn't love you back? I thought it was kind of obvious."

Adora smiles. "It really wasn't."

"Or you're just oblivious." 

"Shut up." Adora says playfully. She drops her duffle bag and puts her hands on top of Catra's. She leans in, kissing her again, and somehow it feels even better this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the last one omg... i hope you guys enjoyed this one and the last chapter is like 99.9 percent fluff <3333


	31. we're getting married adora.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the ending we've all been waiting for...

       Adora stays at Catra's apartment for one more night before going home.

Her dad talked to her mom and they reduced her punishment to just a month with no phone. Adora's parents work a lot during the summer so she's home alone most of the time. 

Catra goes over there whenever she's able to.

 

The first time Adora calls Catra her girlfriend is at Glimmer's fourth of July party. 

It's an accident. She's introducing herself to one of Glimmer's new friend, and she points to Catra and refers to her as her girlfriend. She doesn't even notice that she does it.

Later on, Catra nudges her with her elbow and says, "You called me your girlfriend." There's a small smile on her face.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to. It just kinda slipped out and-" 

Catra cuts her off. "It's fine. I obviously  _want_ to be your girlfriend Adora."

Adora's eyes widen. "Wait, really? Like officially?"

"Yeah. Like, officially", Catra copies Adora's tone.

Adora has the biggest, dorkiest, grin on her face. She pulls Catra in to kiss her, but it's kinda sloppy since she can't stop smiling.

 

Even though Adora came out to her mom and talked to her, her problems weren't magically solved. 

She cries a good amount of times that summer. Catra wipes her tears away and does her best to help her through it. 

Catra cries too. Sometimes out of frustration, sometimes after nightmares, and even after talking about her childhood during therapy sessions. Adora lets Catra cry on her shoulder for as long as she needs to.

* * *

 

Senior year is stressful as hell. Adora's parents are on her case about colleges, Catra's worried that she won't get accepted into one she likes.

But Catra's biggest worry, or fear to be more specific, is losing Adora. 

She thinks it's inevitable. She thinks that they'll be hundreds of miles apart from each other, and that the distance will become too much. She thinks Adora would be the one to break it off with some teary-eyed apology claiming that the distance between them just isn't working.

Because of that growing fear, she pushes Adora away. 

Adora notices faster than Catra thinks she will. 

So Adora sits Catra down when she gets the chance to and asks her what's wrong and why she's pushing her away.

"Because I'm afraid." Catra avoids making eye contact with her.

Adora stares at her inquisitively. "Of what?"

"Of not being enough for colleges. Or for you, causing me to lose you." Her ears flatten and she lowers her head.

Adora frowns. "I can't believe you think you're getting rid of me that easily." Adora moves closer towards Catra. "You're it for me. And we'll figure out whatever comes our way, together. Like we always have."

Catra sighs. "I love you."

"I love you too."

 

After their senior graduation ceremony is over, and everyone's throwing their cap in the confetti filled air, Catra dips Adora on the stage before smiling and leaning in to press her lips against Adora's.

They both got into their dream schools by the way.

* * *

 

About eight years after they graduate, Catra and Adora are leaving their place in California to visit their friends and family back home over the summer.

Adora has something big planned. She tells Glimmer and Bow about it first. They say it's a good idea so she decides to follow through with it.

 _Hopefully it rains at some point._ Adora thought.

 

They go out to dinner with Adora's parents one night.

"How'a Cali?" Her dad asks.

"Great." Catra replies before stuffing her face with pasta.

"Pretty good. I finally don't look unreasonably pale for once in my life." Adora adds.

Catra scoffs. "You weren't even that pale before we moved."

"Uh, yes I was. Compared to now at least."

Catra flicks the side of her forehead. "Well _obviously_."

Adora elbows her in response.

Adora's mom shakes her head. "I was going to ask if you two planned on starting a family anytime soon but you're clearly not mature enough."

Catra suppresses a laugh.

"Oh  _please_. That's all Catra mom. I could easily take care of a child."

" _Liar!"_ Catra looks at Adora's mom. "When we got to the airport, she told me to race her to the other end of the terminal if I wanted a window seat on the plane."

"Who won?" Adora's dad says and her mom gives him a look.

"Obviously I did. I'm still faster after all of these years...", Catra adds with a smug look on her face.

Adora rolls her eyes and finishes her plate. She looks out the window to see pouring down rain.

_Perfect._

 

Adora and Catra are staying at Adora's parents house in her old room instead of a hotel. And on the drive back there from the restaurant, Adora stops at Catra's old house.

Apparently Catra's mom moved out a couple of years ago.

Catra looks at her from the passenger side. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see." Adora opens her car door. "Come on."

Catra hesitantly follows her to her old front yard.

Adora sits down behind a wet patch of muddy grass. "Sit there." She point to the spot right in front of her.

Catra sits down. "Adora what the hell are you doing? It's literally about to start raining again."

"I know. But I have something  _really_ important to say and I need you to listen. Okay?"

Catra looks around her old yard. "I don't see why you had to do it here but fine."

"I think I told you this story back in junior year but I'm not sure if you remember. But back when we we're little, we sat right here and made a mudpie. We did this a lot at one point but this one was really important. Right here, you said we should get married so we could always play together. I told my mom and, she said I couldn't. Which has always stuck with me for some reason. But when we first started dating, all I could think was that  _this, us,_ is how things are supposed to be. It's how I  _want_ things to be for the rest of my life." Adora wipes a small amount of mud to the side. "Close your eyes for a second."

Catra doesn't say anything and closes her eyes.

Adora digs through the mud and grass and pick up a small shiny box she buried in there a few days ago. She places it behind her. "You can open your eyes now."

Catra's opens her eyes and looks at her.

Adora sighs. "I don't know where else I'm going with this but, I  _love_ you Catra. I love you more than _anyone,_ or  _anything_ in the entire world." Adora grabs the box from behind her. "With that being said," She grounds herself on one knee and places the box on top it, then opens it. "will you marry me?"

Catra's mouth is slightly agape. "I- _yes",_ she responds breathlessly.

" _Yes?"_ Adora's so happy she could literally jump up and down.

Catra nods vigorously.

Adora quicly slides the ring onto her finger and then practically tackles her in the mud. She ends up straddling Catra and giggling. Catra smiles and Adora places her hands on Catra's face. She caresses her face with her thumbs and slowly leans in. When they kiss, it feels like the first time she kissed Catra, but a thousand times better. Because this time, she's gonna be kissing Catra for the rest of her life.

Catra pulls aways, biting back a huge grin. "We're getting  _married_ Adora."

"Yeah, we are. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

There's mud all over them both, and Adora's mom is  _definitely_   gonna make them hose off before coming back in the house. But they could care less.

And Adora _knows_ that  _this,_ is how things are supposed to be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't believe this fic is finished. This was originally just an idea and plot that came off the top my head. I'm glad you all liked it so much. Without all of the positive feedback and comments i more than likely would've started this fic and then just dropped it like i have with others due to my motivation being lost. I have a couple more AU ideas planned out though <33
> 
> tumblr: yeunslegacy  
> twitter: voidlalisa
> 
> oh, and christian got a front row seat at their wedding btw


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